Behavior/discipline advice?

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I am getting a test for Asperger's on Wednesday for myself. My son (5 years old) is going to be assessed soon as well.

I tend to be bothered by noise, volume-neither me or him have volume control. I cannot listen to his stories because he repeats so much and gets louder and louder while talking, I'm very tense when it comes to my personal space and when he is talking he looks at the ceiling and inches closer and closer, lol.

It usually winds up with both of us having a meltdown-him stressed because he cannot get the point he's focusing on out because I'm interrupting, and I'm stressed because he's not hearing me ask him to be quiet since he is focused. Neither of us hear each other and it's chaos by the end of it.

My daughter is almost 3, still not speaking coherently, so I have a feeling we may be in for more, lol. Basically trying to get an idea of what we are in for as he gets older, and as she does if she has it as well.

Right now, if he hurts his sister, he's on the ground rolling and laughing because he thinks it's so funny-she does the same to him. He laughs when in the corner or bangs his head on the wall, spits on things, hits people when they walk past, etc. He can be VERY mean, and when asked why he is being mean, he will just say that he's "exasperated". He has no other reason for it, just that he is frustrated.

I don't know of any ways to discipline, how to get him to listen (as just trying to tell me something is NOT grounds for discipline just because I have troubles with it as well), or how to feel more comfortable.

I don't interact well with them, I never have. There is a bond there, but it's not a typical bond where we go outside and play and stuff, we all ask each other before giving hugs to one another (you would think it was a house rule).

Does anyone have any advice-has anyone else been through this? Are we just butting heads because we are both effected, or is there more to it?

Sorry, I'm not trying to whine-just getting tired of my therapist's advice to "just ignore it" because I can't. I hear the loudness while I'm thinking or doing something, and it's instant-it's like that with anyone, not just him-it goes right to my brain, and I react.

I've been kind of spacing out lately-doing a smile and nod thing when he wants to tell me something... I find a spot on the wall and stare at it-space out until he is done, just so he can get it out faster and I can tune out. Then 10 minutes later I ask him what was wrong and explain that I just didn't hear him properly. It works every once in a while... but it's not quite cutting it. We're still both pretty stressed by the end of most of our every day situations. ....and this isn't the same kind of "just ignore it" that my therapist is suggesting-he's meaning to tell Zack about the loudness and everything (which is very rough to remain calm after the interruptions have already irked me to begin with) and ignore it if he throws a temper tantrum.

But I find myself wondering if this is going to mess him up emotionally-knowing his mommy is ignoring him... not to mention I feel like an absolutely terrible mother for having these problems in the first place

Sorry again for the long post-just had quite a few issues tonight and am finding myself at my wit's end quite often with it lately.

Welcome to WP,

I am very tired, and I just don't have it in me to focus on your post tonight But I'll be back in the PM. I am sure you will get lots of great advice and help here.

One thing about your own spacing out I wonder if you have insurance, if you would be willing to try an attention aiding drug like Strattera? It is not in the Ritalin family, my son has had great luck with it, I have joked about putting the whole family on it. I know it is hard to focus sometimes on the chatter of children, but it really is important to at least try and fake it! You may want to explain to your child too, that you have a problem with paying attention and sometimes may not be doing the best job listening, but you really do want to know what he has to say, so could you repeat that please?"

First Thank you very much for the response.

It's a very very difficult situation to describe. Things that seems so easy and so simple for some reason are so incredibly complicated in my mind. I overanalyze everything and am already stressed 24/7 to begin with. One would probably describe me as extremely high strung, lol.

Currently, I'm not diagnosed with anything (100% positive however what results will be on Wednesday). My medicaid ran out, I guess I would be a bit of a lower functioning Aspie. While I want what is best for the family, I'm horrible at prioritizing and getting things done (I honestly wish I had someone to make phone calls for me to make sure they got done as I have missed soooo many important things).

