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RightGalaxy
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25 Aug 2014, 7:55 pm

My son who is now 15 used to tell me what he liked as a child but with a question. He'd say something like, "Do I like chocolate ice cream, Mommy?" instead of "I like chocolate ice cream". Then he'd stim by flapping his hands and contorting his face.
Now at 15, he'll say, "Do I want to be an ultrasound tech, mom?" It's no big deal but it just makes me worry even more about him. I'd feel better if he'd just say, "I'm thinking about being an ultrasound tech. What colleges offer this? He still stims but it's concealed more especially in his facial expression. He holds down his arm while the fingers flap after he asks these types of question - which are actually statements. I guess this is textbook aspie behavior??



kraftiekortie
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25 Aug 2014, 8:07 pm

This might not seem like it would be likely:

I'm thinking he's quite shy, somehow, quite concerned about your reaction.

Maybe he's hesitant, in some way, about expressing a commitment for something in speech--like he was when he was younger.

His stimming, perhaps, is an expression of his concern about your reaction. I know this doesn't make much sense, since your son would know, intellectually, that you would be proud if he wanted to be an x-ray technician. This is something which is deep-seated, and perhaps should addressed in some sort of therapeutic situation.



nerdygirl
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26 Aug 2014, 5:59 am

I have noticed among some people, including myself, that it feels very vulnerable to say what we like. I do not know if it is an Aspie thing.

But, to phrase it in the form of a question sort-of deflects that vulnerability. I would say this behavior is anxiety-related.

By declaring what one wants/likes, one is taking the chance of getting rejected. I can't tell you how many times I have said "I like this", only to get a reaction of "Eeew, why would you like that?" or "That's stupid." It is MUCH easier to say what one doesn't like - then one is doing the rejecting and remaining in control of the situation.

I also find that the deeper the desire, the harder it is to talk about. I would take these questions as a sign that your son wants to talk about these things but is nervous.



YippySkippy
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26 Aug 2014, 10:25 am

Quote:
"Do I want to be an ultrasound tech, mom?"


This sounds like a phrasing I would have heard in Ireland. The meaning would be, "Do you think this career would be a good choice for me?"
I have heard of people with ASD using foreign accents. Perhaps your son is using a foreign style of phrasing.



ellemenope
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27 Aug 2014, 2:03 am

My son is only 4 but he does this sometimes too.
For him, I think it is an echolalia thing- he started out asking for things by repeating our questions- "Do you want some water?", then that turned into "Do I want some water?" Now he mostly will say requests properly but this still pops up occasionally.



ASDMommyASDKid
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27 Aug 2014, 6:26 am

ellemenope wrote:
My son is only 4 but he does this sometimes too.
For him, I think it is an echolalia thing- he started out asking for things by repeating our questions- "Do you want some water?", then that turned into "Do I want some water?" Now he mostly will say requests properly but this still pops up occasionally.


My son never did the "Do I want some water." It was always "Do you want some water?" (when he wanted water) You are right that the first sentence is basically echolalia, too, I think.