Gift Shop Anxiety

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First a little bit on my daughter: she's 5 (almost 6) and we are on the waiting list to see a specialist. For now she is diagnosed with Aspergers and high anxiety but it's just a temporary diagnoses. She's also the youngest so she craves some of the freedoms/older girl stuff that her sisters have gotten with their ages.

We make a point when we first move somewhere (military) that we explore the area. This involves going to museums which of course have gift shops. This year has been especially rough. Sometimes I just pick something for them (like when we went to the La Brear Tar Pitts) because I know ahead of time exactly what would be really cool. However if we are going somewhere and I'm not sure of what they have I will give the girls guidelines for picking out something. We do not always get something at the gift shops.

My littlest has been having problems with picking things out on occasion. If they have something trex then she goes straight to it which is always best. But if there isn't something that catches her eye right away she starts getting anxious. Last time we did the gift shop thing she started bunching up her hands, rocking slightly, and she was just about to have a meltdown. It took over 30 mins to pick something and we almost had to leave without since the museum had already closed. She was so anxious that she started shaking and I don't want to put her in situations where that keeps happening (which its been happening more often)

We've had this problems at stores before also but at least there I know what's available every time and she isn't allowed o spend her money at specific stores anymore for this reason (once she is older we will reevaluate). We also don't let her take her actual money anymore. She just pays me back later.

I'm just not sure what to do. I supposed I could just limit her to a pencil or postcard but she doesn't want those things. She wants the shiny rock, or the fake fossil, or the hedgehog lipgloss. Something that she picks. Plus it would not be fair (something she's very worried about) if her sisters get to pick what they want and she gets a much narrowed choice. We talked about just not doing gift shops anymore at all but they always love their little treasures after.

What can we do to help her not have such anxiety picking out something in the store?

Maybe she could point out two or three things she likes, and let you decide which one to buy? Or the opposite of that - you point out two or three items and she picks one.
I think she may be getting overwhelmed by the number of options.

^^This. Gift shops tend to be small, cluttered, and chaotic environments so it may be hard to pick out certain things out of all the visual "noise". Do any of these shops offer wares online? If not shopping online, then just being able to peruse online before your trip may be a better option.

This sounds like a really good idea. If you do it, though you have to keep in mind the item may not be in stock when you get there, and you would have to prepare her, and have her prepared for a Plan B, like ordering the item online or having an alternate choice.

My son has issues with indecision, sometimes, and I think it is worth attempting a conversation with her about it, when it is not currently in play to see if she can give you insight as to any specifics that might help you help her. better.

It takes my son forever to choose something at the store when given money as well- at any store. Sometimes he wants me to narrow it down for him, and that helps. He shows me different things he likes, I pick two of them, and he chooses from that. It shortens the time considerably, although sometimes it still takes a while. These types of decisions make him anxious, and while he doesn't want me to choose for him completely, he doesn't want as many choices as he has. Maybe note what she is looking at, and then pick two things and give her the choice between them?

I was like this when I was a kid. It got to the point where I would go in. Be a vibrating mass of indecision. One parent would take me out. The other would buy ONE of the items I was fretting over. For us, that worked. Thankfully, my daughter doesn't have this issue. She either doesn't care, easy, or she is able to pick an item. She doesn't always pick something worthwhile, but she's able to get to a decision.

Thank you all for the ideas and tips!

We have found that alot of her anxiety can be relieved these days by showing her places we plan to go online or by looking at what she wants online first so we can discuss it. We also don't just let her go out to the store anymore without having an idea (except Target...they have a good selection of different plastic dinosaurs for cheap usually). Gift shops are just hard since usually we can't see what they have online except for the really expensive stuff or kits.

She likes the idea best of her picking out a few things and then one of us parents making the final choice. I think the problem is that she has such a hard time with picking just one. We've learned that if she's to get something we have to tell her right when we are doing it or she will stew on it which makes her more anxious about having to pick once we get to the shop. Unless we know exactly what she's getting, then it goes smooth.

It used to be so much easier to buy her something when she was little. She would have one thing she wanted. If it wasn't there then she wanted nothing. Now her interests have spread out a bit and she loves little things so she has a much harder time. Though it does make Christmas/ birthdays a lot easier since we have a selection of things she wants compared to just one specific thing.