to medicate or not medicate? what is your experience?

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My son is almost 11. He has progressed very well socially and with life skills...considering. Meltdowns are few and far between as he has some better coping methods down and surprisingly enough he is doing great in sports, which helps socially I feel. However......learning is difficult.

Well let me rephrase that. I think learning isn't the issue, but demonstrating it in the traditional classroom environment is difficult. It's repetition that he doesn't think is necessary. It's too much sitting still except every little sound is distracting. It's worksheets and boring assignments. It's hard to do for 8 hours! He hates it. He feels dumb. He fights it all day. He does have an iep. He goes to a resource room 3 subjects and has accommodations. He did pass testing in 3rd grade but not in 4th grade. He is in 5th grade.

Let me tell you a little about him. He's diagnosed with AS. He will be independent one day and is generally blessed to be pretty adaptable. he's basically not the little professor type, but his wheels are 90 to nothing, physically and mentally. He needs strict expectations. He used to just get up and walk out of school, talks to himself nonstop in his own world, but also very here with us at the same time. I've seen him 'wont' do work as well as 'cant'. But no matter what. He is only in the moment with you and working on schoolwork about 10 mins at a time. That's the most his attention spans. I'm very conservative with medicine. He takes a non stimulant that helps him slow down enough to use the toilet and not his pants, it helps him sleep 8 hrs instead of 2. But as far as a stimulant to help him 'focus'. I feel so concerned of side effects that I can't bring myself to try it. It's a controlled substance with long term effects. But at the same time I don't want to keep him from a better situation should that be a good thing?

Does anyone feel like this but tried it? Is there an autistic/AS adult who wishes their parent did or didn't give it to them? I'm okay with his level of progress naturally...but he is expressing he is upset with his 'capability'. And his teachers of course say'focus, attentions blah blah' I just want to help him do his best. What say you??

Sorry for long post! Feeling crazy! Lol

I was misdiagnosed ADHD as a child and was on stimulants until I was old enough to put my foot down and refuse at age 13, which is probably telling as to how I feel about them. They made me physically feel terrible on a daily basis and they really only subdued me to a point where I looked like I was doing OK from the adult's view when I was not doing well at all. Lots of angry feelings involving this time, honestly. I had no voice in the matter as I was started on them young, but maybe your son is old enough to have some kind of input?

Stimulants have gotten a bad rap in the media and online. They are controlled substances for the same reason you can't get Sudafed off the shelf anymore, but have to go to the pharmacy window -- they are safe when used correctly but can be turned into addictive drugs by people determined to do so.

I would say it's worth a trial. These drugs work very quickly and exit the body within hours. Studies have not found long term effects (in fact for awhile they tended to emphasize that kids weren't "cured" of ADHD after using meds for awhile). If there are side effects that are unacceptable (appetite suppression is the most common, but some people do react badly emotionally), it's very quick to discontinue them and be back to normal within a day or so. A good doctor will start low, and go slow on raising dosages, so it can take a few months to find the right medication and optimal dose.

There are a lot of parents of kids with ADHD over at www.addforums.com, who say they were determined to try everything else first, and say that when they finally resorted to trying stimulants, they asked, "why did we wait so long?" I was initially skeptical of using ADHD medication, thinking they were over prescribed, but hearing this story over and over convinced me it was worth a try.

Our experience is that DS is definitely able to focus longer on medication. You can literally see the medicine take effect and wear off by the change from bouncing off the walls to being merely very active. Stimulants probably won't do much for the other issues you describe.

A good balanced book to read is Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons Medication Can't Teach by Vincent Monastra. He sees a place for meds, but only as part of a more comprehensive treatment plan.

Definitely have your son weigh in on this decision: his body, his life.

We considered medication in 4th or 5th grade when my son had the most trouble getting through his work load but, in the end, he decided "no." Instead, he kept trying other things and eventually settled on some that worked well enough for him.