I'm trying to do the best that I can without medications, as I'm often on things for other health problems already and forget to take them a lot of the time. Once I get to the medicaid thing... well, we are in Missouri, with the oh so lovely Mr. Matt Blunt, lol. Half of my meds have not been covered by medicaid, and I haven't been able to work in over 5 years. I just can't do it-I don't know why... I either fail miserably or have enough meltdowns to where they just fire me. I've had numerous jobs not lasting longer than a week though.

It's not even the attention thing-the spacing out is to keep me from throwing an adult "temper tantrum". I get upset, I start rocking, I start smacking my hands on things, I start pacing, eventually yelling and having to leave the room to cry-all because of a simple sound interrupting my thoughts... a sound that I *should* have absolutely no problem listening to. I do alright on some days, but more often I wind up having a meltdown. I really don't know what it is. I also tend to get absorbed into anything I'm doing and don't notice things going on around me (my daughter has colored an entire wall right next to me and I didn't notice because I was checking my e-mail).

Nothing dangerous has ever happened, and I know how spacy/focused on things I get, so things are blocked off and put up EXTREMELY well due to this.

It just sucks... it sucks feeling so detached, it sucks not being able to focus on anything more than exactly what I'm doing... it sucks to get that lost in thought to where I can't handle it if someone interrupts it. It's not right... it's chaotic... and most of all, it's not good for my children, or myself. All 3 of us are like this once we get involved in doing something, and the things he comes to tell me when it bothers me are things he finds as major crisises (i.e. the doorknob not turning all the way or getting stuck), so it makes it harder because he's so worked up.

Okay, I'm admitting, lol, I am whining this time. It just feels so hopeless, I've tried removing anything I'm interested into other rooms so that he has my full attention and I still just get so lost in thought I don't hear anything and get frustrated if interrupted. It's really really bad, and I don't know what to do until I get to seeing a specialist. Of course since I'm very concerned about this right now, I don't even care about seeing the specialist at the moment, lol-it's so bad for all of us I just... I don't know-maybe even just not feeling alone with a situation like this would be better than what I have right now.

My boyfriend is supportive, but doesn't understand the root of all the problems. He sees me getting so upset over such silly little things, but he doesn't feel how loud it sounds in my head if I'm focused and hear something unexpected. He also sees me getting that worked up and when he sees it start, he gets frustrated as well that Zack won't take five minutes and let me chill before continuing his story, lol. I have to explain to my bf constantly, it's really NOTHING that Zack is doing, it's a "me" thing.

Don't get me wrong either, lol-I will listen and attempt any advice possible for the most part. I'm not stuck in this "it's hopeless and it can't change" thing... I just feel stuck at the moment because I don't know of anyone else in this type of situation, and don't know what to do.

My therapist knows nothing of Asperger's either, so he's treating it solely as an emotional thing. I don't know if he'll be able to do anything else for me after my test, but I do know he doesn't understand the severity of the situation at all, not yet at least.

Again, I have brain drain, just too late at night! LoL!

I really just want you to know, it is not hopeless! Have you posted this sort of stuff to general chat lately, there may be some people that have advice for somethings, cheeper meds, (I really think you should explore that as an option for the attention and anxiety problems, you owe it to your kids to at least try, ask your boyfriend to help remind you, get a pharmisist to foil pack them etc). Don't stay on anything that is not helping or making you feel bad, but still, many people do find help with meds and can't imagine life after them.

Also I know I have heard of people talk about methods they use to self talk themselves through things. I know this sounds really generic, (pitifully so) I just can't think right now, I'll write more in the morning!

no-not at all, self talking would be the BEST method for me right now. I'm sorry I'm so longwinded, lol-I'm absolutely terrible at it. I post a lot of things on general, have been a member for quite a while, but I just don't feel quite comfortable bringing this out there especially since i am exceptionally longwinded when it comes to this sort of thing, lol. I could go on for pages and pages if I don't stop myself, and every time I'll think of different things that happen, etc.

Overanalyzing ftw

As far as meds, I'd be up for *trying* them, but am extremely leery of taking anything that is going to help my focus, lol, as I already get so involved I hear absolutely nothing around me when I'm doing something, I'd hate it if that managed to increase along with it, lol.

