"Please Segregate My Special Needs Child"

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eliot-bor ... 07988.html

Any thoughts?

I had full seclusion and hated every minute of it. My family couldn't get me out of it, because my parents couldn't speak English well enough. Every child deserves a chance at inclusion. Even if they have some issues they can go to a resource room, get pulled out for a while until they calm down.

"Louis, along with many of the children who attend his private school for children on the spectrum, cannot tolerate crowds. Noise reduces him to tears, while bright lights leave him disoriented. " This was me. Did you ask the kid whether they wanted to be secluded? What's wrong with him going into the hall when he has an issue like having a time out, and discipline, until he is able to do it?

What about when people are older? Will these NTs and NT parents be able to deal with being around autistic adults, working and living with them? Or will they demand that more severe autistic adults be "secluded", like in the days of permanent institutionalization?

I was mainstreamed all the way and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I can't relate to any of the quoted text at all. I didn't have sensory problems other than food. The only problem I had in school was that I needed more help in math, which is no different from pupils with dyslexia.

For me it would have been terribly detrimental and nothing else to be put in spec ed. I am so glad I grew up before AS became an official diagnosis! Maybe there are some aspie children who could benefit from it, but I wasn't one of them.

I happen to agree.

I think that the pressures and demands of an inclusion or mainstream environment may be too much for some kids and I don't think it is fair to subject them to that because parents/educators/regulators have adopted this notion that "separate is bad."

"Separate" and "inclusion" are neither "good" nor "bad" IMHO. They are either "appropriate" or "inappropriate."

It should come down to what a kid needs. Not what the parent or school district wants. If accommodations can be made to successfully put a kid into the mainstream population, then I think the SD is obligated to do so. But if--even with accommodations--the kid is overwhelmed in a mainstream environment, they should not be forced to endure it to satisfy someone's sense of "fairness" or unbendable belief that somehow "separate" is bad, less than, cruel, or humiliating.

I think this is a pendulum swing kind of thing. We used to be at the one extreme where all kids with special needs, regardless of what was really appropriate for them, were shoved into secluded classrooms. Now we are at the other extreme where there is a belief that all special needs kids, regardless of what is really appropriate for them, are forced into a mainstream setting. I have more than one friend who has had to pull their kid out of the school system all together because of this kind of stuff.

And while I used to not believe in homeschooling, I now recognize that sometimes that is the appropriate setting.

We need to focus on what the kid needs to be successful and feel safe/comfortable, not the ideologies of the adults in their lives.

From my son's experience, I actually agree with the article. The opposite of inclusion should not be full seclusion, but rather a special class tailored to the child's needs.

I really don't think it's possible to make enough accommodations in a class of 24 typical children for my son to be successful. Between needing to jump on a trampoline every 25 minutes, to needing a dyslexia-specific reading program, to needing reduced writing requirements, to handling the occasional outburst, to tolerating excessive movement during circle time/class meeting, to needing extra social skill instruction, to difficulty working independently, to needing extra support with organization, to sensory issues with walking in line and sitting at a lunch table, to dealing with the embarrassment of leaving for speech and OT, and most importantly, hating being singled out as different by having aide support or a different work packet, a mainstream classroom was a disaster.

But put him in a class of 10 where the other kids have similar issues, and he is thriving -- happy, social, mostly well-behaved, and learning. His only complaint is that he wishes there were 15 kids instead of just 10 so he could have more friends. My only complaint is that I think they could push a little harder on the academics.

I would love to see whether a "reverse inclusion" class would work for him -- say 15 kids with half typical and half needing extra support. And I would love for the class to be in an actual elementary school (instead of at a therapy center), perhaps paired with a typical class during parts of the day. But sadly there doesn't seem to be any middle ground available between mainstream with pullouts and special day class.

Staff at my elementary school wanted to segregate me, but my parents wouldn't let them. My test scores were too high for them to do more than suggest it to my parents.

