Page 1 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Joshandspot
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 173
Location: Nyack, NY

05 May 2007, 12:03 pm

I am currently only 20 years old and have been diagnosed with AS. I was wondering, however, the odds that if I was to one day have a child, he or she would have it too?



willem
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2007
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,148
Location: Cascadia

05 May 2007, 1:01 pm

Those odds would be substantial, but consider that your child would be lucky to have an Aspie dad, who has learned a thing or two about how to survive with AS. If I were about to become a dad, I would hope my child would be an Aspie, because otherwise I'd be largely clueless as to how I should raise him or her.


_________________
There is nothing that is uniquely and invariably human.


SeriousGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,067
Location: the Witness Protection Program

05 May 2007, 1:08 pm

According to Attwood, the odds are 46% if you had a child with an NT partner. I think an NT child would have a much bigger problem dealing with your AS than a child with AS. That is something to think about too.


_________________
If the topic is small, why talk about it?


Corsarzs
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 366
Location: Virginia, USA

05 May 2007, 7:47 pm

SeriousGirl wrote:
According to Attwood, the odds are 46% if you had a child with an NT partner.


Round it up to 50/50, think about it and make your decision. Any child is a unique person and all will present you with spectacular challenges. If you likie children and want to be a father, by all means have them. Just remember, none of them come with an instruction manual.

If you have kids keep in touch here, Z wants to be a dad if he can get over "what you have to do to have babies", He is 10. Anyway you may be able to give him advice in the future about how to deal with either NT or AS children. [I'm always looking ahead.]

My final comment [for now] kids are great, if you can love, respect, protect and guide them do so, it will pay you in ways you cannot understand until you do.


_________________
Aspies, the next step in evolution?


ster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,485
Location: new england

05 May 2007, 9:24 pm

i'm NT & my hubby is aspie....out of our 3 children, only one is NT



9CatMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,403

05 May 2007, 9:33 pm

At my age (42), there are substantial risks if I have a child. I don't see myself getting married anyway. I am optimistic about most aspects of my life, but not so much so when it comes to love, marriage and children. I worry if something happens to my cats, so how can I take a risk with a child's life?



MishLuvsHer2Boys
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2004
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,491
Location: Canada

06 May 2007, 7:28 am

I have Aspergers, my SO is non-autistic, we have two sons, oldest has Autism and our youngest is gifted and non-autistic with some very minor 'AS' personality-like quirks.



Smelena
Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Cure Neurotypicals Now!

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,950
Location: Australia

06 May 2007, 7:01 pm

ster wrote:
i'm NT & my hubby is aspie....out of our 3 children, only one is NT


Me too!!

Wouldnt' have it any other way though.



Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

06 May 2007, 7:18 pm

I could never bring a child into this world-he/she might have AS and I just couldnt see my chld suffer like I did/am :(



Prudence
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 304

08 May 2007, 8:36 pm

Kilroy wrote:
I could never bring a child into this world-he/she might have AS and I just couldnt see my chld suffer like I did/am :(

That's what bothers me. I'm not sure if I have AS or not, but I was diagnosed with it. My father has it, as does my future husband. If I have this man's children, it is almost inevitable that all of them shall be on the autistic spectrum. Both of us want children in the future, and adopting would seem like "giving up."

Adopting would seem like we were saying, "Oh, we know that our children would be mutant ret*ds. We might as well never have any!" What's more, it's becoming called a woman's "duty" to abort her non-neurotypical unborn children. I would die myself before having an abortion.



KimJ
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,418
Location: Arizona

08 May 2007, 8:44 pm

My parents adopted and they got an Aspie. :)



Prudence
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 304

08 May 2007, 8:46 pm

KimJ wrote:
My parents adopted and they got an Aspie. :)


Haha, good for them. In all seriousness, good for them. But that wasn't what bothers me. Is it morally wrong to bring children in this world that you know will face non-neurotypical challenges?



9CatMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,403

08 May 2007, 9:26 pm

I am actually more worried about the effects of some of the medication I take on a child than about my suspected Asperger's. Some of the medication I take would cause defects in a fetus. I can't risk damaging a child's health. The way things are going, though, I will likely wind up an old crazy cat lady. I feel bad enough about something happening to my cats when they get old, and I know that wouldn't be my fault.



KimJ
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,418
Location: Arizona

08 May 2007, 9:40 pm

We had a friend that had major ADHD and took meds for it. She was nuts off of it. Yet, when she got pregnant, she went off her meds and handled it, somehow. She managed to stay off while she nursed a colicky baby too. So, it can be done, if they are drugs that you can stop.



Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

08 May 2007, 10:04 pm

Prudence wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I could never bring a child into this world-he/she might have AS and I just couldnt see my chld suffer like I did/am :(

That's what bothers me. I'm not sure if I have AS or not, but I was diagnosed with it. My father has it, as does my future husband. If I have this man's children, it is almost inevitable that all of them shall be on the autistic spectrum. Both of us want children in the future, and adopting would seem like "giving up."

Adopting would seem like we were saying, "Oh, we know that our children would be mutant ret*ds. We might as well never have any!" What's more, it's becoming called a woman's "duty" to abort her non-neurotypical unborn children. I would die myself before having an abortion.


I see what you mean and I do agree abortion is bad...
I do think it's murder of sorts



JsMom
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 228

09 May 2007, 12:06 pm

SeriousGirl wrote:
I think an NT child would have a much bigger problem dealing with your AS than a child with AS. That is something to think about too.


My dear Dad passed before AS was "discovered." However, I truly believe he was an Aspie. I am NT, and my son is an Aspie. As a young child I didn't realize my father was different or quirky. I just thought he was fun. It wasn't until my later teens that I started to be embarrassed by my Dad, but it was not due to his eccentricities, but for his poverty and his alcoholism. Now that I'm grown (and more mature)...I miss him dearly and wish he was still here. He was the neatest person I ever met, and he knew so much!


_________________
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson