Strengths of being a parent with ASD

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For parents with an ASD, what strengths do you have that set you apart from NT parents?

-one of my biggest coping strategies for communicating with my children is to overdevelop scripts to use. If I want to add a new one for a new circumstance, I often write it down until I can remember it well. This has the benefit of being very consistent. Consistency is important for children, especially for those on the spectrum. I don't have any problems staying consistent.

When of my husband's gifts is humor. I see that a lot on these boards, too; humor is not an uncommon gift for those with ASD. There are advantages to humor being my husband's go-to mechanism for dealing with difficulty, at least when he sees others facing it: no matter what is going on with the kids, he can get them to laugh.

Obliviousness to subtle external pressure. Not sure if this always a strength, but there is very little doing stuff because we feel we ought to or because it's what other people are doing.

Approaching things cognitively instead of instinctually/emotionally is a great gift for a parent: I think lots of NT parents get "stuck" when they run into situations outside their own frame of mind (note the LARGE number of NT families dealing with kids with various types of delinquencies.)

I find that, in an odd way, I'm more flexible than an NT parent. I've found that NT parents get very stuck on "I'm the parent, you're the kid, you do what I say or else" and then are shocked when that falls apart. We have been able to turn our parenting styles totally upside-down and inside-out in order to figure out what works best for our son.

Also, the ability to search for, assess, and utilize information is a great asset. How many NT parents are part of a problem-solving community like this one? How many of the NT versions of those communities actually offer practical responses and assessments of the information that's out there? (Seriously - picture an NT forum about those Dr. Sears books. Once you're in one of those groups, everybody takes every word as gospel truth. Here, we say things like: this piece of this information worked for us but might not work in your situation, this is how we tweaked this technique, etc.)

This is not always true, but I think NTs are sometimes more likely to expect "mini mes" and can get more out of whack when their kids are different. Being used to being different can mean (not always)more tolerance for differences in general. I am actually more surprised than not--when my son does something the way I would. I also know my special interests are weird and don't expect mine to align with his. When one does, it is a happy surprise.

I find that I'm often explaining/interpreting DS's behavior to my NT(ish!) husband. Whether or not that's because we both have ASD, I can't say for sure. I think having an Aspie parent can definitely be beneficial to an Aspie child, though.
As for my NT daughter, I'm not sure there's any benefit for her. I mean, I think I'm a good mom, but I don't think I'm BETTER for being Aspie.

What a great thread! I need to reflect a bit more on my strengths and ruminate less on my failings right now.
I can certainly echo kcizzle's thoughts- we don't care wtf other people think of us, that's for sure! Most of the time we think what everyone else is doing is bizarre or nonsensical, and of course we're doing it better. So that's kind of nice. I get a lot of moms asking ME for advice because they think I've got it together simply because I don't appear frazzled (little do they know).

I think this is quite true. I've got a friend with four kids, and she's gone through bouts of extreme worry with all of them because she doesn't understand exactly what they're doing or wanting, or because they're doing something unexpected. As though they're getting away from her somehow. It takes her a very long time to accept that it's not an emergency/tragedy if a kid doesn't tick all the boxes for winningest standard life resume. I'm actually a little worried about how she deals with two of them, who seem to me very bright, nice, happy kids, but they're being pushed awfully hard to fit standard molds and it's plain they don't fit there. I'm just standing by to be the auntie who lets them know that they're fine, they're not bad or deficient people if they're not competing for national medals, aren't in their places with bright shiny faces, etc.

That's one of my Dad's strengths, too! Me and him have always had lots of fun making weird, quirky jokes back and forth - starting with when he used to tap my foot against my forehead and say 'boot to the head' when I was a toddler.

My Dad isn't diagnosed, but we're pretty sure he's on the spectrum. In some ways, he's more AS than I am.

Another strength, specifically for AS parents of AS kids, is having an intuitive understanding of autistic traits. My Dad has always been able to spot when I'm getting overloaded, and can often identify what's causing the overload, while my Mom more often needs me to actually tell her I'm overloaded and why. (Which is not always possible, since overload affects speech skills.) I sometimes think this is a big part of why I don't have the alexithymia common among autistic people - because I've always had a parent who is able to read me easily and comment on how I'm feeling without me telling him. It seems like most young children are alexithymic to some degree, but parents help them learn how to detect their own emotions. Many NT parents struggle to read AS kids and can't help them figure out their own emotions as easily.

Although therapists and professionals often warn for projection, I think it is an asset to be non-NT parent to a non-NT child. When I get overstimulated or stressed, I tell my kid 'my brain is overloaded', and he both understands -which is awesome- but more importantly, he gets used to neurodiversity, it 'normalizes' certain things; it makes certain talks easier. My kid opens up more to me, then to his dad. He knows I understand.
And as said by Ettina, being sensitive to sensory input and possible overflow, makes it possible to anticipate things. I can spot the 'danger zones' in public places, I know in advance what the little things are that can make my kid uncomfortable when reading the schedule for school trips, etc. In fact, I often find it baffling how other people don't see it. No offense to the NT parents, but sometimes I see kids (NT or not) getting meltdowns or sensory-related tantrums that I anticipated long before, and think to myself 'well, duh- what did you expect?'.

Disclaimer: I don't have an actual AS or ADHD Dx, was merely labeled 'high IQ', but I have substantial sensory difficulties, some issues with reading social clues, and apparently, some AS genes.