Opinions on ABA therapy

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Hi, I am just curious to get parents feedback on this therapy. Did or does your child receive, your reasons for seeking this therapy or choosing not to, your experience if you did choose it. My ex and I are in disagreement over this for our 7 year old son. Thanks!

I really like verbal behaviour therapy which is a branch of ABA. I think it's on the right track for teaching speech to non-verbal kids. Regular speech therapy had no impact on my kids and currently my younger son is in regular speech again because it's through the school, and it's completely useless. The only time I ever noticed any kind of "drastic" change in his speech was in ABA speech (VB).

As far as regular ABA: I think it has a place for teaching autistic kids, but I wouldn't want to use it exclusively. In my opinion, ABA is basically like dog training, so if there's an alternative, it's probably better. I think DIR-floortime is better, but nobody does that in our area. I'm not sure what ABA is used for for high-functioning kids. My experience varied depending on the therapist- some are terrible, others are great. I worried about using candy as a reward like that, so we didn't use candy, but apparently it works better if you do (our therapists always complained a lot about it). My kids mostly got it in the semi-early intervention window before thy turned 10 at least, although the school district here uses IBI principles. I think IBI is a group version of ABA? I'm not totally sure.

ABA did a lot for my younger son. He learned to use PECS, which is the main way he communicates now, he learned to say some words, he learned to do a number of academic exercises, he learned to use visual schedules which is extremely helpful with him, he learned to walk next to an adult instead of just wandering off without even noticing the other person, etc.. My older son didn't learn much in it, but he hasn't learned much anywhere honestly. He learned basic commands (sit, stand, wait, stop, come), he kind of learned how to reciprocate interaction, in the sense that if you throw a ball to him now, he knows to throw it back, that kind of thing. When he was 4, it took three people to get him to "play catch" (one throwing to him, one holding him still, one operating his arms), so that is an improvement, although it's not exactly breath-taking. Prior to doing ABA, my older son was too LF for every other kind of therapy, so it did ope up some possibilities for him that he was not allowed to do before.

I had something similar to ABA, my mom would give me a piece of candy for sounding out a letter or sound and when I was in speech therapy, my therapist would always hand out speech bucks to all her students as a reward for trying and participation and using good manners or posture or for sitting still. If we did anything wrong like poor habit or if I was tapping my foot, I'd lose a speech buck. Like how kids in ABA lost a reward for doing something wrong or for not doing things or they don't earn one at all. I was never abused in therapy so it had been shocking for me to read what some do to kids during it like spraying them in the eyes with water for doing something wrong.

Some may argue about ABA being therapy. I don't know if I actually had it because I never asked but what I had read about it, some of it had sounded like I went through as a kid except it was not on a daily bases or eight hours a day. But as a kid I never wanted it to end because I wanted to keep earning those speech bucks and I wished it could be everyday.

I'm not a parent so I don't have to make this decision. In my experience of autism, I would tend to think that it depends on the specific treatment. Slapping a kid in the face until s/he makes eye contact, probably not so much, but some intervention is necessary for the child to learn to function in society, especially verbal expression..

Keep in mind though that social acceptance does not equal good mental health. I have found that often people confuse the ability to "pass" with having recovered from autism. No matter how well you can perform, you will always be autistic. The more time you spend behaving in a modified way, the less accepting you are of yourself. The discordance is hard to reconcile.

Thank you all for your responses.
Androbot01- what you said is exactly my concern. My son actually said to the doctor who suggested ABA right in front of him (and said reason was to help him fit in more with society)--that he likes himself just the way he is, that he is unique and doesn't want to be changed so he is like everyone else. That was a proud moment for me. His dad however, is pushing for this. I don't want my son to feel he is in need of fixing or that he needs to be someone he isn't. I feel that will just open up a whole set of other problems down the line.
Thanks again!

There's no escaping behaviour modification, unless you withdraw from society. The trick, I think, is to compromise. I like your kid's attitude. I think it bodes well. He'll have to face this pressure his whole life though. Although, things have changed a lot in my lifetime so who knows. Maybe they'll leave us to be ourselves one day. But in the meantime, I suggest you and your partner take aspects of ABA that you think have merit and do it yourself. These intensive worker led ABA therapies are over-the-top. I'm hearing you say that you and your husband hold opposing views on this, so try to focus on what you agree on and what you are flexible on. For me, I think verbal skills are worth working for, but sometimes it's not going to happen. You have to go with your gut regarding costs and benefits.

I think my mother used to use ABA-type techniques on me back in the mid 1960s.

It worked pretty well.

I am not a fan of ABA.
It would have been the wrong thing for me at your son's age.
Which skills are most important for your son to develop currently?
Perhaps I can suggest non-ABA things if there are more details about your son's traits and personality.

I do the reward part of ABA such as giving rewards for doing lessons, or doing reading but not much else.
I do the same for my typical child as well. My main therapy was sensory integration, music, some floor-time and some directed Montessori.
I don't give money for the behavior I want and I no longer do stickers, but small free activities like extra time up, a free app, cook a special snack, a piccnic, in our yard, or extra TV time.
A bigger reward might be to pick where we go out to eat, and maybe a surprise toy but I try to keep prizes on the minion because I find no cost rewards work better in the long run.