I tried ritalin about 6-7 years back and it was horrible, it worked like speed for me. I was zipping all over, was more flaky than usual (if that's possible) and retained absolutely nothing. It was as if I was going through life in fast forward rather than actually being able to slow down and enjoy anything at all. My mind races all the time anyway, and it also increased that, which led to lots of migraines, lol.

I don't know about the other one though, I might check into that if the effects aren't as strong While I wouldn't mind being like Mighty Mouse as a mom, I'd like to be able slow things down a bit sometimes and just enjoy things Lol, and when I say "slow things down" I mean my mind-if that pesky thing wasn't going all the time I have a feeling things would be a lot different, lol.

***edit: lol-I just realized I wrote I was a member for quite a while then realized what the date is-my sense of time is absolutely terrible, lol.

oh, and thanks again and again and again, lol, for listening to me vent and all Despite how my responses may come across, I am genuinely thankful for any advice offered and will take all into consideration. I just get stuck in overthinking, so ignore if they sound a bit too absorbed in the situation or make me seem blind to options.

Hi, I just wanted to let you know, that a drug like strattera is nothing at all like "speed". It does relieve a lot of the ADHD symptoms, and it also seems to have an anxiety relieving effect. My son is having a great results with it now that the dosage is right and he is taking it every day! That said, it is horribly expensive and I am not sure if Medicad weould cover it, we can only afford it because of my husbands drug plan, and I am complaining about the price of it in Canada, which I am sure is less then you would be charged.

One thing that I have found helps in our house is a pair of wireless headphones. We all go into sensory overload and the house is very small. So if I need a break, I put the headphones on and listen to some music, my oldest son will let me know if anything urgent happens with the younger kids, it is our own homegrown variety of "babysitting" however I am still in the house and the headphones are not so dampening that I would not hear a major occurance!

I would suggest even a pair of industrial ear muffs if you need to block out noise because you are going into overload, but don't have the luxury of locking yourself away. Tell your son that you are having a "time out"! LoL!

Hopefully you will be getting some answers in a few days time that will be helpful and you can get services for you and your son. Are you a single mom? It sounds that way, and that really is tough. Maybe with an AS Diagnosis you could get some help, but since you are in the states, I would hate to see you get intangled with Social Services and people who don't understand... it may make things worse, not better.

As for the whole disapline thing, I think you need to just make up some hard and fast "rules" and stick to them like glue. Hitting should never be tolerated. If you become aware of it, it should be an immediate time out. Don't make a big deal about it, don't get side tracked with other stuff if your child starts to mouth off, just simply state "we don't hit in this house, you know you need to go to your room for now". Then go take a breather yourself.

I think it is important to notice the warning signs of a melt down in yourself, and move to stop it before it gets to the point you leave to cry. Even if you just leave to take a few deep breaths. Do you have any parenting or councelling programs available? I think 1,2,3 magic may work for you. This is not about being a "bad parent" and take a class to learn how not to kill your kids! I am talking about things that any parent can use some help with, like how to disapline your children.

I also would like to suggest, you can't change it all at once. Pick a few things to work on, and work on those things. When they are mostly under control, then move onto another couple. Lets just say, the hitting thing and learning to remove yourself from a situation prior to blowing up. Don't worry about all the other things for now.

I hope this helps, good luck with the DX!

Oh, one other thing, you really should check out this book: the explosive child. They have a website, it really is good, I liked it a lot it gave a lot of great advice, and other members here like it too, they also discovered it on their own!
http://www.explosivechild.com/

Wow! So much information to take in Thank you very much ^^

Here, strattera probably is horribly expensive, lol, but once I get dx, I might be able to get extra help with things like that seeing as medicaid probably won't cover it, lol. I've even heard medicaid was denying (not sure if it still is) MRI's for epileptic children when this guy first got in there and started yanking things off of it.

