Son can stay in high school until he 22. Thoughts?

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My son was officially diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 7. Middle school was a nightmare, but he has thrived in high school. We had his IEP meeting today and discussed plans after high school. He's 16, a sophomore with a 3.7 GPA. A transition program was discussed. He can stay enrolled in school until he is 22. The transition program would work on life skills, job placement, learning to use public transit or driving school and he could attend vocational/technical school or a local college, with the option to transfer to another state college. All costs would be covered by the state. The catch is, even though he will meet the requirements to graduate high school in 2018, he could not officially graduate until he either decides to leave the transition program or ages out at 22. Even though we write it in the IEP, it's not binding, but if we don't and after graduation we decide he would benefit from it, he can't. My husband and I feel it may be a good idea for my son to do the transition program because we know he will not be ready for the responsibilities of adulthood at 18. He will need support and help. but my son doesn't like the idea of not graduating with his class. Thought?

I don't blame him for wanting to graduate with his class.

Can't he graduate from high school, then do the "transition" program while attending community college?

Well if it's not binding, I can't see the harm in having it in the IEP. You all can always change your minds before he graduates if you decide that he may not need the help with transitioning.

No, once he officially graduates he's no longer enrolled in public school. The only transition program in my community is public school based. That's the issue. No options where we live. Department of Rehabilitative Services will be contacting us soon. We will find out what they have to offer. Who knows...maybe there's a program I'm not aware of.

I think you should follow your son's opinion on this.
If he wants to graduate with his class, he should.
Perhaps he can attend a local college with his good GPA, and you can probably help him transition to adulthood independence gradually.

Kids with autism can have a lot of issues transitioning, and if the program there is good, then it may be worth it. That said, I can see where he would want to graduate on time. Is there anyway, since he will have met the academic requirements that they will let him walk with his class on graduation? I know that schools will often do this for kids who have to take a summer class, but are expected to pass. If he could walk with his class, even if he has to defer getting the real diploma, that might be enough to satisfy him, especially since he will be taking college work, afterwards.

(That is assuming you look at what the program offers, and you think this is useful --- Sometimes they cover things the kid can do, or can learn relatively quickly, but not all the things he will need; and the program is therefore unhelpful, even though he does need help, if you know what I mean.)

Should have thought of that!

Yes, he will still be able to walk with his class, do senior pics, prom, etc. I know exactly what you mean about looking into the program to see if it will be beneficial. When the teacher started explaining it, she mentioned skills that my son has already started working on. He knows how to use the public transit system and he's in the process of getting his drivers license. I think I may be worrying about this too much right now. We have a couple of years to decide if it's a good option.

Perhaps he could attend the graduation ceremony with his class and unofficially graduate? Then do the transition program? Seems like the school should be able to accommodate something like this with out officially graduating him. The ceremony itself is meaningless.

I would push heavy and hard for him to stay.

Let him walk with his class at graduation.
Let him do all the fun senior stuff.

And face it, who will really know or care if he truly is graduated if he doesn't say anything? No one needs to know his business.

We have a friend who let her son graduate (ASD) with his class. Our state HAS NOTHING for him in transitional skills, job placement, blah blah blah....nightmare. He just bombed out of community college.

If you think you son has any problems coping with daily life nonsense, push to keep him there until next year.

Maybe he can bail at 19, 20 or stay until 22.

My state treats sped kids as "cured" once they receive a high school diploma. Get all the help you now.

Yeah perhaps live at home whilst attending college or some kind of technical program. Also realistically most 18 year olds aren't quite ready for adulthood and have much transitioning to do themselves. And I wouldn't think less of someone for spending a couple extra years in highschool....but kids/teens can be cruel so if they caught on that he's over 19 still attending highschool they do a lot of mocking. Also I should also mention if he has autism he's always going to have some struggles and traits even with any transition program...he might not become a perfectly 'normal' functioning adult but that's not the end of the world.

It might not be necessary for him then if he's able to work on a lot of needed skills himself, maybe if that doesn't suffice perhaps a local mental health center would have classes for skills and such I know the one I go to has some stuff like that. But as someone with autism I can say one of the most annoying things is repetition of stuff you already know. For instance if he learns the skills he'll need to get around and such...then the program tries to teach him the same things he already knows and has been working on, it would just be a lot of extra mental clutter.

I really like the idea of walking with his class and attending all of the appropriate celebrations, but still attending the program until he's 22 or everyone is satisfied with his skills. Sidenote: I needed one more semester of credits to graduate college, but they still let me walk. No one knows that my diploma is dated 4 mo after my official graduation date and no one has ever asked about it.

Thank you for all the wonderful responses! I wish we lived in an area that had more resources for my son. The doctors and teachers who have worked with my son have told me over and over again that they wished that every child had supportive parents like us. Hearing that makes us feel better abought the decisions we have made. I had to retire from a 23 year teaching career because of health reasons. One if the things that keeps me going is being able to advocate for my son. And I've been able to spend quality time with my family. My husband has never been officially diagnosed with Aspergers, but hes done a lot of reading on it. When we were meeting with the neuropsych who tested my son, she said that ASD can be hereditary. She is looking and my husband when she said it and my husband said its from his side. He has a 21 year old nephew who has never been diagnosed but his mom said I think he has what your son has. She refused to get help for him when she was homeschooling him and now she has an adult son who has never held a job, dropped out of college after the first few weeks, and stays in his room. He does nothing around the house. My husband has tried to help guide him(his father passed away several years ago). But mom continues to coddle and give in to whatever he wants. She doesn't like to upset him. I don't want my son to end up like this.

If the transition program is good then go for it, you are lucky to have that option.

They did nothing for me, left me at the mercy of a rust belt ghetto in the middle of an economic collapse.

I graduated on time, I didn't walk across stage or participate in anything as I didn't feel I really attended the school they said I graduated from and I simply did not care about the people there. It means nothing.

Transition is really important

Make sure everybody lives & you'll be fine, whomever you are.