3 year old Cousin

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I just thought it would be ok to post this here

I have a 3 year old cousin who shows few behaviours that I have observed and a couple of them I just heard of, these are:
- He is always running here and there, and he is never quiet for any second, apparently only when he is sleeping.
- He always throw tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants or when he is upset
- He doesn't want to do what his parents tell him something to do
- He had refused to brush his teeth and eat with forks propertly when being told, he had done it only by imitating other kids doing it, with potty training was the same
- He sometimes hit other kids or push them
- He always put things on his mouth

With those behaviours I came to the conclusion of a great possibility of ADHD. But there are two other things that he also shows that makes me wonder:
- Obsession with car toys, he seems to be interested in this type of activity only and ignore everything else. Even on TV only likes to see car or train based animation and ignores everything else.
- He only wants to eat one type of food, in this case chocolate, is a big problem to get him to eat other meals.
- He seems to have some kind of stimming when he is excited about something, arm movements

My question is are these things aspie traits or also part of ADHD, if he really does have ADHD? and does he has the posibility of having Asperger's Syndrome taking in account the other symptoms mentioned.

His father (my uncle) have OCD traits, they are not extreme but it seems he might have a mild form of OCD.

He sounds like more ADHD to me, but thats just my opinion. My brother has a dx ADHD, and he did all those when he was younger.

I am putting in bold, what traits I think sound like AS, ADHD, or both...


I have a 3 year old cousin who shows few behaviours that I have observed and a couple of them I just heard of, these are:
- He is always running here and there, and he is never quiet for any second, apparently only when he is sleeping. ADHD
- He always throw tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants or when he is upsetADHD or AS
- He doesn't want to do what his parents tell him something to doAS or a conduct disorder
- He had refused to brush his teeth and eat with forks propertly when being told, he had done it only by imitating other kids doing it, with potty training was the same maybe AS, lots of young NTS are like this though
- He sometimes hit other kids or push them ADHD, conduct disorder, maybe AS
- He always put things on his mouth Strange quirk or AS Do you know why he does this?

With those behaviours I came to the conclusion of a great possibility of ADHD. But there are two other things that he also shows that makes me wonder:
- Obsession with car toys, he seems to be interested in this type of activity only and ignore everything else. Even on TV only likes to see car or train based animation and ignores everything else.AS. Some doctors joke you could name a form of Autism called "thomas the tank engine syndrome!
- He only wants to eat one type of food, in this case chocolate, is a big problem to get him to eat other meals. Lots of kids like chocolate. Not sure if this is AS or spoiled brat syndrome! In any regard, I would cut him off completely until his eating improves, maybe just give him chocolate milk, as it is just as good for you as white milk
- He seems to have some kind of stimming when he is excited about something, arm movementsOnly when he is excited? It could be As, or ADHD, or just lots of pent up energy, does he rock or spin? Stimming I found with my son (aspie) gets worse around 7-8 years old

I would print off some info for his parents, see if they are open to the idea, really a doctor is best to make a call to this, and parents will be more in tune with what their child does and does not do.

How are his social skills? Does he seem immature? Does he do a lot of inappropreate things? Did he hit all the normal developmental milestones on time? Does he seem to have problems with certain sounds, textures, lights? Does he need structure or routine or he falls apart? HOw is he with changes? How is his imagination? When he plays, is he using make believe with people (things like a train delivering passengers) or just moving them around? If he is "playing with pretend elements," could you find a movie or past experiance that he is recreating almost verbatum? Does he line objects up, or stack things or have other unusual play?

I can see why you have some concerns with him, but there are a lot of other areas that children with As have problems in.

Last edited by EarthCalling on 18 May 2007, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yea I can see what you mean, He could also just have OCD, and ODD, and ADHD which all can fit in those criteria. I guess I'm the wrong person to be replying, from what you were telling me, it just seemed more along the lines of ADHD, with OCD, and ODD. All those though relate to AS.

I dont know why he does this but he puts everything he touches in his mouth or he sucks things


That is exactly the show he watches, according to what his father said that is the only thing he cares about from TV, so there is a suggestion of AS, isn't it?


He does this siwnging movements with his arms that looks like he is imitating a butterfly flying real fast, he does it when he is very happy about something or when he is scared, actually I do that too, it seems that besides him I am the only one in the family who does that (if that can be called actually stimming) Besides that, to my knowledge he does not have any other type of stimming.


That is what I am doing I am collecting information that has to do with ADD/ADHD, OCD and AS and I will print it to show it to him, the problem is that my uncle (kid's father) seems to be the type that will deny it, but I am gonna try anyway.


I don't live with them to really observe everything he does, but what I've seen is that apparently he doesn't show social skills, he pushes other kids, he doesn't share anything, althought he is sweet, he smiles and hugs an adult if he feels comfortable with any, he doesn't seem to understand well what he is suppouse to do.

I think he lacks motor coordination or motor skills, he often destroys and break his toys, drools a little. When he is playing with cars, he doesn't show a sign to be pretending or to imagine being in another world, he just moves the cars around.

