Teaching kids to answer questions

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I'm wondering if anyone has any novel ideas of things to try because I feel like this time he is so close.

My son's communication is not the greatest. He has very poor verbal skills for a 12 year old, but is fairly proficient with PECS. We're working on several avenues but he has regressed in the communication department several times, so we're always set back it seems.

One problem we have is that he does not answer questions.

Due to problems in communication it is hard to say where his receptive language skills are. I don't know if this is a receptive language problem, and it is possible that he just does not understand what he's being asked. ...But... sometimes his receptive language appears to be ok...

If I say "we're going to the park", he will go get his jacket and stuff, suggesting that he understands. If I say "we're leaving the park", he will often scream, suggesting that he really does understand what he's hearing. However, if I say "do you want to go to the park?" or "are you ready to leave the park?" I get NO reaction. I don't ask my kids questions if there is only one correct answer (if that's the case, I just tell them), so if I'm asking this, I really want to know if he's ready to leave (and sometimes he is). I feel like if he would answer my questions, we could probably avoid a good deal of crying.

He doesn't really pick options either. I mean he DOES, but he always picks the one on the right-hand side (if I'm using PECS) or he'll repeat whatever I say (Me: "Yes?", Him: "Yes", Me: "No?", Him: "No"). If I give him options, like I said, he picks the one on the right, and then sometimes that's actually not the one he wants. For example, I always give him 2 options for what to eat at breakfast- and sometimes he's happy with what I give him and sometimes he's not, depending on if I guessed correctly which option to put on the right. It's so frustrating! (But he does understand PECS- he requests things with PECS on his own at other times).

I don't have any tips, sorry. But, wanted to say that my 7 year old (who is very verbal) and will tell us what he wants, etc. is also really bad at answering questions. Sometimes he is fine, but often he will not respond at all. He also often will not respond at all when I walk into the room and start speaking to him.

My son definitely has some problems with auditory processing. He clearly is sometimes only processing part of what we say. Like, if I say: "If you don't stop you will lose your DS." He often will hear: "lose your DS" and flip out. But, like your son, there are many phrases he will totally take in. I'm wondering if "we are going to the park" is such a common phrase for your son that he always understands it now, but has a harder time with phrases he doesn't know by heart?

Also, maybe he has the receptive language, but the problem is putting together what he needs to do in order to communicate his response back to you, so his answers get lost in translation? Maybe this is also happening with the PECS? I don't really know what PECS is, but am assuming it is some sort of visual/ communication app. Maybe it is overwhelming for him to organize all the steps to communicate back and, out of frustration he is just picking the option on the right and hoping for the best.

Does he have a speech therapist, or someone assigned to help him with his communication?

My son also very rarely answers questions. He's hyperlexic and very verbal though - he talks nonstop, can talk for two hours without stopping, talks when we ask him to stop, interrupts us to talk, and gives us lengthy lectures on what we're doing wrong etc etc. But if we ask him a question he will often not hear or pretend to not hear, walk away, change the subject. When he does hear, it's just like what Fitzi said, he only hears part of what was said.

As a toddler he was diagnosed with apraxia of speech. He had no speech at all until age 3. Apraxia is a problem with speech in reply to something. The kids with it who actually start talking can talk at will but can't answer questions.

What he learned to do at around age 5 is just talk non stop to avoid the uncomfortable situation of us asking him a question. He does have moods he gets in where he can have a really good discussion where he actually gives thoughtful answers to what's asked. These moods or instances are almost always only when we are in the car or when I'm sitting with him at bedtime, like he's trapped with me and doesn't have much else going on to divert his attention. He's very good at answering strangers in evaluation situations but his classroom teacher noticed in fourth grade that once comfortable in a situation he sort of zones out and becomes very unreliable about answering. In general he mostly acts like he doesn't hear us. Under stress he's almost normal in all respects - communicative, helpful, organized (stress like a bleeding horse or a dog with a potential broken leg - not stress like he spilled his milk, as he's completely awful in those situations where he's done something, and at those times he just screams and points and can't even get a paper towel.)

So, I dunno. What happens if you ask open ended questions like "what should we do next?" Does he "hear" you better if you ask a question that's very interesting, like "should we have pie or ice cream?"