The ritulin might not have worked as I do have some major anxiety things going on and get superfocused easily, so yeah, I'll be finding out a lot-will be referred to the right docs and all of that. I would definitely be up for a try. I would LOVE to spend 10 minutes with my kids without constantly looking for an out because of too much overload at once It's depressing, lol.

I don't have any headphones, but I do take occasional time-outs. It's generally when I up and tell the kids I'm going downstairs to switch out loads of laundry, and stay down there for about 10 minutes sometimes. My 5 year old helps me a lot with the 2 year old oddly-but mainly because she likes interaction a LOT and he likes to play with the things she does. So for the most part they just kind of hang out together.

Hitting isn't tolerated-the corner doesn't work and I'm always worried when sending him to his room as he starts to break his sister's toys and bangs his head extremely hard on the walls, screams, punches the door, etc. But it works for now until I can get into some sort of counselling with him to work on that particular issue. I don't think he'd hurt hisself, and if he does hurt hisself I'm sure he will stop.

As far as social services around here, I'm actually quite surprised. I've seen children be taken away for seemingly silly things, but I've actually been visited by them a few times (due to complaints of false accusations)-they know about when I was diagnosed with BPD and didn't react to that at all. They asked how I coped and said okay. Turns out I DON'T have BPD, but it is interesting that they didn't even flinch about the idea of it-they just wanted to make sure I remove myself from the situation when I feel overwhelmed (as in going into another room or something).

My son has even returned from his bio father's house with a broken arm (his father claimed he didn't know how it happened) and of course since I took him to the hospital, they investigated me more than they did him-but they were happy with me and said they wished they could find a way to prove it happened over there so something could be done about the situation. Doctor said it appeared that someone yanked his arm really hard because of the way the bone was fractured
(Luckily, he doesn't come around anymore-so no more fears of even worse happening-yay!)

So I don't think they would look at it as anything bad. I may not be able to work, and may not have the *best* relationship with my children, but they are taken care of and loved very much, I don't hurt them or anything, and they appear to be very happy So they haven't ever said anything at all, and have offered someone to come in and work with them-which I will probably take up during the summer if college classes don't overwhelm me too much, or if they can do evenings while I'm not in classes

Yes, I am a single mom-it is really really rough. My boyfriend comes over once or twice a week to have dinner with us and such, and he watches them while I'm at my therapy appointments. He says he wants to pull out his hair by the end of them usually, lol, and leaves immediately after to go home and sleep (LOL!). He's also noticing things while he is here so that I have more information for the doctors-such as last time he realized it doesn't matter how angry he looks or sounds, it doesn't matter the facial expression or anything, Zack just doesn't react to it at all-it doesn't phase him. I have known this for a while, but I thought I was just really bad at trying to look mean, lol.

Hitting is never tolerated in our house, but Zack does have a lot of difficulties when it comes to how he is disciplined vs. how his 2 year old sister is. He doesn't understand why he has to stand in the corner longer, or has to go to his room, and Libby gets a 2 minute time out, an explanation of what she did and why she is in trouble, and she has to say sorry to everyone for it. He doesn't get the age difference, but he'll say "oh well, I guess that's just how it is-Libby is little so she doesn't understand as well as I do", but he only says that because that's how I try to explain it, lol.

Thank you so much for the response. I will work on removing myself from the situation for sure before it gets out of hand It's a bit rough if it just surprises me to actually think about doing so, I always leave right at the point of breakdown, lol.

Can you make his room a safe place for him to be unsupervised?

I really am not a huge fan of the corner. It requires a child to still be in the room. They have to totally control their compulsions, stand facing one direction. It is a form of torture for the ADD or AS child. On your end, you need to supervise it. You get angry if they turn around or get distracted and walk away. They can still say things, interact with the others, upset them, hurl insults, etc.

If they are in a separate room, they can kick, scream, yell shout, flip out, act out, it is not any one elses problem but theirs. Eventually they will calm down, and be ready to join the rest of the family again and behave in a more civil manner.