Thanks, for the reply and for the insight, is this a good possibility of AS with ADHD?

I think that AS with ADHD is a definate possibility, especially with the social problems, but otherwise being a sweet little guy and the moving cars around. The Thomas thing is probably his first real deep rooted obsession. What will be intersting to see, is if around 6-8 years of age what it gets replaced with! Lots of NT kids love Thomas, usually not all encompassing, but still, they do like the show a lot! But when they grow out of it, they have a diverse range of interests as an older child. Sure, they may have a new "favourite" but it is not all encompassing. Children with AS seem to switch their energy onto one or two other narrow interests, with my son, it was pokemon and ghostbusters!

Good luck, your uncle is not the first parent to stick his head in the sand...

Thank you for the insight, I appreciate it

My son is a lot like that, but what my therapist really looked at was that when he plays with legos and such, he plays by stacking them solely by color or lining them up by color. If he builds a house out of them, he only uses one color-he also notices if he is missing one of his legos and gets very upset if he doesn't have the right amount of red legos. Also, if he's trying to show someone something and they ask him to do something else, he'll keep repeating "but I have to show you this first-isn't it neat?" and he'll do it over and over.

A lot of people attribute the seeming lack of focus and running around as an ADHD/ADD trait. However, if this child has no structure to his day, he may literally not know what to do and how to do it. My son is "classic autistic" and before we introduced any kind of therapy/preschool, he was just like that. Ran around from furniture to furniture, climbed stuff, screamed, picked things up, threw them, opened doors all over, put stuff in his mouth.
He still has a hard time with "free choice" and open ended questions and tasks. But he likes having places to sit and specific things to do. I used to call what he did as "Hellen Kellering", because it seemed to be just out of control craziness.

Depends on "how three" he is. If he's just three, closer to 2, I think its normal. We have a saying among our friends and family - its not the terrible twos, its the terrible threes! And we have just one ASD child in our family. (My stepson is LFA but is not biologically related to my kids.)

If he's closer to four I think there is more cause for concern. But a lot of that sounds like typical 3 year old things. 3 year olds are funny creatures, they go from baby to kid during the fourth year (ages 3 to 4) and there is a lot of adjustment to that. My DD (nearly 3) has absolutely no red flags for any ASDs, but still doesn't want to use utensils. Who would? I mean, if you could get away with using your fingers for everything, rather than manipulating utensils, wouldn't you? (I would!) And for many children, the suck instinct isn't gone until 4 or even 5 years of age - totally normal - which could explain him always putting things in his mouth.

As far as eating only certain things - ask any pediatrician - its very common for 2 and 3 year olds to do this. My youngest went through a mac and cheese thing. She HAD to have mac and cheese and there was no telling her otherwise. I brought it up to her ped and my oldests dietician who both said it was really normal for kids to do that at this age.

The majority of 2 and 3 year olds thrive on routine, not just ASD kids. If he doesn't have a routine, he could be acting out, looking for some structure. Kids like to know their place and role in the world, and if there is no routine, its harder for them to see where they fit in. Its a developmental thing at this age - not always an ASD thing.

The other things could be indicators of an issue - or not. If it were me, I would encourage the parents to try some of the parenting strategies that parents of ASD or ADHD kids use. They can't hurt him at all and he would probably benefit from it. I often think that the parenting tips for ASD kids should be used for NT kids too.

lol, I'm 26 and have this problem still

lol, me too and I'm 37! Despite the stereotype of all autistics obsessing over the same thing for hours, many of us obsess over a variety of things and if there is no structure to the day-we may just float from one thing to the next. My husband has a picture in his mind what he intends to do and will do it. I make "plans" and then 4 hours later I'm still plastered to the computer-ungroomed, undressed and whining that my day is gone.
I have to write things down and make myself do things, even fun things.

He turns 4 in November so that makes him 3.5 right now, I just printed information from the web about ADHD and about AS and the Thomas the tank engine thing, and I will give it to my uncle this weekend when I'll meet him, I don't know how he'll take it, he probably would read it out of curiousity, but don't know if he will think of it as a possibility.

The reason I suspected of him as possibly AS in the first place is that I was just like him when I was little, I wasn't that hyperactive though, but I used to do certain things he does now, like distroying toys and pushing other kids smaller than me, as well as the "stimming". I think I am the only one in the family that is like him. Another thing that could be a possibly a relation, my uncle was 45 when he was born.

He seems to be like me in many ways, he has the same fears I have, of course it is a normal for a 3 year old, but that would be too seen when he gets older.

Sorry-not quite following there. Relation to the possible AS? or that he might not listen about it?

I wouldn't think age would have anything to do with it as it seems to be a genetic thing.

I am not sure of that, but I read that from the wikipedia page of autism.

"In addition, a study published in 2006 suggested that males over 40 are more likely than younger males to parent a child with autism, and that the ratio of autism incidence in males and females is closer to 1:1 with older fathers."

interesting, but odd at the same time, lol. Now I'm all confused