The one thing my son does not ever want to change is the way his brain works. He is really proud of his thought process. He gets frustrated with the world, not the inside of his own head.

Definitely one key to help decide if medication will help is what, exactly, does the child feel the problem stems from. What medication will do is change what is inside his head; if that isn't what he wants changed, I wouldn't go that route.

Unless the medication is prescribed for life-saving reasons, I would seriously consider the risks of giving any child whose brain development isn't yet complete any medications for what could be a very long time. For example, a friend of mine who was prescribed lithium https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithium_%28medication%29 for 19 years (?!?) for bipolar disorder is now facing renal failure in her near future. After using SSRIs and statins for several years, I chose to stop the statins and titrate off the SSRIs several years ago. The side effects alone were difficult, and the results were minimal (even if we believe their promotions and ignore the unflattering research).

Good luck.

It's good that you're conservative with medicine. I've had some bad experiences with medication. For years I was on an antipsychotic. It was a powerful sedative that made me feel exhausted all the time. While suffering under this exhaustion I got bad grades in school and dropped out of college. I was on the stuff for so many years I didn't even know the pills were making me exhausted. I think I was just inherently like that.

I went off them recently and started to feel a bit better but I don't know if I can ever get my life back on track after more than a decade of going through life in a daze.

I would not say that all medications are bad, just that the greatest caution should be exercised while using them. If you put your son on medication, watch him like a hawk to see if he gets better or worse. Since the same medication can affect different people in different ways, the best course may be trial and error.

Same thing happened to me. Those stimulants made me act up worse than usual. Shame I couldn't keep my cool on them because I could've used some extra energy later in life. I was prescribed the exact same thing last year for unrelated reasons and felt great (didn't lose my cool this time).

I used to love those stimulants. Wish I had some now. But I couldn't handle them very well when I was a kid. It probably wasn't very responsible for a pediatrician to prescribe speed to a 7 year old.

If you do go the medication route watch out for the side effects, weight gain, drying out hair etc. and be prepared to stop and don't hesitate if you see any reason to be concerned. It is amazing how the human body can be so badly ravaged by such small pills. I prefer to be un-medicated as I have too many bad experiences, the issues may have more to do with issues concerning my own body though so it may be worth a try especially at 11 years old. Just be careful.

I have not read the replies, so sorry if I am repeating or speaking out of sequence, or if the thread has moved past the original post.

My son has NLD (looks Aspie-ish) and ADHD.

I was one of those parents who felt kids were overmedicated and that parents wanted to jump to pharmaceuticals as an easy answer to a complicated neurobehavioral issue. To be truthful, I still kinda do. I refused stimulants the first time they were offered, and avoided going to the neurologist afterward so I could avoid the lecture about how much my son needed meds.

Then, he "crashed." He became increasingly aware that he wasn't like other kids, that he actually bothered other kids, and that he "couldn't behave" no matter how hard he tried. He had no impulse control and for as sweet as he was, he was so intrusive that the teacher had to move him every week so that the kids wouldn't get burnt out on him. He was crying all the time, begging me to tell him why he wasn't like the other kids. It was heart breaking.

And then I realized...my ideological stance on medicating kids--and stimulant meds in particular--was getting in the way of me helping my son. He was miserable. His impulsivity and intrusiveness was affecting his relationship with his peers and his inability to focus was affecting his ability to learn.

I took him in and had him start a trial of medication. We started over Christmas break and I did not tell the school when he went back to school. I told myself that if no one noticed, we would take him off the meds. Boy, did they ever notice. Everyone wondered what happened during Christmas break because he was like a completely different kid. That was the school's report, when they knew nothing about the trial. So, I believe the improvements were not just in my head or due to a teacher's wishful thinking. They were real.

I still don't like the idea of my kid being on meds. And I still think that many parents jump to it as an easy solution. And I still think that there are many kids who are overmedicated. However, none of those things changes the fact that some kids need--and benefit from--medications.