With a young child, you don't want to leave them alone too long, just long enough to calm down, and give everyone a breather. It is important though, that they know there is no out but acceptable behavior, they are not going to come out of their room throwing a full fledged tempertantrum, ready to attack everyone all over again. Sometimes with my son it was nessisary after a few minutes to go in and calmly talk things over, or physically hold him until he calmed down.

The point is, you want the time out to be about what he did wrong, and not snowball into all the offenses he commits while taking his timeout! That is why a room is needed, a place that is calming, non stimulating, a place he will not be distracted by shinny toys or people, a place that he cannot distrupt other people or forget he is supposed to be calming down. A corner just does not do this, it is impossible on the child, it is still distruptive to the others in the room, it tends to snowball into other "issues" the focus changing from the reason why the time out was initiated in the first place, to getting on his case for not doing the time out properly.

In the end, by putting him in a room, you will probably end up saving yourself from melting down too!

yeah, the corner thing just doesn't work-he'll spit on the wall and lick it and stuff which is just gross to begin with, and disgusting to watch, lol. He'll spin, hit his arms on the walls and stuff-the corner is just ridiculous really. People keep telling me to try and I'm like "it doesn't work"... their response is that I'm just not consistent enough with it That's a bit frustrating.


He's stayed in his room for a good while before, but I go in every 5 minutes to remind him that when he calms down we can talk and he can come out. He screams exceptionally loud and the banging on the walls is extremely stressful to me as well-besides worrying about him hurting hisself, the random noises are frustrating, lol... but I guess that is where headphones would come in handy Then as soon as I hear nothing, I go and get him and have him tell whoever he did whatever to that he is sorry, etc., and then he gives them a hug

I have not tried holding him down-I've heard that can help a lot when they are in overload mode. Kind of brings them back to their senses in a way, and I guess in a way the freedom of running and hitting things and all is just more overload.

He does this whining thing a lot when he doesn't get his way-it sounds like a puppy whining to go outside, and he will do it for HOURS sometimes. Just recently when he starts I walk over and give him a really tight hug and rock him, and he calms down a lot faster I wish someone would do that to me sometimes, lol!! !!

It is very hard to not react to him hitting things and all, and tacking that onto the punishment. I usually find something to do while he is in his room, something to focus on so that I can space out, and I set a timer to go off every 5 minutes so I can go check on his state and see if he's ready to come out or to talk

Gah, I can't say thank you enough-it's so nice to know I'm not alone!! ! HUGE relief! ...and even though I feel so horrible, it's so nice to know some of the things I am doing are the right direction to be heading in

yeah, the corner thing just doesn't work-he'll spit on the wall and lick it and stuff which is just gross to begin with, and disgusting to watch, lol. He'll spin, hit his arms on the walls and stuff-the corner is just ridiculous really. People keep telling me to try and I'm like "it doesn't work"... their response is that I'm just not consistent enough with it That's a bit frustrating.[/quote]

Ok, then, stop doing it. It has nothing to do with your consistancy, and like you just pointed out, his spittting and licking then becomes the focus of the "corner time" not the reason why he is there in the first place.




Your coming in and out could actually prolong the tandrum. If his is AS, going in and trying to explain things in a meltdown, is not going to be very effective, the changing status of your presence or not can trigger an increase in anxiety from him, either when you walk in or when you leave. I would suggest that you either put him in his room, and wait for him to be quiet, or go in his room, and just sit in a corner not talking to him until he is calm. (Get some industrial ear muffs!) What he does, that is his business, if he wants to spit on the wall, carry on, yell scream, hit things, don't interfere, let him find his centre of control again on his own. If he does not mind being touched, then perhaps grab onto him and hold him tightly, don't let him out, kind of like wrapping a blanket tightly around a colicy baby. If you see things in his room that are potentially unsafe, monitor it, make a mental note to remove them after the tantrum is over, try to not find yourself in a powerstruggle with him over them though, unless it is actually an eminant danger, leave it for the time being.

One other thing you could try, is I have heard of one parent who actually during a tantrum, will sit on the floor with their back turned to the child and ignore them until they calm down. This does not involve a time out, and I can see how it would work. However, I don't think it would really be a good idea in situations that involve acting out against other people or things, like spitting on the wall, or hitting someone.