I started school for the very first time part way through the second grade. My meltdowns led to my mom being accused of child abuse; I remember her sitting me down and schooling me on what to say to a social worker, but I don't remember ever actually being interviewed.

I couldn't handle being mainstreamed and really wish my mom had let them segregate me, instead of pulling me out of school twice, because it wasn't good at home. If it had been good at home, homeschool would have been good.

She was being accused of abusing me because I have serious and undiagnosed sensory processing disorder, and faceblindnes. I struggle with both to this day.

I had absolutely no interest at all in making friends in school. Mom tried to force me to and it was traumatizing for me. I wish she had let them isolate me because in reality, I was extraordinarily isolated anyway; absolutely nothing but TIME could have helped. I started getting interested in people around age 11 or 12, but by then I was so traumatized by being forced to play with other kids that I didn't even know how to approach them, and I was further isolated.

I should have been fully segregated in elementary school. I wish I had been.

HOWEVER, if anyone had asked me, I would have given whatever answer they seemed to want, because answering loaded questions with the desired answer was as far as my social ability got in my first decade of life. You can't just ask the kid what the kid wants, you have to be the grownup and make a decision for them.

Last edited by AmethystRose on 15 Sep 2014, 3:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with Zette and InThisTogether. I think there are kids for whom inclusion is not the answer. I wish our district had something in the middle. They have inclusion and SPED, with the only middle ground being a time split between the two. There was no way to fully access a mainstream academic curriculum through seclusion. So you have a choice between shortchanging your children academically and torturing them all day in an environment that is not appropriate. This puts a hugely unfair burden on the child to behave appropriately under conditions that may make it impossible to do so.

I didn't believe in homeschooling, either, and guess what I am doing? Homeschooling.

The question they should be asked themselves is whether segregation is actually a solution or just trying to hide symptoms of the problem. There is a strange notion that somehow society thinks that people with autism do not need social interaction, friendship, companionship, love and sense of belonging. The proven and best solution has always been a school or class specially for autistic children, but unfortunately in many cases this is not economically viable. Sometimes I wish all the money wasted on Autism Speaks would instead be spent in ventures like this that actually directly help children with autism develop better socially and give them a childhood they deserve instead of isolation and frustration.

You can't just segregate someone for his or her entire life, at some point he or she will need to earn your own money and at some point he or she will want more than just being lonely. The frustration from isolation and loneliness will just keep growing from puberty on and is for most of us something that only makes things worse and makes us psychologically more unstable. As a child you can still learn some social skills that you will need, even if it is hard. Even autistic people who haven't been segregated feel isolated and lonely already, just imagine how lonely it is if you are being kept away from society for your entire youth.

If anything I wish there were more resources for autistic people to socialize. Starting with a strict anti-bullying policy and making bullying against the law, so autistic children can learn to socialize without being harassed and punished all the time for trying. Then what I would love to see is way more places to socialize for people with autism or other disabilities. Think of regular meetings, special places to socialize, regular events and eventually guided dating and matching. Things would be a lot better if psychiatry focussed on bringing people together rather than just giving people a pill. If you are lonely and on medication you are still lonely, the depression is just suppressed. If you are not lonely and happy you possibly don't even need the medication in the first place.

I wonder if there is also a strange notion that somehow putting a child in a seclusion setting also takes away their potential for social interaction, friendship, companionship, love and sense of belonging? It's not like the kid is going to be locked in a room by themselves in the basement of the school...

