How Do I Connect with my Parents?

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I know that this is supposed to be for parents, but I have a question which, I feel, can be best answered by those with experience parenting and with more life experience in general.

I will be leaving for college soon and will be attending a school all the way on the opposite side of the country from where I live. My parents are both excited though nervous for me and my future prospects, as am I.

My relationship with my parents has been rather strained for the better part of this past decade, especially throughout my high school career. I can not help but feel that this is my fault, and, though I do not feel that I can rectify this, I at the very least wish to leave for college on better terms than we currently are now.

At the heart of the tensions that exist within my household is a lack of communication and understanding. I do not understand my parents most of the time, and I can only guess that the same must be true for them in regards to me. They are rather emotionally driven, something that does not compute for me as I have not, and I fear can not, feel most of what they seem to feel. I feel as though they do not give me a chance to speak, something which leads to me getting frustrated and making it even more difficult for me to formulate a sentence to utter. This is especially bad since they also get upset when I do not participate in conversations, discussions, arguments, etc.

I simply do not understand them, and every attempt at communication on my part falls flat and only seems to make things worse. I want to try to leave on somewhat of a high note, as I do not believe that I will be able to bring myself to visit my hometown in the future if this tension persists. For a long time I've wanted to get as far away from this house as possible to escape this feeling of unease, but now that I will be leaving, I want this tension gone so that I can visit my little brother, who I am starting to see exhibit many of the same symptoms I exhibited at that age. How can I make things better? How do I improve my relationship with my parents, even if only a little?

I appreciate any advice you can offer, and I thank you for your time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Once you move out, they should grow to view you as an adult. This will lead to more respect. Hopefully everyone will learn to value the opinions of other family members. It is hard for a parent to stop looking at their child, as a child. Moving out and succeeding is the easiest way to show a parent their child has grown up.

In addition, I found dealing with family for short periods has made our relationship better. I don't annoy them as much, and they don't annoy me as much. I can focus on making good memories, and deal with them for short periods.

They have to be willing to make the effort, too. If you try your best and they don't try at all, a real connection is impossible and you'll just end up getting hurt.

Try to explain yourself to them, and see if they're willing to try to listen and understand and explain themselves back. But if they don't cooperate, don't blame yourself. Some parents just aren't able to accept their kids.