My dad called me a "sl*t".

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I was booking a hotel to go on holidays with my boyfriend. Since I don't own a credit card of my own and the booking required providing a credit card number, I asked my dad for it (and then payed him the money from my Christmas and birthday savings).

However, while booking the hotel, there was a problem with my Internet connection service, and I accidentally booked the hotel twice, hence charging my dad with twice the money. I immediately cancelled the extra-booking, receiving an e-mail confirming the extra money would be returned to my dad's bank account in a few day's time. So everything was apparently sorted out. I even called the hotel company, where they assured me everything was all right and that there was just one reservation, since the second one had been successfully cancelled.

My dad, nonetheless, started raging at me. He claimed that they were tricking me and that he was not going to get his money back. He started yelling at me, calling me "mentally deficient", "handicapped" and, finally, "nymphomaniac", "sl*t" and "wh*re".

I wanted to know if this is a normal reaction, since I have been crying my eyes out all evening. Thank you.

No, that isn't normal. That's verbal abuse and even more horrible coming from your own father.
Is he a heavy drinker or something like that ? (because sometimes such words come from the use of alcohol)

Agree with Miss Algernon, it's not normal. I used to be on the receiving end of that kind of language from my dad when he was drunk. He would think of every nasty word he could think of to throw at me, over the smallest of things. I feel for you. Can you keep him at a distance, for now at least?

Nope, he's not into alcohol. That's the most worrying issue. He got a stroke a couple of years ago, and a big "blob" was left over on his brain, but that's basically it. What's more, on the outside he's sweet, caring and cheerful. It's at home when it's all insults and such.

Is there any time where he apologizes, where he realizes that he said something wrong ? Are there any acts from him that show that he loves you (other than what he seems to be in public) ?

Nope. He has never apologised and if I ever complain about his behaviour towards me, he insults me even more. He is only happy for me as far as academic achievement is concerned, because he claims that, if I'm intelligent, it's because I resemble him.

Nonetheless, he has never said anything positive about me other than that. For instance, I warned him he was losing his daughter with such verbal abuse, and he answered he has already lost her (me) and that "his daughter is crazy and out of her mind."

unfortunately, it sounds like he is brain-damaged, so do not take what comes out of his mouth personally. that is the brain damage talking and so just treat it as corrupted signal.

So he seems like my mother then. With her, there was only one solution : running away. I never regretted it. It's the only possible solution with relatives who can't love you. They're the kind of psychologically toxic people who can only kill you inside sooner or later if you don't escape from them.

Was it on his frontal lobe? Did this behavior start after the stroke?

Frontal lobe injuries can cause irrational rage reactions. So it might be because of that.

Cool, you go girl!

Your dad is an ass, hopefully when he gets the money back he'll chill out. It won't stop him being an ass though.

But he's still your dad, he still let you use his card which is great so go easy on him, it's good that he did this for you and if he wants to rant a little about it then let him.

At age 25, it's time for you to get some sort of credit card or debit card of your own, as a step toward your independence. Take your Christmas and birthday savings (whatever is left) and use it to open a bank account -- most accounts these days come with an ATM card that can be used as a debit card. There is also a type of card called a "secured credit card" where you deposit money into the credit account before you use it. It has a very low spending limit and would help you build a credit record. Check out some books from the library about basic personal finance to learn how to manage your money.

Did you consider asking your boyfriend to book the tickets before asking your dad?

Nobody deserves such lack of respect, and I am so not putting up with it, is it my father or whoever.

There's no excuse for his behaviour. No matter how related you are and no matter what others say, parents have no special privileges when it comes to hurting someone. Saying the contrary is not only unhealthy but worse, encouraging abuse. I had others telling me how I should forgive insults and assaults from my mother "because she's your mom and she loves you no matter what she does to you". Uhhh, what ? Just NO. That's a horrible thing to say
I wish you courage and hope you find a way to manage to escape your father's toxic influence.

Yeah, that kind of verbal abuse was pretty common for me growing up, amongst other things. Unfortunately, none of those things shock me as they do most people, as I'm used to it. That's why you ought to get your own credit card and avoid him if possible.

Nope. There is no excuse for calling your own daughter a slut. However upset he was and for whatever reason, talking to one's own children in such a way is abusive and never acceptable.

That's terrible advice. It wasn't a little rant. That would be something along the lines of being a bit grumpy about the bad Internet connection and grumbling that the hotel had better be honest and refund the money.

This was verbal abuse directed at someone he is supposed to love. That is not acceptable behaviour.

There may be extenuating circumstances here because of damage to the brain, but I have a parent with issues and i've had to draw a line to protect myself. I live at least an hour's drive away. And I only check in once in a while. I'm Always here is my parents need me, but I won't take any abusive behaviour.

You can't just say, oh you have to put up with it because the person is related to you. That isn't true.

No one has to put up with abusive behaviour.

Sorry AuroraMonocerotis. That comment hit a nerve with me.

I hope you are feeling OK now.