Seeking advice about teaching sex education

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Iamala1
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14 Sep 2015, 10:42 am

I hope this is the right place to pose this question.
I have Aspergers and I help to care for my younger brother who has severe learning difficulties (with many autistic traits). He is almost fifteen and today I caught him typing the word 'bums' into google to look at pictures.

Now I have fairly strict parental controls on his computer due to the fact his reading ability is not that high so he can sometimes end up finding inappropriate things through just clicking links. I think it was more a slightly confused fascination than anything particularly sexual, but it made me realise I don't know how to talk to him about this subject.

I tried to explain they were rude pictures and it was inappropriate because other people might not want you to look at their bums. I think we need to have a big conversation about appropriate behaviour with different people, it's just a little tricky because sometimes family relationships confuse him, so romantic ones might be harder to explain, especially since I have never been in one so I can't use my life as an example.

He has always had a bit of an issue with boundaries, he used to try to hug strangers a lot when young and such, and he is only beginning to develop a kind of embarrassment about being naked around other people (which to be honest I'm trying to encourage so he learns a bit more about privacy and that not everyone wants to see you when you've just walked out the shower).

His school are great at helping with behaviour but I think this is a topic we should be dealing with ourselves, not relying on the school for entirely. My parents both work full time and so I'm often the one who does the more practical lessons like how to behave in town, buying things in a shop, that kind of thing, and to be honest, it works both ways because he is very social and so often insists on going with me to do things where I have to talk to people I don't know because he picks up that when I focus on him I'm more confident.

I know this isn't specifically about parenting a child with autism, but since he has a lot of autistic traits and I'm on the spectrum it might be okay. But if anyone has advice on explaining appropriate behaviour/sex education to a teenager with learning difficulties I would greatly appreciate it, thank you.



ASDMommyASDKid
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14 Sep 2015, 12:30 pm

This is absolutely the right place place for this post.

I don't know if I have a lot of concrete advice b/c my son is younger and we are just starting to wade through this. I am guessing puberty will make a lot of this stuff make more sense, and we are not dealing with that yet.

We bought him a book called "It's so Amazing," http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Fa ... 0763613215 that he can flip to in privacy, at his leisure. It is a simple book, but we will probably get him the more advanced ones when he is ready for them.

We are also doing Crash Course reproduction with Hank Green on YouTube, which is more about the biology aspect than the social ones. But it is important for us to have that foundation.

The hardest parts are going to be about social etiquette, boundaries, consent issues like that one can like a person and they do not like you back, and that kind of thing. Hopefully more people will chime in about those kinds of resources.



YippySkippy
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15 Sep 2015, 1:29 pm

My son is a bit younger, but what I've told him is that body parts covered by underwear and bras are private. That means you don't touch, talk about, or look at other peoples'. It also means you don't touch, talk about, or show your own parts when you're in public.
Do you think your brother will be having a reciprocal sexual relationship soon? If not, then you probably don't need to go into greater detail right now.



momsparky
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18 Sep 2015, 8:55 am

Not only is this the right place for this question, there's a section of the Parenting Index dedicated to it: these posts may help you - viewtopic.php?f=19&t=166142&start=15#p4767172