I mentioned it again, if he really does not like being held, this is not a good option, use your discretion, or trial and error.




Yes it it hard, but it is crucial that you interfere as little as possible, and keep the focus of the punishment on the thing that first happened, not the aftermath. Children with AS or even ADD / ADHD have a hard time following a sequence of things, it is like you say, "go to your room, in your closet are some sneakers, bring them downstairs, put them on, tie them up, go get your backpack put your books in it, and wait for me, I'll just be a minute". By the time you said the 2nd or third thing, they lost you! You need to chunk things and give simple directions. Say "go get your sneakers in your closet, then come see what to do next". (Even that you may need to repeat on a bad day!)

Punishments are the same thing, if the Child does A, so you do B, that is what you are trying to focus on, teaching them not to do A, or that A is wrong. But, if they then do C, as a reaction to B, and you then incorporate D along with B as the punishment, now to teach them not to do A and C! Now they do E, and you do F. So now they have done A, C, and E and you are upset, trying to teach that these 3 things are all wrong, and by that point, does anyone remember anymore what A was? What is being taught? Anything? Or are just in a full fledged meltdown / powerstruggle with both of you going crazy?

So, does that mean that C and E should be ignored? It depends, usually the answer is YES! The meltdown is not about C and E, it is about A, focus on that, don't let him divert your attention! This is where time outs in a safe zone and ear plugs come in handy! Try to prevent C and E from happening in the first place.

Lets just say that you send him to his room, and he tips over his dresser in his freak out! What is getting upset about that going to do? It diverts the attention from the problem by creating another problem! Ignore it, really, I am serious, provided that he did not hurt himself in the process, ignore it. Also make a mental note to fasten it to a wall in the future so that it can't happen again. (You can buy fasteners at a hardware store for real cheap!). You can't teach a child the appropreate way to freak out, or that their unacceptable behavior has bounderies, they just don't get things at that level! After the meldown is over, and you are in the appologies part of things, ask them to help you straighten out the damage. "Can you help me put your dresser back?" "Can you help me straighten out the clothes you threw everywhere?" "Can you help wash the wall you covered in spit?" Usually you will have a much more agreeable child and they will learn some responsibility for their actions at the same time!


Gah, I can't say thank you enough-it's so nice to know I'm not alone!! ! HUGE relief! ...and even though I feel so horrible, it's so nice to know some of the things I am doing are the right direction to be heading in [/quote]

Right, I see. I don't think I do this too often as I have a lot of troubles when someone is telling me how to do something or asking me to do something and throwing a lot of directions at me at once-I'll just kind of stand there or will grab onto one of the things and do that-and it'll be the ONLY thing I get done, lol-always have been like that.

But I also have trouble keeping myself from reacting to other things-I can see easily where that would divert attention from a punishment; and that goes for both of us, lol-I often find myself not remembering what he was originally punished for if I start focusing on something else. We can always do the other things later on to "clean up" the mess, and I do this from time to time-this is where I need to remain consistent. When I do let it go and ask him for help later he is usually more than happy to help clean up the mess

I also just thought of another thing I need to work on. While my routine is very... laid back due to having kids (anything can happen to delay stuff), I do have some things that frustrate me a great deal if they are not done "on time". One big one is bed-time.

Now, I know I only get 3-4 hours of sleep a night normally because I'm up doing things, my mind is racing, etc. I don't go to sleep at the same time every night. Yet, I have a time I'm wanting them to go to bed at, and hearing them giggle and such really bugs me because they are supposed to be going to bed.

How do I get around the stress of my routine (them going to bed at 8:00 every night) and focus more on the fact it's highly doubtful that he is going to be able to go to sleep since he has the same difficulties I do most likely?

Stupid question I know-I just answered it, but it's a lot different thinking about something logically and actually being able to do it because I have reasons for the routines that I do have and greatly dislike my routines not going smoothly. Should I write a post it note or something as a reminder? lol-any suggestions on how to battle my AS and remember his as well when it comes to that?

