Teen Second Life Addiction

Post Reply New Topic

Hi...Is anyone experiencing this with their teen? Second Life is an online virtual world and it is all consuming to the exclusion of everything else. Worse than any past interest. Of course we can just disable the internet connection, but we are taking "baby steps" so there is not a full blown melt-down.

Unfortunately not having to deal with that yet... still get confused going on there... not sure how anyone can form an addiction to it.

I got that with World of Warcraft. Fortunately I'm playing the free trial over reading week and it expires when I have to start doing work again.

Someone can form an addiction because they become so engrossed and hyper focused on the virtual world that it can become their real world. Not that different from a drug or alcohol addiction. Add being an Aspie to that equation and it multiplies in intesity.

Why do you call it an addiction?

Does the child play it 6 or 7 hours a day???

Perhaps the child treats second life as an extension of their fantasy world.
On the other hand, he might have friends on second life that he lacks
in the offline world in which case cutting off his access would be very counterproductive.

I think the first thing you need to do is TALK to your child,
have them explain their interest in second life to you.

As obsessions go...second life is generally not bad.
It costs no money, it has no violence to speak of,
it has people on it who are aspies and autistics

Yes, it is an addiction. 6 or 7 hours per day??? I wish. The child has been up all night, sometimes on 12 or more hours per day, stopped doing school work, stopped caring about looks and family members and friends, shakes when we disable the internet. My child does have freinds the "real world"..... Not a lot of friends, but important and caring friends....but losing them now because of SL. And lost interest in anything else. It a current obsession that is more like an addiction...using any excuse to be on Second Life.
It is counter productive because nothing else matters right now. So in that respect, it is bad. I know it does not cost anything and many Aspies are on it, but this is too much.
We are working with a professional to overcome this obsession.....I look back over past obsessions and I miss them because they were fit into other important things in life. And we have talked and talked and talked to understand our teen's point of view and desire to be on Second Life. We are not against Second Life per se, but for some people it CAN become an addiction.
Also, thank you for your suggestions. I do appreciate it.

well perhaps you could point out to your son ( I think you said your son, sorry if not) that this game is good now but how will he get a job of he dosnt do his schoolwork, you probably need to talk about it until he has rrealised he is playing too much you can really start to fix the problem.

It is a source of interaction. Used in moderation, it can be a benefit. (After all, Second Life isn't all that much more than a glorified chat room. A chat room is a fancy, real-time version of a forum. Like this one.) Excess is bad in any circumstance. Try to frame it that way in talking with your kid.

If that doesn't work, make it clear that Second Life, computers, internet connections, etc, are not a guarantee in life, but require some form of work to produce the necessary finances to provide for such luxuries. If even that doesn't work.... sever the connection. Give a bit of a system shock.

The computer i think is a brilliant resourse but you must make sure to monitor what your kids are doing as there are loads of peadofiles going around. If you get what i mean though i think more that its a case that its the only way aspies feel comfortable chatting

I have a younger brother who is severely addicted to a computer game. If given the chance he will play it all day and all night. When my family would go out for excursions to a restaurant he would refuse to come, he would just ask us to bring him something back for him to eat (which he would eat while playing). He has gained quite a bit of weight. He becomes furious if my parents yank the cable and hide it, which they sometimes do, but never for very long because they give in to his pleading. He gets mad whenever anyone else even wants a turn on the computer. My parents never got another computer or wireless internet connection for the household, because they knew he would be on that game every waking hour he possibly could if they got that.

And he's an NT! This is not just an aspie issue.

Because of this I never really got to learn much about computers because this made access for me almost impossible to obtain. It's still going on, my parents are too wussy to just make him stop. Don't be like my parents, lay down the law. It will not get better on its own, it is an addiction, and like smoking, it will take a lot of effort to break.

I would liken the Second Life interaction to a coffee shop session. No one stays in Starbucks overnight. Yeah, I used to spend 4-6 hours in them, when I was in college and had the time. But a teen who is neglecting other activities is in serious trouble.
I would limit the time to 2 hours maximum, maybe an hour in the afternoon. No more. and serious consequences if he can't comply.

