Fear of the Future

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My son who is 16 will be finishing up sophomore year soon. He's talking about college and dorm life. I don't want to hold him back but I honestly wish he's go to a nearby community college and then transfer to a 4 year university. At a community college, he can change career plans without a hugh waste of money for the courses taken for something he may not want anymore.
I'm worried about him being duped, hurt, etc...if he lives away from home. He has some idea of how wicked this world is but he's hasn't got the whole picture. I can't picture him living on his own. Even now, I'm constantly chasing him around to do this, to remember that, etc.. I'm worried that he may not be able to do college-level work too. He has since dropped down from accelerated courses in high school to just plain academic. It took him from D's to B's. Anyone else thinking like this? I don't know how to advise him. He's considering nursing or some other health-related fields. Even if he were able to secure R.N. with a two year degree from a community college, I'll know that he is half-way there!! I'd would imagine that a 4 year university would "work-with" a person who holds an R.N. license already. It kills me to think that he would have to forget about "nursing" just because he might fail an advanced chemistry course that one might have to take to get a BSN. Do you know what I mean?

For nursing I would be concerned if he has executive function problems, because of the need to get things like medication doses and schedules correct. This seems like a pretty individual thing, but if he is have problems doing things and remembering things, nursing might not be the best fit.

I failed at nursing school I had clumsiness and I guess what you'd call executive functioning issues but I also didn't have proper therapy for many of my issues.

Also some states have tech high schools which may include nursing, nurses aids, chefs, and other courses.
While nursing might be hard there might be other courses that.

I already know my child is not college material and my child has stated as much.
My child would do better with something more hands on less homework.

First of all, believe it or not, your son will mature quite a bit over the next two years. And part of that maturation process will be getting a much more honest understanding of his own limitations and abilities.

Second of all, worrying is what all parents do, and while we often have more need to worry than most parents, there is a point where your child will need to be able to make his own mistakes, and most likely he will hit that point soon. I had to let go a while back and let chips fall as they may for my son; he needs that. There are multiple ways to learn in life, and multiple steps required to reach one's own maximum ability; we can't shelter them from the process forever, as much as there will be moments it will break our hearts to see the fall out.

There are college campuses with special services for ASD students that you can look into which will help soften the transition, and many ASD parents recommend requesting single dorm rooms (my son has opted to apply for a standard double, despite that advice). You can also look hard at how suitable each campus may be for your child when you start the touring process next year; whether or not you had otherwise planned to engage in that tradition, doing so will help your son get a better idea of what this all means.

A year ago my son wasn't sure he would ever be ready for college. 3 months ago he was ready to jump on an airplane and start a new life in Europe for college. Failing that, he was pretty determined to move across country. Today he is enrolled for the fall at a university that is an easy, short commuter flight from home, in our own state, where he will attend with several other students from his high school and plans to live in student housing. None of his best friends are going away at all; despite lofty goals last year, the rest of them decided they weren't ready to go, and will enroll at the local community college.

The process is difficult and scary but, as I've seen with my son and his friends, somehow most of them end up making a logical decision. But despite the roller coaster, it does have to be their decision. We do get to talk a lot, however, and sell I can't really tell you how to do that because your son isn't mine, but I do want you to know that I have very little fear today, despite having felt much like you do two years ago.

Just so you have all the info you need...many places are phasing out 2 yr RNs. I am not sure about the future of that as a profession.

I know someone who has AS and is an RN, so I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility. Her rigid rule following probably actually makes her job easier for her.

I am very worried about my kids moving away for college. I totally understand why you would want to have him nearby for the first couple of years of school. If I might suggest...I have friends of kids who are NT who feel the same way. Your concerns about him having a chance to really understand what he wants to do is a valid one in terms of $, and that is a valid concern to have regardless of neuro-type. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with requiring he complete his first 2 years at a local community college. Especially if you are footing the bill.