Consistency is the key, however don't be hard on yourself if it does not happen all at once. Just make sure if you start to repeat old patterns that you recognize it, and refect on what you could have done better / what you would do if the same thing happened next time!

For your own sleep, make sure you mention that at your appointment, it is a very common symptom of AS, being unable to shut off your brain at night! LoL! I am sure that is why my father was a night time alcoholic! (Not recommended, but 4-6 beer in a 3 hour period does put most people to sleep). I would talk about taking something for sleep, being tired throughout the day is probably not helping your coping skills. I know a lot of nurses who take gravol at night as a sleeping aid. It gives just enough to make them sleepy, but not give the typical sleeping pill hangover in the morning. I have given my son it too on nights he has trouble sleeping.

As for your children, do they have their own rooms or are they together? Are they talking to themselves, or to eachother? With both of them, I suggest a very solid bedtime routine. Have a bath everynight, brush teeth, get on PJ's, have a story, maybe a sip or two of water, say your "goodnights" or sing a bedtime song. All this stuff makes kids start to unwind once the routine begins. I had two kids (2 and 4) that where up until we went to bed, like 9 /10 o'clock at night. It was ridiculous. Now they very happily go to bed at 7:30 - 8:00 so I know first hand what routine does for childrens bedtimes. It is great having that time every evening to myself. And yes, even a child with AS should have a regular bed time. One thing I may suggest with him is listening to some soft music (something relaxing, not stimulating, think pan flute, not G&R or AC/DC in the kids music market!) or even after the routine, let him look at some picture books for 15 minutes before lights out.

[quote
As for your children, do they have their own rooms or are they together? Are they talking to themselves, or to eachother? With both of them, I suggest a very solid bedtime routine. Have a bath everynight, brush teeth, get on PJ's, have a story, maybe a sip or two of water, say your "goodnights" or sing a bedtime song. All this stuff makes kids start to unwind once the routine begins. I had two kids (2 and 4) that where up until we went to bed, like 9 /10 o'clock at night. It was ridiculous. Now they very happily go to bed at 7:30 - 8:00 so I know first hand what routine does for childrens bedtimes. It is great having that time every evening to myself. And yes, even a child with AS should have a regular bed time. One thing I may suggest with him is listening to some soft music (something relaxing, not stimulating, think pan flute, not G&R or AC/DC in the kids music market!) or even after the routine, let him look at some picture books for 15 minutes before lights out.[/quote]

Very good idea. We have the basic routine set up with bath, jammies, teeth brushing, then bedtime stories. I have an alarm clock I don't use that plays some nature sounds-I hadn't given that much thought as my mother got them into a habit when we lived with her of watching movies to go to sleep It's rough getting them out of that and I'm sure that has a lot to do with it

Currently they share a room-2 year old babbles incoherently and the 5 year old is often laughing at her. She just graduated to a "big girl bed" last night and it seemed to help a bit as well as she wasn't throwing a fit and actually opted to lay down for once (the main thing that kept me from converting her bed up until now, lol-many failing attempts due to her staying up til midnight having free range to roam). I have only a 2 bedroom place, and will have to look into something bigger soon enough, but for now, they share. Thank you very much for the suggestions

I'll definitely check into the meds for sleep-I've tried over the counter stuff and all it does is knock me out for an hour then I wake up fully energized, or it'll have reverse effect and make me hyper, lol. I don't drink, or I would definitely try the beer route, lol. Right now sleep is going alright (been getting 4-5 hours each night!! ! *and the peasants rejoice*)-dentist has me in vicodin for a pretty rough tooth problem.

I can't wait to take the test on Wednesday, lol, because then I'll at least have a bit of certainty for myself, and they can actually take a direction with things rather than not knowing I'm 100% sure we (both me and my son) both have it, so I'm not nervous about it-just really happy to get it out of the way, lol. I have a feeling in a few years I'll be getting an assessment for my daughter too as she seems to show some traits of her own (things me and my son don't do).