Page 1 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

HisMom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,271

03 Feb 2016, 2:51 am

An incident of abuse of an LFA child occurred last week at school. District authorities claim that an incident report was made and that the parents were notified. The adult involved continues to work in the same class till date. District claims that further information about what action is / was taken against the employee cannot be shared, due to "confidentiality reasons". We (SDC parents) have tried to contact the parents to verify district claims by attempting to email them & trying to slip a note into student's backpack (which teacher would not permit). There was no response to the email and there is no phone number. Mom & Dad have never participated in classroom or school events. Any advise how we can handle this ? Current plan is to go up the district hierarchy if this individual is not terminated STAT, but without the child's parents at the forefront, we (other parents) don't know if we have leg to stand on. Help ?!


_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1026
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

03 Feb 2016, 10:46 am

I think many of school districts have confidential disciplinary procedures, which block information about what happened to the bad teachers. I believe that this is legally necessary for them to protect themselves from lawsuits from disciplined staff.

What kind of abuse was this? Assault? Sexual harassment? Something less serious? Could it be made a police matter?

Does your state have anti-bullying laws?

If the parents don't want to pursue it, I don't think you would be in a strong position to pursue it here.


_________________
Don't believe the gender note under my avatar. A WP bug means I can't fix it.


Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,971

03 Feb 2016, 8:06 pm

Adamantium wrote:
If the parents don't want to pursue it, I don't think you would be in a strong position to pursue it here.


I think it's more that the parents don't know about it, rather than choosing not to pursue it. It sounds like the OP's having a tough time getting a hold of the parents.



InThisTogether
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,709
Location: USA

03 Feb 2016, 8:15 pm

How do you know if it is abuse or alleged abuse? I ask because if the abuse was substantiated, I doubt they would keep the teacher in the classroom, ykwim?

I am in healthcare, not education, but unless abuse can be substantiated in some way, it is very difficult to handle from an organizational/legal perspective. Even when it appears to be substantiated, it can get sticky. We (at a different company) one time believed there was "substantiated" abuse. There were supposed witnesses and the statements held up under scrutiny. Until we pulled the staff member's attendance record and found out she wasn't working the day of the alleged incident, nor the day after. We had statements from the patient, staff, and the patient's family. All claiming they witnessed the "abuse." Granted, the patient was not a reliable historian, but the family and staff were. In that case, we ended up moving the staff member to a different unit, not as a disciplinary measure, but to protect her from further false allegations.

What is your general impression of the person involved? Was it easy or hard to believe when you heard it?

I know how frustrating it is when you need to contact a parent and you can't. One time my son was rough with another student and I wanted to talk to her parents and they would not give me their information. I stalked the school grounds until I saw them. I think it is ridiculous. They should at least be required to tell the other parents that someone wishes to contact them.


_________________
Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage


LyraLuthTinu
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2014
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 631
Location: Tacoma

03 Feb 2016, 9:07 pm

What is a LFA child?
What are SDC parents?

Yes I tried googling before I asked and the results did not help me understand what HisMom is talking about by use of these acronyms.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,951
Location:      

03 Feb 2016, 9:12 pm

LFA = Low Functioning Autism

SDC = Social Development Center


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


ASDMommyASDKid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,666

03 Feb 2016, 9:31 pm

I am making some guesses here.

This is something other parents witnessed and therefore that is why they know about it? (This is not crazy to think - as I have witnessed things that were not at the level of abuse, or negligence; but if I knew the parents, I would have told them what I saw. Sometimes staff have a warped idea of what is OK, and so they do it in front of parents.) One of the reasons, when my kid was in public school, I was up there a lot, even when not requested to be there.

I don't know what can be done, regarding contact, if the parents are not around at school --and the child is bused and therefore no one from the family is there at pick up time. If someone does come up, even if it is not the parents--a nanny or something-- I would try to pass a note for the parents through them.

That said, I don't think it would be out-of-line for the other parents to try to make a group, where at least one of the parents is visiting up there until this situation is resolved. The school will hate-hate-hate that, but if it is framed as you, as a group, are going to do this to keep your own kids safe and/or observe what is going on until the group is satisfied as to the children's safety, then I think they will have to do something, or at the least hold a meeting with the parents.



HisMom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,271

03 Feb 2016, 10:01 pm

Abuse is absolutely substantiated, as there are independent witnesses to this particular incident (and other similar but less obviously abusive incidents). District claims that no complaints have ever been received against the adult in question, and that the person has been at the job for X number of years. We found the response very defensive. What made us all even more suspicious was their refusal to discuss what action they would take against the staff - aside from claiming to have written up an incident report and notifying the parents - due to "confidentiality". Our suspicions are that the parents were NEVER informed and we are desperate to get in touch with the student's family.

And, hey, if the district had nothing to hide, why would they (and the teacher) refuse the family's contact information AND refuse to pass on OUR contact information to them, citing "privacy" ? Nah... something is off. Next stop is the Superintendent's office and / or the local newspaper (as was suggested to me by someone via pm) but we want to give the district an opportunity to "do the right thing" without threat of the story going to the local media. However, without the student's parents, things might get dicey. Is there ANY WAY at all - that you can think of - to get a hold of the family ?


