nothing to do

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My adult Aspie is on disability and has absolutely nothing to do all day. He gets so bored and lonely. His only friend who also is an Aspie has decided he doesn't want to spend much time with him. I don't know how to help my son find ways to occupy his time. He plays computer games a lot but even gets sick of that after while. I try to get him to try and introduce himself to others in his apartment building but his anxiety keeps him from that. Any suggestions?

I know many families with children on the spectrum that would benefit from personalized video clips for their children's development. Have you seen my video clips? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYc6IlHhZiloQDNYaE9WXJg Check out my website at http://www.eikonabridge.com/ as well.

Most parents have limited computer skills. I find it frustrating. Virtually all essential multimedia tools are free and publicly available. Yet when it comes to drawing pictures for their children, parents won't do anything. And their children just become underdeveloped, due to the lack of efficient communication between adults and children. We are in year 2015. We are not in 19th century. The fact that parents can't pick up new skills is truly frustrating to me. It tells me that we have a failed educational system: in the past, we never taught our children to teach themselves. You don't even need to be a teenager to be able to make animated video clips. You just need to know how to use a mouse and a keyboard. There are plenty of kiddos making video clips on the internet nowadays. Those kiddos never needed to take any course in multimedia production: they learned everything themselves through Googling. Yet parents are totally incapable/unwilling of doing the same.

To me, intellectual disability, sensory problems, social problems, all stem from underdevelopment. And underdevelopment stems from lack of communication. And lack of communication happens because nobody is talking to their children visually, like the way I do with my children.

I'd tell your son to check out my video clips, and let him teach himself about using MS Paint, GIMP, Audacity, EZVid, and the like. Learn to create animated video clips by using a camera and a tripod. Go out and hang around with families with children with autism. Make video clips for their children, draw pictures for these children, and help them with skills such reading, or math (e.g: word problems).

When enough people start to do that, and when enough people realize that that is the right way of dealing with autism and help children develop, more things can happen.

As for your son, you've gotta have faith. The brains of the children on the spectrum have more connections than the brains of neurotypical children. This means people on the spectrum are capable of learning and improving at any age. The problem is not with these children. The problem is with us, the adults. As a society we have failed miserably in communicating with our children. They are visual, but how many parents out there have talked to their children, visually?

Does he have any interests or skills that he wants to learn?
Even if someone is on disability, I don't think that they should stop developing some skills, even if they are not going to use them for a job right now.
Who knows, there might be unforeseen opportunities in future to use some skills.

I have often read of parents with adult children saying that their adult children do nothing all day, no social things either, no interests eggsept maybe video games. I wonder if being on disability takes away one's motivation to do things, even like pursuing interesting topics or learning skills. At first, when imagining being on disability, I would think that having disability and/or parental support means that one has plenty of time free from working to pursue an interest or skill, possibly one that might help oneself get off disability or become independent later, but this seems to be idealization in theory. In reality, it seems this is not the case at all, based on what others have reported.

Does he like museums some museums offer year passes
Does he like the library its free
What books does he like maybe he can join a book club
Does he like to cook maybe you can cook together
Some Major Hardware store offer classes some of these classes are free

What sorts of things interested your son? (especially when he wasn't struggling so much.) That's always a place to start: there are all kinds of groups of people who are interested in everything from video games to elevators to anime to trains to pets, and you can usually find them with a quick Google.

Have you told him about WrongPlanet? It's really a place for Aspies, us parents are kind of well-tolerated interlopers here. He might have luck joining the forums and finding advice from other people like him.

I appreciate all the feedback but I forgot to mention that we live in a very rural area of the midwest and there are no support groups or other activities for him. I said in a previous post he is denied services through the state because he is not considered developementally disabled. I am still working full time so I can't spend much time with him through the week. I reapplied for DD services again and he was denied again. I plan to appeal but I'm not hopeful. His anxiety is so high he can't do anything new alone I pretty well have to go with him and introduce things to him a few time and a lot of the time he doesn't like what I have him try. Yesterday his only friend and Aspie and him got into a huge argument and essentially my son will not be able to spend time with him any more. They used to spend most of everyday together. Now my son is completely lost what to do, and truthfully I don't know either. I'm getting burned out and don't know which way to turn now.

Yes, the same here, DD in her twenties, rural area, not even any decent public transport.
GP was so good to perscribe sleeping pills which she luckily stopped taking. Nothing wrong with her he said, once she gets a job, it will be fine. Which job, and how to get DD to start wanting to do something, anything ?
No use coming up with ideas, she'll say ok and don't do anything.

Traven: I feel your pain, if I figure anything out I'll share it.

Does he like to read, listen to music or watch movies/shows? Also not sure if this is an option but maybe a pet of some kind, that is if he could manage to take care of one...or maybe a support animal, but that kind of thing is not for everyone some people however find that kind of thing comforting.

Also does it seem like he wants to try introducing himself to people and maybe making friends, and anxiety is holding him back? There are treatments for anxiety that might help that aspect.

Also, if you can't find interest groups IRL, finding them online is at least a better option than just playing video games all day, IMO.

he can try to pick up some volunteering. this is a nice addition to his resume, should he try to get work again, and fills time nicely.
volunteers are always in demand in social institutions (cooks at homeless shelters, bringing around food in nursing homes, ordering books in libraries...), and therefor easy to get into.

Is there a town nearby? I know an adult on the spectrum who loves to walk around town. In good weather, his walks can talk 2-3 hours. If it were me I would stop afterwards and find a quiet table at the back of a café, but getting out and walking itself would be excellent. If you work in town, can you take him in with you and let him meet you to go home? Or could someone drive him in and pick him up?
Another thing I was thinking of was libraries. Many of us can spend hours in a library on a quiet day.

Can he pursue some online education?

Well, he got a cat and it's like he's a new man. His anxiety dropped to a very low level and his thoughts are clearer. It is just amazing. He's not so lonely and bored now. I hope it lasts and he gets to where he can try some other things.

Cats are the best.