A bit upset so posting

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Just caused a meltdown after a fairly peaceful period so a little sad I sm lucky my child is relatively ok a lot of the time but when it's bad it is bad I am sorry I haven't learnt to keep my mouth shut

It happens. Don't beat yourself up. Parents are not perfect. None of us are.

Thanks ASDmomASDkid
I just needed to say it somewhere, reflecting a bit I think I could have anticipated the meltdown better and we (my teenage daughter and I) have talked about it this morning and thought about strategies that might help next time.
so thank you
A

It should be remembered that the most NT of teenagers will invariably have meltdowns. That's par for the course.

I'm glad you both have the ability to communicate so well.

Could it be that, maybe, you didn't "cause" the meltdown? Maybe the meltdown was caused by stubbornness. It seems like your daughter might have had a realization--which is why she was willing to sit down with you and discuss the "better strategies."

Thanks kraftiekortie you may be right, but I think what happened yesterday was possibly that when she does not understand what is going on she panics and reacts with angry which blocks her understanding more and then unless I am careful I react also with anger and rise to it and the situation gets worse.
Because she has very good language it is easy to forget the challenges she has with social cues and the illogic of the world !

That's so great that you can sit and talk about strategies for the next time... Sounds like you have a great relationship! Can you text her right now and say you are proud of her for talking about it and having such good ideas?
J.

Thank you what a lovely idea sometimes I find I spend so much time correcting and worrying that I don't take time to say I love her as much as I should and I do