It's kind of good to know that other people have this problem (I mean not that I'm glad that your kids do, but you know...). Thanks.

He gets speech-language therapy 3X a week, and communication skills are worked into every therapy he gets realistically (which is 7 hours/wk of other therapy in total). They all use PECS as well, and also at school. He's been using PECS for about 9 years now so it's not a new concept, although he didn't really "get it" until about 3-4 years ago. With the PECS, they are physical cards and he just has to touch the card that has his desired option. That's the beauty of it; it's not complicated. He is able to show me which card he wants if he initiates the interaction- so sometimes he comes to me and hands me a card that says what he wants on it.

He's much more likely to respond if there's a known noun in it, rather than general like "what should we do next?" (to that, he would appear to have not heard me). With a q like "should we have pie or ice cream?" he would either ignore, or possible repeat the last part of the question "pie or ice cream?" It's not a confirmation though. If I say "should I cut your toe nails or brush your teeth?" (2 things he DESPISES) he would also say "nails or brush your teeth" (although "brush your teeth" is one of his favourite phrases [favourite phrase not favourite activity!] so he might get stuck repeating that over and over, but that's another story ).

Have you tried Verbal Behavior therapy? My daughter has been verbal for years now, but in the beginning, I credit VB with her gain in skills.

What happens if you intentionally do what you think is the opposite of what he wants? I'm just curious if there is a way that you can help him understand that by responding, he gets what he wants instead of what he doesn't want.

Coming at this from a totally different perspective, have any of you ever tried stating that you are asking a question? As in "NAME, I have a question for you, do you want ice cream?"

I'm pretty high functioning and it can still be hard sometimes to tell if people expect an answer or not.

Just a crazy thought.

Thanks.

Not anymore. I ditched all ABA two years ago because I didn't have enough money and I thought OT was the most important thing, so that's what I kept (plus swimming which is OT-ish). Now I have more money but I decided to put him into horseback riding which is so expensive it's just unbelievable. The SLT he gets is through the school/ I'm not paying...and it's really useless. I've been wanting to change the arrangements for a while now, but at the moment I'm stuck due to my job (refer back to me not having enough money ) so I'm feeling a little discouraged about this therapy situation. All that to say, I would like him doing VBT but it's not happening right now.

If I do the wrong thing, it depends how wrong it is, but usually he'll throw a fit. He's in a bit of a dramatic phase so he'll usually throw himself on the ground and wail for a minute or two. This breakfast about 50% of the time. He likes both of the options I give, but he has something in mind and then if I give the wrong one, that's no good... yet he continues to not answer the question...


I've never said "I'm asking you a question", but I usually also phrase it as a command (i.e. "Tell me which one you want." as opposed to "Which one do you want?"). It doesn't make any difference, but I'll try telling him that the question is for him to answer, thanks.

How much time does he get to answer a question?
If you request something yourself (using pics) you have like forever to think about it before you request it.

Maybe he does not understand the sentence inversion for questions.

We are going to the park.

Subject Verb Object variants with prepositional phrases and helping verbs might be clear enough

Do you want to go to the park?

Verb Subject Verb Object (These variants may be confusing)

I thought about this a lot.

With the PECS he always picks his choice really quickly. Too fast for me to even thinking about getting impatient. I was thinking why is this, and what I think is that they hurry this in SLT. One thing they do is say "1, 2, 3..." and at the end of 3 he has to pick, or else it's gone and marked as failure (not that he cares what is marked as failure but he has taught been taught to pick really fast). I don't do that, but that's where he learned mostly, and also honestly I'm not always the most patient person on the planet either...
ETA: the reason they do this, if he's just repeating the question incessantly, there's no purpose to that. They've said he's almost stimming with words. But I've been thinking maybe he needs to hear it a few times more to process it and understand and maybe that's why he does that.

