ASD, ADHD and OCD overlaps

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My son is 6 and though we've been in the system for anxiety and selective mutism for a few years now, he just got diagnosed with ASD and we've had a few Drs mention ADHD and OCD. Any ideas on how to tell them apart from each other? Basically trying to figure out how to treat some behaviors (tantrums, rigidity, defiance) and not sure from which perspective to go about it. I'd also be happy with some book recommendations that talk about kids with more than one of these.
Thanks!