Starting middle school

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Anyone else's kid starting middle school this year? I don't know who is more nervous here, me or her.

My daughter is 10, about to enter 6th grade (turns 11 early in school year). She has been fully mainstreamed without any supports since 4th grade. Previous to that, she was in a mainstream classroom with social supports. This year she is going to be in an integrated class room. The student-teacher ratio is smaller, there is a spec ed teacher in each classroom, and her classes are closer to her locker, which was attractive to me because the school has 3 floors. She was involved in the decision to get "extra help," (not be in an unsupported mainstream setting) and she is completely happy with it. But I still don't know if she really "gets it." She still does not "know" her diagnosis. She knows her "brain works differently" and that she has issues with social skills. But she has never seemed interested in knowing about her diagnosis.

She is still pretty naive and immature socially. I am really nervous about what will happen in middle school. I am afraid this will be the first year where there is a huge gap between her and her peers and I am afraid she will not be able to keep up with her typical friends. I guess I don't really have a question here, just looking for commiseration.

My older son is going to middle school. He is not on the spectrum, but is super short, super skinny, has serious executive functioning issues, mild dyslexia, adhd, is pretty "young" for his age, and kind of geeky. He also has multiple food allergies, some of them life threatening. So, I am kind of freaking out too. He also has not one of his old friends going to his middle school (there are several to choose from in our district).

He will be getting less support this year. I hope it goes well. Luckily, his new middle school is pretty small, and the administration seems really supportive.

Unfortunately, groups of friends tend to drift apart in middle school. I told my son that this often happens. That middle school is the time when people change their interests/ appearance/ friends a lot, and that it is just the age when it happens. I told him to not take it personally if he finds that he and his old friends (at other schools nearby) find they hang out less, or drift apart. If somebody wants to hang out with other kids more, it just means that it is time for him to find new friends that he has more in common with. I also told him that it may take him some time before he finds the kids that he really clicks with, and not to think that there is anything wrong with him if it takes a few weeks, or even longer. I told him that this is completely normal.

I wish your daughter the best. If it helps, I have a friend whose daughter is on the spectrum and went to a mainstream middle school. She did drift apart from her old friends, as they started hanging out with more socially savvy kids than her once they got into middle school. She was very hurt at first, but then she soon found other friends who are still her best friends to this day (she is in her mid twenties). She was fine.

Oh, and: Hi! I haven't seen you here lately.

It's been a long time. Not for any particular reason. I had a very demanding job with high stress levels. 50+ hours per week, plus about 2 hours of commute a day.

Got a new job, closer to home, more reasonable expectations. So, hopefully my life will go back to being a regular life instead of a constant battle to reign in my stress level. The kids are both very happy about it