My son is only 4 & is crazy about Club Penguin, which is like a tot version of Second Life. I utilise this as an educational tool. In just a few months, he is now able to read most of the instructions on the site & is learning basic arithmatic by earning coins & buying things for his penguin. He's learning far more this way than he would from a more formal educational setting. I think it's a marvellous site! However, because of his age he doesn't spend more than about 30 minutes to an hour on it at a time before he moves onto something else. I do think spending all night playing a game is a sign of addiction. I'm a NT & often get an addiction to certain games on the computer. I've even spent a couple of "all nighters" playing in my lifetime.

searching4info,

I think most of us didnt understand what you meant by addicted. It has been such an overused
term. However your clarification was helpful. You have already decided that it is an addiction.

I remember that I used to stay up all night on the computer...so 12 hours a day is not surprising.
Dont try to overcome the obsession...use the obsession to achieve what you want for him. It is the intellectual version of judo...using the force of the obsession to your advantage instead of confronting it directly.
He does need clear rules...
This secondlife can be used as a means of enforcing those rules.

1) No secondlife after school until all school work is done AND he has taken his daily hygeine break(shower, teeth brush,etc)...
2) No secondlife after 11 pm .
3) No secondlife during dinner time

Once you get him sleeping at a normal time, eating regular meals and
bathing again then you can work on the broader social issues.


Also you might want to consider, It is possible something has happened in his school life, that playing secondlife is like a replacement for the life he feels he doesnt have. There is also the possibility that hes not losing his friends because of secondlife but he spends so much time in second life because hes lost his friends.

Get them away from the TV and computer!! !

The worst thing an aspie kid needs is fake social education... it will stick with them for life.

If they muust play games.... the old school single user games are better: they only teach hand eye co-ordination.

Whatching TV is what put detriment to my social vocabulary.... it's all fake (sometimes something can be learnt, but by judging on what on TV today I highly doubt Telitubbies is going to teach anything 'normal')


-My first computer as an aspie was an old DOS BOX --- this is the best thing your kids can take away from a computer - atually haing to have to learn to use it. - have you considered getting rid of Windows and switching to Linux (Ubuntu is te easisest to use) - it will give your kids the power to learn something.

-oh as an aspie kid I wasted an entire year of my life on a Sega Master system playing Alex Kid - what did I get out of it?

i know it's hard to set limits once the problem is already as difficult as the one you face....is there a doctor or someone outside of the family who can help you discuss this with your son...ie; too much computer time is unhealthy , and we love you & want you to stay healthy.therefore, we'd like to help you help yourself to set some limits.this won't mean that you have to totally give up the computer~just reduce the amount of time you play by x amount of hours.
it also helps to know what sort of bargainer he is . ( you:"only 2 hours on the computer"..him:" i think that 4 hours is sufficient as long as i've completed chores."), OR ( you: " only 2 hours on the computer"...him:" F@#!, not listening....slams things etc), OR somewhere in between the extremes.........
i'm not above bribing son at times with rewards for improved behavior...and as he's 15 without a job or money, it's not too hard to encourage him to do what i need him to.now, i'm not saying it's always appropriate to pay off your kid....just that rewards can work with teens if you know what reward works for them.
when we first started a reward system for reduced computer time, we were very specific to tell him what he would receive if he stuck to his schedule & reduced the amount of time he played ( his specific rules were: you need to get off the computer if mom needs to check her email, you are not to play more than 4 hours a day. You cannot hit or damage the computer or computer table in any way~this will result in having to get off the computer IMMEDIATELY.)
we started with a ticket system. we purchased a cheap roll of raffle tickets. every time he listened when he was asked to get off of the computer , he was given a ticket to put in a jar. once he reached 10 tickets he got a reward ~usually something off the $ menu at the local fast food place....he was also told that he could save his tickets until he got to 25 & he'd get a Value Meal at the local fast food place. sometimes he chose the $ menu, & other times he chose the Value Meal. The best part was that he felt like he had some control over the situation.
hope this helps

the reward system --- we are not cats or dogs (aspie children)

Humans don't work to the reward system.

-I shouted and slam doors, busted windows, swore etc to my parents (though only to my parents - I wasn't ADD)

-My parents reaction to me misbehaving when I was young was to punish.... Kneeling in a corner for housr on end as a juvi taught me I had done wrong. An aspie child should be able to kneel for hours just to make the piont that that they were right and every one else is wrong.... soon they will realise that if they are kneeling alot... maybe they are wrong.

-It's too late to punish for computer usage..... instead I think it's time to pour some water on the Playstation, or take the PC to 'get it repaired'
-This solves the problem of you as a parent looking bad.

-As an aspie parent it's better to pretend you are poor!