More egg on face

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Sooooo....

I attended my son's IEP meeting last week. All went well. A room full of female teachers and therapists all gathered to talk about my darling dear son. We are all on the same page about what his issues are and what needs work. At the end of our session, I asked who his teacher next year would be. They responded that my son has been asking about a certain teacher, Ms. "C", and told them he had had a dream about her. To which I responded, "He loves the young and pretty ladies. Is she young and pretty?" Response: dead, uncomfortable silence, and all of them looking at each other. At that point I had to blurt out, "Ooops, I guess that was inappropriate. Sorry!"

My husband had a good time chiding me about that one.

Earlier this week I attended the moving-up ceremony for my son and there was a classroom party afterward. I stuck close to the wall, too embarrassed to talk to the teacher.

I didn't think it was such a terrible question either, which is why I asked it! Then my husband points out that in one sentence I managed to be ageist and -- I forget the other thing he said.

Thank you for this thread! I had my annual review at work and I needed a good laugh!

I love that moment of realization when you see that the reaction means something you said must have been off, but you have no idea what!

I once spent some time telling my new boss about how much everybody hated the company-built software we had to use for knowledge sharing.
I was very direct and mentioned the wide number of criticisms of the system that I had heard from all parts of the firm. I suggested that the interface was really useful as an example of what not to do. Then I noticed that everyone else had fallen completely silent.

Yes, you guessed it: my new boss had designed that system!

That was a fun year. (sarcasm)

I can only conclude that they think the teacher is ugly.

I don't get it, whats the problem? Why did they go silent? Sorry I'm an aspie not a parent, wandered into the wrong forum. I don't know what long uncomfortable silences mean in various contexts.

Yup, I concur that you didn't say anything that bad - and to answer SkipNip's question - I'm guessing the adults incorrectly associate a preference for a young, beautiful woman with something that leans towards sexual, which is of course ridiculous in a small child.

I think the silence was them experiencing cognitive dissonance sorting that out. NTs can be weird..

Too much effin PC all over the place!

There was nothing ageist or sexist, about any of this.

Your son would have loved Miss Crabtree, from the Little Rascals!

I had many crushes on teachers; some of them were middle-aged LOL

If people got their boxers or their panties in a knot over what the kid said, then society's really having problems!! !!

Having puppy-love crushes on teachers is how kids mature into healthy adults.

This is thread is my favorite thing this week!

And I am so happy you wonderful people are out there. It is nice to share this awesome skill with someone!

It's totally appropriate to describe a child's behaviors at a school meeting. You weren't saying that you personally endorsed your son getting a young and pretty teacher, just that you've noticed his interest (which is very common and nothing to be ashamed of). I think the awkwardness was probably more on their end, because they didn't want to start physically describing their colleague when she wasn't present. If I were at that meeting, I'd probably respond with something along the lines of "Yes, we've noticed his interest in pretty girls too" or "I think he likes her because she is always so cheerful and friendly with him." There are ways to side-step the awkward part and still respond.

I've had those sorts of conversations with teachers as a colleague, but I think there's a level of formality that teachers put on with parents and they didn't know how to address what you said while remaining formal. So I don't think you made a mistake at all there; the people at the meeting just didn't know how to handle it.

Yes, my point is that to the child it's an innocent preference - but in general, when a woman's youth and looks come up in adult conversation the connotation is different.

I'm not saying that anybody thought anything upsetting - just that it took a moment for the adults in the IEP team to adjust their internal associations with that particular collection of words. I'm fairly certain they understood exactly what mikassyna meant, but the mental picture they normally associate with those words did not jibe with her meaning. The silence was probably them re-adjusting their associations (in a lot of situations that are less charged, this kind of dissonance is usually followed by a pause and then laughter, but I'm guessing the IEP team didn't want to risk offending anyone by laughing.)