I will let you know finding the right balance is important. If my son's dose gets too high, he is a bit spacey and zombie-like. But when things are well balanced, that isn't true at all. He is him. Only more him, because all the impulsivity and other stuff doesn't get in the way. He is funny, engaging, clever, and kind.

His story may not hold true for your son, but you can always give it a try and see what happens.

We didn't want to give our child medicine but when we finally did it made the classroom problems nearly disappear. The side effects are minimal.

My son is ASD and ADHD. He is on a stimulant medication. Based on experience, he definitely needs it to be able to be successful in school.

However, one thing you should be aware of is that some stimulant medications can cause mood swings, particularly when the medication wears off. We've recently had to change his medication to one less likely to cause mood swings because the evening meltdowns were quite problematic. But like I said, in our case, it is worth it to find the right med for him, because it is the difference between him getting A's and B's, and him failing and the resulting self-esteem issues that causes.

We turned to medications when my son's behaviors began to include aggression (such as biting, scratching) toward others, both at home and in school. I've fought to keep the doses down but I dare not fully take the reigns given the potential for withdrawal or risking the ire of the professionals who also answer and report to the depart of welfare.

Thank you everyone for your perspective. I just wanted to post an update on our experience so far.

As I said I was considering a stimulant to help with adhd symptoms in school. I talked with my son and he did express he hears everything in the hall and everyone breathing and talking etc so his distractability was overwhelming and he said he wanted to try it. I told him to make sure to tell me how it makes him feel. We tried the smallest dose of concerta. And I have to say it's changed his life in school. He said to me 'I'm so happy'. he is in 5th grade and could only do maybe 3 math problems that are one step and now he can complete 20 multi step problems. He feels so much more confident which really means a lot.

He has no side effects besides decrease appetite which he makes up for at night. He doesn't take it on weekends by his own choice and he doesn't have any crash or emotional side effects either. So far I'm so relieved we tried it and I'm also glad I waited all this time. It means a lot that he can give me input on his progress and how he's feeling. It may not be something he takes forever hopefully, but I feel comfortable with the benefits vs risks right now and let's face it, even though I do not think academic success defines kids, a kid feeling successful is detrimental to their sense of self. He is very pleased and seems completely himself all the time.

Thanks again.

I'm 40 years old. I've had a lot of time to look back on my childhood.

When I was a teenager, I was put on anti-depressants. You know that black box warning about those drugs making your kids bonko? I was one of them. I didn't try to commit suicide, but that's just because I'm a wimp. (Thank God, right?) I feel that my time on anti-depressants was abusive. I didn't have the words and the worldly knowledge to understand that these drugs were not OK for me and that I needed to say something about how I was feeling on them. I soooo wanted to please my parent and be the person they thought the drugs would make me. I started pulling my hair out. I self injured a little. I dreamed of using rocks to cut my wrists. I was 17 years old and on 80 mg a day of prozac. That's the maximum recommended adult dose. The doctor kept raising the dose every time I reported more anxiety. He didn't understand that I also have a communication disorder and that I was a child, and therefor is not a great reporter. The pharmaceutical company reps had told him this stuff was completely safe and he believed them. I decided they were crap and quit all of a sudden. I didn't understand the risk of seizures. I just new that the dream that these drugs would make me better was a falsehood.

When I was a young adult, I decided that my problem had been adhd all along. I started stimulant medications. I LOVED those medicines. They gave me a sense of self-control for the first time in my life. But then, 6 years ago, I got dizzy one day. I had acute vertigo for a while, which gave way into a headache that has not dissapeared for 6 years. I cannot take the stimulant medication, even a little. If I do, I get dizzy again and the headaches get worse. So now, instead of one disability, I have two.

I understand the desire to give your son the best life possible, but you need to understand two things. First, you can never ever make him not HIM. Secondly, all of those medicines have a price. Nothing comes for free. There will always be the other side of the equation. There is no such thing as a free lunch. There's no such thing as gaining without losing something of equal value.