NY / NH / ME best place?

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It's come time for me to send out resume's and husband to stay at home with kids.
Our long awaited opportunity to move wherever we want (provided I get a job) is rapidly approaching.
We are considering upstate NY, NH, and ME. Does anyone have any opinions on which of these states offers the best spec. ed services for aspergers?
Anyone have any relevant information about which areas we should avoid?

I am in NY. NY is so "liberal" (as others say, but this has both
a literal and political meaning) that it has gone into debt
offering all kinds of services, so they are available, but NY
is a very expensive place to live. There are also a lot of
little rules with high fines for breaking them.

NH and Maine are conservative and rural, and services are
few and far between. People are much more self-sufficient
there, and as a result their cost of living is much lower.

BTW: Boston, MA seemed to me to be very nice in the
1990s, but now they (gratuitous generalization) seem
unfriendly, paranoid (had a terror panic over electric
signs with LED light bulbs on them, duh! ), are all
high on decriminalized weed, and also seem to have
gone into debt and use fines, and have had a huge
tunnel collapse after decades of constructing it.

Where do you get so much of your "false" information? I live in Upstate New York and in a nice residential community that is NOT expensive at all. In fact, it is an excellent place to raise children...excellent schools, close to state parks in the Adirondack Mountains where one can swim, hike and go boating (snowmobiling in the winter), and great food as we have so many ethnic minorities who have relocated here from Bosnia, Vietnam, Russia, India, China, Burma, etc...I can list so many more great reasons to live here.

In fact, so many families have already relocated to my community in Upstate New York, specifically from the Southern states, for the many social services, mental health services, substance abuse programs and special education offered in New York State where such services are often inadequate.

The Kelberman Center for Autism, too is an outstanding facility providing many programs and services for children and adults with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome...and many families have moved here just so their children can receive them.

New York City is an expensive place to live but, Upstate New York is all beautiful countryside, not skyscrapers, and it has many small cities, towns, villages that have one can find very reasonable and delightful places to live.

The previous post touched on something that I've noticed in my community: the more overall diversity an area has, the easier I think it is for our kids to be accepted. I'm talking diversity on all levels, not just statistical diversity that means a segregated reality. It would be something I would look for when choosing a new location.

In my son's elementary school one would be hard pressed to find two children that shared racial, economic, and religious background. So, everyone had to become friends with someone who was different in one significant way or another, and the school was constantly talking about how wonderful having so many differences made the community. In that small environment it didn't matter in the least that my son was weird; anyone who wanted to make an issue of it found themselves not fitting in by that attitude alone, and learned quick to drop it.

Middle school is diverse but more segregated, and thus is not giving the same benefit. The kids from our small elementary school have kind of clung together in that big sea, but the pressures are difficult for them to resist. My son's world has definitely gotten more narrow, even if in some ways easier for him (he doesn't have to try to enjoy watching basketball anymore, and he can find kids to play RPG's with who are just as into them as he is). But, I would have hated to start in a place like that; it is much more limiting, AND my son gets targeted now in a way he didn't use to.

Beyond that generalizaton, I don't know the areas you are considering very well. I drive through New Hampshire once a year and have neices in New York City, but that's about it.

As for making the change from the mostly at home parent to the bread winner - that is a big one. We've considered it but I've always been glad when my husband ended up back in the bread winner seat. A transitional period we had a few years ago was fun for a while, but old patterns die hard, and going back to full time work when it hasn't been your life is really hard. I do wish you all the best, and lots of success!

I do not disagree with your statements but my information could not be closer
to the source. If it appears to be in any way "false", it may be because:
1.I chose the wrong words to express the information
2.You misunderstood my words
3.Feelings are now more important than facts in consensus reality
Does sunshine lie to you at midnight? Does rain lie to you when you're dry?
NY is beautiful. I haven't been to the Adirondacks in a while though. Peace.

I vote for Massachusetts. I lived there for six years, and frankly I look forward to retiring there some day. The people are nice, and quirky, and VERY accepting of other's differences. I lived in the Northampton, Mass area (western Mass) and it is PERFECT for people on the spectrum, I think. Not only are people nice, but the area is absolutely gorgeous, has five colleges, and there's always something to do there.

But, then again, I'm pretty biased . . .

Avoid Maine. We've got a real a-hole governor. I mean, existing services are good and affordable but if this LePage dink has his way, no one would be able to get care in the state unless you make $100k or more.