Are residential schools helpful?

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My son is 12 with a dx of asperger's with adhd. He was diagnosed with asperger's in the third grade and been in specialized classes, with mainstreaming, ever since...
Nevertheless, school is a problem. My son loves other people, especially other kids. The kids at school, however, don't like him and he doesn't have any friends. He's cute, funny, and simply doesn't know when to stop or when his version of comedy is appropriate. If he wants to do something, he wants to do it his way, without regard to other people's wishes or the "rules" of the game. But, he does great in a specialized sleep away summer camp where they seem to appreciate his unique qualities. So, we're wondering are there any residential schools for aspie kids that provide quality academics and can help my son learn that it's a good idea to follow the rules, even if you don't understand them. Thanks.

there are definitely some schools in CT Glenholm-devereaux is one...not sure where you are, so it's hard to say where you should start looking.

If you can find one that offers lots of visitation rights, for parents, than go for it. Ask if you can visit your child, at least three times a week.

another thing to consider is the effect on your child....for a brief moment in time when things were incredibly hectic with my son, we thought about residential~simply put, we were desperate. we didn't feel that we could cope with the non-stop drama and chaos. his meds weren't working, and you just never knew what he would be like from one day to the next. some days, just saying hi to him would set him off.
even though things got BAD, we realized that the best thing for our son was for *us* to make some drastic changes. my husband was able to scale back his hours at work, so that he could become my son's primary caretaker. we put him in an intensive 6 week therapeutic program ( which didn't help BTW, but that's a whole other story)....we also began to look more closely at the way in which his medications were being managed. as it turns out, just getting him to get some real, actual sleep made a tremendous difference ! ( we didn't know at the onset that much of our son's problem was that he was only getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night~hence the drama ...)

I don't think this helps you in the short run, but there is a high school for Asperger's children in Moraga, CA called the Orion Academy. Here is a link to their web page --

http://orionacademy.org/

I was just reading some info from the student's point of view, and although this doesn't seem to be a residential school, it is interesting to read how comfortable kids feel in the program.

I am just now learning how hard it is for my son to be in a noisy, chaotic environment. These kids crave order and quiet, so maybe your child would do better at a residential program, if their summer camp experience is any indication.

I think it's something to approach carefully, as your son could feel incredibly rejected if the whole thing is not handled properly. Whatever you do, don't send him somewhere like the Judge Rottenberg Centre as there have been numerous reports of child abuse at that place.

Some rules are made to be broken so it's not a good idea to force children to follow all rules. It's better to have a few rules that are properly explained and apply to all than lots of rules that are not consistently applied and therefore appear to be unfair to the child concerned. As an AS adult, I will question rules that aren't explained properly but once I understand the reasoning behind them, I am good about complying.

I dont know if i can be of help to you,I am going through the same thing for my 16yr old daughter.WE dont want to make a mistake on the help we find her and when reading reports on abuse it makes the situation even harder.Anyway you look at it its a extremley diffuicult decision to make thats for sure.My daughter has ASP also. I wish you well. deedee26

Have you considered a secondary social club?

-Scouts or cadets.... where rules have to be followed (Note the organisation may have alot of difficulty with your son, so it may be prudent to be an 'active' parent in the club during bake sales)

..It worked for me and did wonders on at least 2 other ADD kids that were in scouts with me (I still know one of them and you wouldn't gather that he has add unless you knew him - or pissed him off!)

-One of the add kids liked to drive scout masters vehicles and light fires (One day on a 40 degree day he light one - boy did he get the s**t kicked out of him for that!)

ADD kids can have a hard time in these social groups, (and the people around them can have one too) , but on the whole if they stick with they can take away alot with them. The boy that survived the longest (the one I am freinds with till this day) only stayed because his parents made him, and he had interest in chopping down trees. By the time he was fifteen he was still 'coping it' from his peers - and the scout masters.... but had developed a taste for having 'army buddies'... a bond that can only be procurred in scout like groups where overcoming adversity in the group, and knowing each ones traits bonds everyone.


....Note:: take your kid every 2nd meeting instead of all of them - it will help the the scout group to have some 'time without him', and allow your son to develop freindships.

..Note the friend that I have has the same make-up as your son..... overly friendly with everyone- its just that no-one could stand him - to this day I he still gives me the s**ts... but in the scout environment we are all tuaght to live and let live..

.SOME memorable incidents...

He cut his arm while sharpening a stick to hunt for pigs - no-one else wanted to hunt for pigs, he was just inventing because he was being shun again from the group.
Panic attacks - there were many, but my favorite was when he cut his leg with the axe - as usual he went of to gather wood for everyone... we all told him he was an idiot for the technique he was using to chop the tree - he didn't like our opinion so he started wheezing and hrowing the axe around and breaking twigs with his chopped leg --it was funny, you had to be thier.
To this day he has learnt from his experiences at scouts - if he had of never gone I think he would seriously be on mid altering drugs today just so that he could even go in public. (Yeah he still breaks window panes on the odd occasion, and even punches brick walls, thinking the wall won't retaliate!)
-Oh he suffers from exhma - his nick name is crocidile skin (from all the scratching his skin is now as tough as leather)