Last night I made up a game where I offered to do things and he had to say yes and no to the question. Stuff like would you like a marshmallow (yes), would you like a raisin (no- he doesn't like raisins), do you want me to make the lego guy jump in the pool (yes), do you want me to put him away (no) etc. Tried to vary the type of question. It was all verbal. He was already in a good mood so he was responsive and I found that he did what he usually does at first... he would jut repeat parts of the question. "Do you want a marshmallow? Marshmallow. Yes or no. Do you want a marshmallow? Yes or no..." but I was thinking on this vein of being very patient so I did this for ages with him, just repeating the question. About 5 minutes of this and he said "yes marshmallow". It took a really long time for each one, but he ended up saying "no ...." as well. I was so impressed and pleased. A great success and he did actually seem to understand a lot. I wish I'd video taped to show his therapists. (But also kind of feeling like a terrible mother because if it's just that we don't give him enough time, that's so sad. )

ASDMommyASDKid- mm possible. He very rarely constructs sentences, but when he does, it's only two words, "want ____" or "yes _____", etc. He doesn't seem to understand personal pronouns at all. It seems like grammar would be low on the importance scale, but maybe it is impeding his understanding.

Maybe you could try to refer to yourself as "mom" (my mom used to do this when talking to me -- actually she did it for such a long time that she never really stopped entirely) and/or refer to your son by his name?

We do. We started a few years ago.

In the autism school I volunteered in, a child would repeat back the question. If you rushed him, he wouldn't respond but if given enough time on his own was very capable. So that's something to keep in mind.

Could you ask him "Do you want toast?" as a yes/no answer. Maybe he's getting confused with two options? Or alternatively, try making both foods and give him whichever one he touches, if he gets upset then help him give you the alternative PEC within the framework of "Do you want x or y?"

Some children at the school would only respond to very specific phrases, maybe he understands the process for asking for initiating with PECs, but not for responding.

I'm sorry I'm short on time right now and I haven't read all the replies, so if I'm saying anything redundant please forgive me.
I'm homeschooling my 4 year old aspie who is very verbal and really bright but he of course has difficulty with communication. I found this exceptional resource called "Teach Me Language" that is really useful for addressing specific problems and common issues with verbal communication. It's an expensive book, hard to find and you have to invest time in it but it is simply one of the best things I've found for working on communication with my boy. It's helped him immensely with answering questions and responding to other types of cues.
Also- for something cheaper, more accessible and perhaps with less investment of time, there is a pack of activities on Teachers Pay Teachers for teaching and practicing answering -WH questions specifically for autistic children. It's pretty good too. Here's a link - http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Wh-Question-Mega-Pack-925069 If you have a speech therapist maybe she or he could use this resource or you could work on it at home.

For yes/no questions when my son was younger we had yes/no cards and that was good practice. He didn't have to think of think to hard about what we were saying or how to respond as long as he understood the key words and when he saw the cards he knew that it was a yes or no answer. I think the game you described is really good practice too. Maybe he just needs lots of practice in low-stress situations. I picture a long complicated maze-like pathway from the ear through my son's brain to his mouth. I think it takes time and lots of practice for them to get how to deal with questions and even then they need lots of extra processing time.

With questions that I really need an answer to, I make sure I have my son's complete attention (he's always working on something in the background so this is the hardest part) and have him stop whatever his hands are doing. I don't demand eye contact or anything silly like that (that is distracting and uncomfortable for him and he can listen better when looking elsewhere). I say the question in the simplest way and WAIT for an answer. Sometimes it can take longer than you'd expect for an answer but it often seems he is really working through many different possible answers or something like that. Sometimes it seems he has to finish his other stream of thought before he can work through what I've asked him. He's like this with activities- he MUST finish whatever part he is working on before he can fully concentrate on something else. I think it's the same with his thoughts. And I'm realizing as he can kind of explain his thoughts now, that he always has some elaborate train of thought going on. A story sequence, or songs in his head, or imagining a picture or drawing, remember or mulling over something that happened or what someone said-always something. It's hard for him to break out of this deep thinking and address anything, a question or whatever. I'm the same with things that interest me.

I often practice common questions with him that we always ask and in the past I've given him answer choices in written form so he can choose one. This is great practice for all those everyday questions and it kind of teaches him "scripts" and set answers that he can easily remember instead of having to sort through his thoughts and put them together. He has a binder of these and sometimes he even flips through it when he's just farting around. I think it helps him store up all the language he needs to access at a moment's notice. He likes to read and is very visual so it helps him a lot.
We've been doing this kind of thing for a while and it really works. I'm my son's main teacher/therapist so we do this stuff together at home.

Hope some of this was helpful.