Child Care

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I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I was wondering if people could recommend a good day care for a 4 year old child with PDD-Noss. I am feeling frustrated with my inability to find a really good center. He goes to a autism school Monday-Thursday and goes into day care Fridays, Hollidays and during the summer. I started day care last year and so far i have taken him to two different ones. The problem I have with them is that they stick him with 2 year olds and then they neglect him. He is being potty train right now. At school and at home we leave him in underwear. We ask him and take him to the toilet every 2 or 3 hours. He does need supervision because he will just wonder and he has to be prompted to take his cloths down to use the toilet. He will not ask on his own. His language skills is probably almost to a two year old if not slightly farther than that level. I explain this to the current day care center and they said they could handle it. They said he would be with the 3-4 year old class and i even talked to his teacher. There is a toilet right in the room he is in. Well I notice within two weeks he was with the 2 and younger class. The lady who was suppose to watch him said its cause they are short handed and that they split the class. Ok i guess i have no choice i accepted it. He came home with a dry pull up and he was one day there a week. I didn't see kids his age though. The last 3 weeks he keeps coming home with very wet pull up. I talked to the director and at first she said he was confused with the older kids then she said its cause he is not potty train. I said ok fine but your care givers are not even changing him. Yesterday he had a poopy pull up and it seem to be there for about a hour. She said she would not want the other kids to pick on him as well. Well I guess if he is safer with the 2 year olds. He is high functioning and he does't have misbehavior problems and I am never asked to leave. Maybe my expectations are too high. My last day care stuck him with the two year olds and would not change him as well. One lady said well at his age he should be potty train. I think he is the only kid in his class that is in his underwear. He is really close to be potty train I believe. He now will tell me when he is wet.
Maybe I am asking to much. I realize they have alot of kids but sometimes i see just 7 kids. They can't change him or take him to the toilet that is like right in the classroom? I been thinking of a Family Group Licensed/family license day care. These are in the homes of people but this makes me nervous because who has access to the children. The family group setting has 16 kids only and the regular family one has 8. Surely they can take care of his needs? The problem is my experience so far leads me to believe they will say yes to get my money then they don't do it and i am left feeling maybe my expectations are to high. They do have other kids that need attention. My kid learns best by watching other kids. The daycare centers don't complain on him. He doesn't hit or anything. He goes and plays and that is it. What is your experiences of the family day care? Am I expecting to much? I guess its just 1 day that he is with the 2 year olds and i can change him when i get home.
The day care center said they will put him in regular underwear next week(which he has to go the entire week cause its spring break)and if he does fine she will put him with other kids but weather he wears underwear or a pull up doesn't matter as long as he is taken to bathroom. I am really distressed and I don't know if I just need to deal with it. He is not abused or hit on they just don't put him in a room with his peers or change his pull up. I could try putting him in another daycare center but will they say what he wants? I have a feeling that i will get outright declines to watch him cause he is 4 and not fully potty train. Thanks. Maybe the family daycare is better? What are your thoughts? Thank you again.
PS The teachers at his school just started sending him home on the bus without a pull up and requested that i send him on the bus without one as well and he has been fine. He holds his pee. His pull up has been dried. He goes about every two hours and so when he comes home with it so wet it is falling off of him i tend to believe they are not sending him to the bathroom at all.

Are there any daycares for special needs students in your area?

There are many day care and child care centers located everywhere. You just have to search over the web for best day care center for such students with special needs. There are many Melville day care centers, which provide different infant, toddler and preschooler programs.

Maybe you should call around and maybe visit the different day care facilities for your son and get a feel for the people working there, and if possible try talking to the parents of some of the kids.
It's not good for you or your son if your worrying about the level of care that your receiving, it must be a terrible stress for you and kids can pick up on it.
I would call around.

I don't live in your city, so I don't have specific recommendations for you, but we had great success with a licensed, home based child care provider.

Since it's just one day a week, would it be feasible to afford a babysitter who comes to your home? On www.care.com, you can find people who have experience with kids with special needs.

I'm really sorry you and your son are going through this. I hope you find a much better place for your son, soon.
I went through a similar experience a few years ago when my son was in preschool/daycare. I soon found out that not only were his "caregivers" not following through with our instructions for handling toileting and food, they were basically treating him like s**t. We are still undoing the damage they did and he remembers all of it.
If they are not respecting your instructions and they are clearly not respecting your son's basic needs and they are leaving him unattended and/or unstimulated with two-year olds, this is a huge red flag for other ways they may be mistreating him.
I hope you find something better soon. Is there a temporary solution for Fridays? A trusted relative or stay-at-home mom friend who could take him? Or like another poster said, a babysitter who could come to your home? I would take him out of there right away.

If they are not changing him this is neglect. Leaving a child in a dirty diaper too long can cause health problems, such as urinary tract infections, which can become very serious sometimes. That is not acceptable at all!