If neither of you has pursued a DNA test, and you therefore do not have a relationship (emotionally or financial ) with the mother or the child) and everyone is happy that way, then I am not sure what a disclosure would accomplish. I don't know at what probability either of you place your paternity at, but heritability is not 100%. Even if you were sure you were the father, ASD/ADD is not a certainty for the child.
It is a complex issue and you did not ask about anything else having to with the other aspect, so that is why I did not directly address other issues. I don't know how old the child is, whether someone else currently has father status in the child's life or any of the other issues surrounding the situation which might make things even more complicated than it sounds.
Edited for syntax.
Last edited by ASDMommyASDKid on 26 Aug 2014, 5:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.