9 yo son having thoughts of killing his mom

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Caleb who is in 4th grade seems to have regressed substantially lately and tonight broke down in tears stating he's having thoughts of killing his mom. She is one great mom and was in tears with this revelation. We explored it with him and he said "every time I get excited about something, my mind tells me things like that." He is not a mean kid and has done well in school this year. The kids in school are not real nice to Caleb and he has some reason to be angry. Just wondering- has anyone else had this problem with their aspergers child? Thanks for reading- Paul

It sounds like intruding thoughts. As in, he sees pictures of things that disturb him...not that he's fantasizing about it. (If I understand correctly.)

I'd take him to a psychiatrist or psychologist who could help him work on this issue. It might be related to anxiety or OCD.

I had a fabulous psychologist once who used cognitive behavior therapy who taught me about the idea of "intrusive thoughts", reassured me that everyone has them from time to time and to practice letting them go.

I also thought "intrusive thoughts", but not ones he wishes to have. My ASD son also gets intrusive thoughts. He does not have OCD, but has General Anxiety Disorder and has some OCD tendencies with the intrusive thoughts. If your son is generally not feeling safe or secure in school, that could definitely trigger anxiety. You don't have to be being physically bullied to not feel safe, it could just be that he's being picked on. My son is having the same issues at school and he is angry too. Anxiety problems are really common in kids with ASD.

If it bothers him, obviously he has no intentions of doing so. It's likely related to anxiety/OCD so I think the best thing to do would be to explain that everyone has weird thoughts from time to time and they don't mean he's a bad person.

I agree with this, sounds like the kids overanalizing these intrusive thoughts to death and worrying it means they're a bad person or are only a short way from doing something like that. Also if he is having trouble at school might be worth looking into. I remember for a time I was very angry with my dad and had thoughts....but when it came down to it I would never have actually wanted to kill him, but none the less I felt terrible for such thoughts even entering my head. I was stressed, parents weren't getting along and never did have the best time at school so it was really just frustration rather then any actual desire to harm him or my mom for that matter.

I concur with the opinions of the other posters. There is actually a subtype of OCD called purely obsessional OCD, where they don't have compulsive behavior but just repetitive and distressing thoughts, and violent thoughts are typical of this subtype.

Now, if he didn't seem distressed by those thoughts, then it would be a lot more concerning.

I had that too as a child. Happiness seemed to trigger the worst and most abrupt intrusive thoughts, usually aimed at the person I was happy about or the person I really liked or thought I was obligated to.

I have had many years to analyze this and myself and the way my mind works. I believe this OCD reaction is the obsessive mind's way of controlling the sharpness and instabilty caused by the emotion of happiness. It's also a way of deflecting the demands placed on you by other people and the expected emotional response you are supposed to have towards them even though you might want to have those expected, natural responses; it's in some ways a rebellion against the discomfort of being beholden to someone else, even if that other person didn't really make you like them and you want to like them. Think along the lines of pathological demand avoidance. It's basically a control issue. It's a way for the obsessive mind to have something to control or focus on to distract from the insecurity and fear that happy feelings bring. It's not by choice and is an automatic coping mechanism for an obsessive mind. A way to tamp down and control those wild, painful feelings of happiness.

He needs to know that those thoughts do not reflect his true intentions for his parents and do not mean he is bad or evil or a psychopath. They don't mean he is going to snap someday and actually kill somebody. It's just his brain trying to control the emotion, trying to control the relationship, trying to offset the expectations placed on him by that relationship, expectations he may on some level know or be aware that he can't deal with or is just overwhelmed by because he has to also figure out how to react and how to respond to social advances.