_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,951
Location:      

04 Feb 2016, 7:11 am

Contact a lawyer. File a class-action suit.

Contact the media. Tell them everything.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


ConceptuallyCurious
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2014
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 494

04 Feb 2016, 8:51 am

Would you be allowed to send a note home with the child about a parent and child event/some kind of gathering. Does anyone have a party coming up? Don't know if they'd respond (especially if they or their kid couldn't cope with events) but if you could send a facebook group or phone number to them, you might be able to get an initial contact.


_________________
Diagnosed with:
Moderate Hearing Loss in 2002.
Autism Spectrum Disorder in August 2015.
ADHD diagnosed in July 2016

Also "probable" dyspraxia/DCD and dyslexia.

Plus a smattering of mental health problems that have now been mostly resolved.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,951
Location:      

04 Feb 2016, 10:20 am

A similar event happened in my area a few years ago.

Someone from the school told the parents that they could be sued, arrested, and even deported if they talked to anyone else about it. Those parents were recent immigrants, and assumed that the laws here were similar to the oppressive laws they ran away from.

HIRE A LAWYER! INFORM THE MEDIA!


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,971

04 Feb 2016, 12:43 pm

InThisTogether wrote:
How do you know if it is abuse or alleged abuse? I ask because if the abuse was substantiated, I doubt they would keep the teacher in the classroom, ykwim?


I don't. Schools tend to react with a cover-up whenever they get evidence of an abusive teacher. I talked to a Mom once whose son was coming home with handprint bruises and saying it hurt when his aide grabbed him, and the school was accusing her of abusing her child and trying to blame it on the aide.



HisMom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,271

04 Feb 2016, 10:04 pm

Hi Conceptually Curious, we've already tried to send a note but the attempt was foiled by the teacher. The parents have *never* come to any birthday parties or to class / school events. The student is bused and it now emerges that the parents may have a language issue which further raises our collective hackles. Knowing this particular district, it is entirely possible that despite the parents NOT understanding exactly what was being told to them, the district would not have bothered with simplifying information so the parents understood OR got a translator involved. There is no response back yet from the program manager, so we'll wait until Monday morning, when we're going to contact the local newspaper (as has been advised to me via pm). We're also trying to arrange that there will be a "room parent" every day of every week in every SDC. I just wish the parents would reach out to one of us or at least come to the school one day soon so we can get going. The only option left would be following the bus home but that would be considered stalking and none of us want to go there ... YET.


_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116


InThisTogether
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,709
Location: USA

05 Feb 2016, 7:24 am

Ettina wrote:
InThisTogether wrote:
How do you know if it is abuse or alleged abuse? I ask because if the abuse was substantiated, I doubt they would keep the teacher in the classroom, ykwim?


I don't. Schools tend to react with a cover-up whenever they get evidence of an abusive teacher. I talked to a Mom once whose son was coming home with handprint bruises and saying it hurt when his aide grabbed him, and the school was accusing her of abusing her child and trying to blame it on the aide.


That's so sad. I guess my district is in the minority :(

Our SD used to coordinate a "friendship list" which was basically a list of all the kids in the class, their parent's names, and a phone number to facilitate out-of-school activities. They had to stop due to parent "complaints". We can't even stick notes in backpacks anymore.

I try to imagine what may have happened to make schools--and some parents--so against facilitating out-of-school contact. I mean, I get it in your case, HisMom, because they may be preventing you from talking to them.

Does your school have PTA? Our PTA will still help families contact one another from my understanding. How about a class parent? My daughter's class parent has everyone's email address.


_________________
Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage


Adamantium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2013
Age: 1026
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,863
Location: Erehwon

05 Feb 2016, 8:07 am

Yes, it's depressing when you see how things really work, sometimes.

http://nypost.com/2016/01/17/city-pays- ... ms-return/

I find it slightly encouraging that you don't have negative expectations of your school district, InThisTogether.


_________________
Don't believe the gender note under my avatar. A WP bug means I can't fix it.


HisMom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,271

06 Feb 2016, 12:13 am

InThisTogether wrote:
Does your school have PTA? Our PTA will still help families contact one another from my understanding. How about a class parent? My daughter's class parent has everyone's email address.


None of these things exist in the SDC programme. In October, a bunch of SDC parents got together and complained to the Principal that kids / families in special ed were not being included by the PTA. Nothing really came out of that complaint, BUT, we did try to see if the PTA had their contact by any chance, and nope, they don't. I got a brilliant idea suggested via PM - to host a Tupperware or a Mary Kay party and send out invites to the parents of all the kids in that particular class, and see if maybe that would induce Mum to respond / attend. I liked this idea so much that I sent out a mass invite today to Tupperware at my house. Hope my bounty responds.

Also, there was YET ANOTHER incident involving the student this afternoon which was reported to the Principal who looks thoroughly discomfited every time this child is mentioned. We'll see. Monday is but just a few hours away.


_________________
O villain, villain, smiling, damnèd villain!
My tables—meet it is I set it down
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain.
At least I'm sure it may be so in "Denmark".

-- Hamlet, 1.5.113-116