ASDMommy...that is my biggest "beef" with the way most schools are set up. If the kid can't handle mainstream, their chance at receiving a mainstream curriculum goes down the drain. In some areas, you can't even get a regular HS diploma. That is a huge failure...to assume that kids who require seclusion cannot access the regular curriculum, even in a specialized setting. It's shameful and shows a basic lack of understanding of autism if you ask me. There are probably many autistics out there who cannot handle a regular curriculum in a mainstream setting because the competing demands of the social and sensory environment overwhelm them to the point where there is not enough left to focus academically, but if you took them away from the social and sensory demands, they could probably handle the academic ones just fine. I even suspect some of them would breeze through the academic stuff if the rest of if was out of the way.

qFox,

I don't think by seclusion the article is referring to literal solitary confinement. Schools don't have the resources (and never did) to give each child in SPED who was not mainstreamed a one on one experience. That is true even if they would have thought it was beneficial. In real life, it means that if you are lucky and the district had enough autistic children and chooses to, there may be a program with just autistic kids, but in a setting with fewer kids and a better adult to kid ratio. (I say adult not teacher, b/c often there are aides who are not teachers in the room as well.) Most places put all their SPED kids together regardless of diagnosis. Often they are mainstreamed for recess or gym.

InThisTogether:

Yep. Schools equate "smart" with being able to handle mainstream. They don't know what to do with kids who are "smart," but can't handle the social and sensory issues of mainstream. They will also often put kids who need supports in mainstream, who are quiet and well-behaved. They go by what box is easiest and cheapest for them to put a child into, as opposed to what is most appropriate for the child.

Exactly.

And that is going to vary by child.

The worst trap parents and educators can fall into is to start believing that there is a single answer for how to best help children who simply share a diagnosis, but may not share any other traits.

My son did best by being mainstreamed, I do believe that. But every child is different.

I was segregated by myself in grade school.
It was great for me.
No one in the school was like me to be segregated with me.

I think it should be based on the child's needs and it could go either way.

Our school district pushes mainstream. Really, really pushes it. My kids are both in an autism classroom this year (if school ever starts that is- the teachers are on strike over classroom composition actually). Both started in mainstream with disastrous results, and ended up in special ed. It was argued to me that they'd learn to be more typical by watching their typical peers, but that doesn't seem to be true. It seems that my children don't imitate other people- that's actually a large part of their problem with gaining skills I think. So I don't see them benefiting from the mainstream classroom.

For some reason, our school district picks gym as the included class. I've always thought that's the worst choice ever. The gym has horrible acoustics and has like 60 kids (they combine classes) running around kicking balls all over the place and screaming. Um..my kid has sensory issues. Of course that's not going to go well. What the heck??? When my son did that (2 years ago I think), they couldn't get him to stay in the gym unless he could sit in the corner with a blanket over his head. And they saw that as an accomplishment on their part (proudly told me in the IEP meeting that he was now staying in the gym!! !). I feel like when sitting the corner with a blanket over your head is an accomplishment because it's mainstream, being in mainstream is having too much value placed on it.

Stories like this break my heart. What a horrible way to treat and talk about a HUMAN.

Imagine if the instead of it being your son who couldn't be kept in the gym, it was a dog. Who would say the dog would benefit from being kept in a corner, covered up and and probably shaking, while chaos reigned and children screamed around him? People would say: That poor dog should be let outside! People would call it animal abuse. WTF.

I know, it made me sad too and I got him pulled out. He can't tell me what is going on, so I have to wait for them to tell me, and when they consider it to be a good thing, they won't tell me right away necessarily, so unfortunately that's what happens. They think it's good because they think of mainstream as the end goal. For me it's not. I know they're never going to be fully mainstreamed so I'd rather they learn singular skills rather than be mainstreamed for the sake of being mainstreamed. But our goals are not aligned...

I think it depends on the child. I needed inclusion because I couldn't be in a self contained room or it would not have taught me any social skills and how to behave. I was a kid who mimicked everything and modeled everyone and if I was taught something and then see another kid be allowed to break that rule, I would be confused and then think it was okay to do. Or if I had never seen a behavior and then witnessed it and there was no consequence, I would have found it okay to do. So I needed inclusion. I was also given breaks from class and when I was falling apart in 6th grade, I was taken out of school for a while and did my work at home. My parents refused to put me in any special school. Plus we moved to a small town there the schools were a lot smaller so there were less students and teachers weren't as overwhelmed by so many students and the principal. My parents found other options to help me.