My son is susceptible to the Force

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A funny thing happened amidst the chaos that I feel like sharing with someone for some reason.

My children's father has a bunch of sayings that he says often in different situations that our kids hear frequently. One of them is he will say, "You have failed me for the last time, Admiral" in a Darth Vadery kind of voice whenever one of our kids is doing something mildly bad. Our kids have seen that movie a bazillion times so they could potentially get the reference. Yeah, it's kind of dark (the admiral who failed Darth Vader gets strangled to death via the Force- ok maybe it's really dark). Anyway, about a week ago, he said this and my son started making choking noises. I thought it was a coincidence- my son makes weird noises all the time. But then he did it again today. Definitely intentional. He's playing along- he's being strangled by the Force!

It's actually a pretty complex process; he had to identify the scene in the movie, understand that it's a joke, recognise that dad is Darth Vader and he is Ozzel, and then act out being strangled to play along. I mean, wow, I don't think his therapists would deem him capable of that... Too bad it's not something useful!! !

lol.

How is it not useful for him to understand something is a joke...or recognize references? I find those to be useful things. Also when my youngest brother was a few years younger he used to do a very good impression of gollum/smeagol from Lord of The Rings which was pretty cool.

Yes- the general ability to recognize when folks are joking and then respond with a joke is very useful even if the specific joke is not transferrable outside of the particular household that has that as a specific inside joke.

Sure it's useful! Playful back and forth interaction is useful -- it connects people, and that's important. And if it's an interaction he really enjoys, then it's also useful because happiness/joy is important.

Also, if he understands the "you did something bad" aspect of it and is not just following along without getting that part, then I think it represents very functional communication with his dad..... and even if he doesn't understand that part right now, he might figure it out later. I'm 29 and I still have epiphanies where I fill in those kinds of blanks for stuff that I've known since childhood but never actually understood (or only understood part of).

That's so funny!

My husband does a really good Yoda impression. He likes to say, "The force is strong with this one," in reference to ASD traits in people after I told him a reference to that I had read somewhere online.

Like many people on the spectrum, your son has a wonderful sense of humour!

What a lovely story, thanks for sharing it.

And who says it's not useful? A sense of humour is a great asset in life.

When I said it wasn't useful… yesterday I was feeling really down about his skillset in general because I had a meeting with his team and they found that he hasn't really progressed at all, which is depressing. Plus, I know he tends to not generalise his skills, so his ability to do this does not mean he can do it in any other context whatsoever. BUT you guys are correct that a sense of humour is so valuable. I should not downplay that.

What do they mean by that though?...what 'skillset' is he supposed to have that he hasn't progressed on? If the goal is to turn him neurotypical I imagine they'll never see anything aside from willingly being molded as progress.

Even if he only has a skill in one context, I think that's still a whole lot better than not having it in any contexts.

Not trying to minimize your feelings or the difficulty of the situation, though.

The goal is not to turn him neurotypical. The goal is to allow him to have as much independence and as many choices in his life as possible. They tested his expressive language, his receptive language, his nonverbal 'manding' with PECS, his self-help skills (dressing, brushing teeth, etc.), his academic ability, his attention span, etc.. None of the goals we have set would make him look even remotely neurotypical if he achieved them. ETA: I don't really want to discuss his tests further, it's depressing and there's no reason to anyways, "it is what it is".

...Huh .

Your story made me smile and gave me a bit of the goosies...don't let any of what else is going on diminish your joy in this one small moment. What he did is awesome in and of itself, and it is something he figured out on his own. No one worked on this with him. He did it by himself.

For my kids, they both do well with "learning" things, but their understanding is usually pretty superficial, and that's why I think they don't always generalize that well. They get what to do in Situation A, but because they don't really understand Situation A, it is hard for them to pick up on the fact that Situation B is a lot like Situation A. I find when they figure something out on their own, they are much more likely to do it again. Maybe even in a new context.

He figured this out on his own.

And that is pretty clever.

Congratulations! Your son is adorable and it's great that he got the joke: that really was an incredibly complex set of information to follow!

Nobody knows what our kids are going to be like when they are adults...all we can do is support them to be the best they can be, and watch while they grow and love them. Good for you for doing that.

I know a lot of adults on this forum did not get the benefits of the advances in therapy that our kids have: years ago, the goal WAS to have kids turn out neurotypical or looking as neurotypical as possible. While that still does happen sometimes, I think it is very, very rare that a parent who posts on this forum is looking for that outcome.

Communication skills are important: it is very difficult to get what you want if you don't have a way to let everyone else know what that is.

Maybe some day he will be able to make those mental leaps and generalize more. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Very true.

It also shows that he is indeed trying to connect with us. Sometimes I get frustrated with his behaviour and forget how hard he is trying.

By the way, thanks to all for "getting it". I debated pressing "post" because I thought people might not. I shared a similar kind of story several months ago at work and I got crickets and some weird looks. (I don't normally talk about my kids at work.)