Why is this?

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Why is it okay for Nerotypical Adult children to not tell their Parents Everything they are doing; and when they don't tell their Parents Everything that's okay.

For People who have Disabilites: you are held accountable when You don't tell Your Parents Everything.

This is only a partial answer, I don't know your individual circumstances.

But the partial answer is that parents hold all children accountable up until the children teach them to stop. They may do that politey or not but they begin holding parents accountable right back, so to speak, for respecting their independent right to make mature decisions, even ones the parents disagree with.

That's easier to do when you don't have a disability. Their might be some room though for things to get better.

Well its situational and it depends on the parents and children involved. In the case of a good parent, it doesn't matter what the neuro "status" of the child is, all that matters is the personality and tendancies of the child. That siad, since I'm guessing you are child, it's important to remember that since you are a child, it is likely that you view the world in a very egocentrically skewed way and that what you are percieving may not actually be the truth. Or if it IS the trith there may be reasons that you are not aware of/cannot discern.

In my case I have two children, a 6 year old on the spectrum, and a supposedly NT 4 year old. My 6 year old is generally pretty honest and very rarely lies. On the rare occasion she tries it, she does a bad job and usually comes clean within seconds. I let her have her secrets. I let her have free time. The 4 year old is a terrible liar and will wreck the bathroom and then lie about it. Or pinch her sister to make her have a meltdown and then claim utter innocence. Guess who doesn't get to have secrets (at least for now)?

So without knowing more about your situation, it is hard to say.

Are you financially independent?

As others have said, without more details we may not be getting the right answer for you. I don't know if you are comparing your parents to other parents or comparing how your parents treat you to how they treat your siblings.

1) Different parents do things different ways. Neither my husband or I were ever diagnosed as children. We are not formally diagnosed, now. Our parents act very different. My mom would rather not hear anything unpleasant b/c she finds it distressing. My husband's mom gets insulted if she doesn't hear every little thing and makes a big thing out of it b/c it is an emotional closeness issue. It also gives her the opportunity to interfere which we do not want. She views this as a closeness thing, too. (So we don't tell people much of anything--and they have gotten used to it.)

So, it could be that your parents equate information to emotional closeness.

2a)Parents treat siblings different from another when they perceive that they have different needs. If they do not have confidence in you that you can handle things on your own, they will want information and want to interfere. If you are financially independent and do not actually need their help this is relatively easy, though not painless to solve. Tell them you appreciate their concern, that you are independent, and you need to run your life your way.

2b)You really do need help, but you wish they would lay off when you want them to. If people are helping you, they will want input and it is very hard to get them to ease off. You have to use logic and reason and convince them of the things you can handle, show you know what you cannot handle, and develop trust in them regarding the things you can do. Some people will believe that by giving you help, they are entitled to all the information on your life, and will not be convinced.


Edited as per usual for typos, syntax etc.

Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 22 May 2014, 9:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

because they think you're not "street saavy" and will most likely be taken advantage of. A lot can happen, for example, I have a security door code which my young son of 9 yrs of age does not know. He's doesn't know it because if one of the felons I live around asks if for it, he'll just give it.
He feels he's simply answering somebody's question. He doesn't see ulterior motives such as robbery and murder. Some adults on the spectrum only see the world according to themselves. They would never rob or murder you, thus you would not do this to them unless they already saw you arrested previously on the news. Only then, can they peg you as a criminal. Innocent until proven guilty taken entirely too literally.