My son feeling different

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My son feels his friends don't like him, and he feels different. He has gone from a social teenager to staying in his room. I have talked to him about what he feels, he can't express himself other than he is different. He is involved in sport a talented footballer and sprinter but he seems to have lost all interest. I feel that I am trying to encourage him to stay involved in his sport as it was always an outlet for him.

As his mother I feel if he decides to give it all up, he will only have his play station. How can I help him to stay with sports which he clearly loves. His peers clearly admire him and his talents and do invite him to parties and functions and want to hang with him. He is 15yrs old and could with his talent for sport maybe achieve high standards. I want him to succeed, but the most important achievement for me as his mother that he is happy. I am worried that he will become reclusive and am at a lost.

If I encourage him with his sport I feel I am pressuring him, if I don't he feels I am not interested. He wants to achieve high standards in his sports, but as a parent I really don't know if I am pushing him or helping. I am sure you all are reading between the lines as he is autistic and understanding my position. He has huge potential but also has his difficulties again I am lost. He is very attached to me and always wants too please me, all I want is for him to be happy. Academically he is above average, physically/sports he is well advance. Emotionally its
where he struggles. As a parent do I just step back and hope, or do I continue to encourage him. Next year he will have exams that are important to his future. Any advise appreciated thank you.

When he says he feels different, does he mean he feels differently than he used to feel? Or does he mean he is noticing that he's different from others?

YippySkippy

When he says he feels different, does he mean he feels differently than he used to feel? Or does he mean he is noticing that he's different from others?

He is noticing that he's different from others?

Sounds like he could be having issues with depression, though I don't want to attempt to diagnose but that is just one thought. It is certainly possible for people who are as far as anyone can tell successful acedemically and socially to still end up feeling depressed or even having low self esteem. Perhaps he would be intrested in talking to a therapist about it but might be hard finding one that has any experience with people on the spectrum but sometimes therapy is helpful and it could be entirely confidential if he doesn't want people to know about it.

I mean it seems like he needs some help/support with how he's feeling....even though he is doing well in other areas. Maybe he is a bit of an over-achiever and feels like his best isn't good enough and is harder on himself then he needs to be.

I agree sweetleaf but as a parent do I just back off, this is question my son is very dependent on me. He feels sad that what he states how do I help, do I just let him get on with him. Do I just ignore!!

Not all autistic people are depressed. The struggle of living with autism can lead to depression, but depression is not PART of autism. If your son is depressed, you should seek treatment for the depression.

What Yippy Skippy is saying is that depression and anxiety are co-morbids with autism. It is common that autistic people have depression but not all autistic people do. That is why people are asking. We have no way to know if he is depressed just b/c we know he is autistic.

In any event, you know your kid better than we do. If he really is liked and not having social problems then he may need CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to help him see that how he views reality is not correct. I would tread lightly here, b/c he could really be having social problems and they might not be visible to you. Kids, whether NT or autistic don't necessarily tell their parents all the details of these things, especially when upset.

Is there a way that you could get an honest 3rd party opinion, from a parent of one of his friend's, for example?

He may have had a conflict with someone on his sports team. Sometimes a teenager will tell you after a little coaxing, but sometimes you may never find out.

You might want to encourage him in sports that have less involvement with others such as tennis and long distance running.

A change of venue might provide an alternative to whatever went south for him in football.