Push vs. Pull

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My daughter's first piano recital, ever. It was a Nativity Story play, where she later performed the role of an angel, too. (Hence the outfit.)



Sure, nothing out of ordinary in her piano recital. But you have to take into account: (a) she has not really taken any serious piano lessons, (b) she was the one that made all the musical arrangement, herself. For this tune, she was 100% self-taught. She learned the tune from YouTube, she liked it, and she then figured out how to play it on an electronic piano keyboard, and sing, at home.

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Here is a more complete story. My daughter has always had excellent ears for music. I have never considered music seriously for my children. Sure, I've sent them to after-school piano keyboard lessons (in school), but that was for fun. It was always sporadic. Same as for cooking classes, or Lego, or clay/pottery. One thing I have very much against music instruction out there is that they tend to ruin children's creativity: it's all about rules and drills, so I have been careful about that.

Last year I realized my daughter all of a sudden started to play with both hands at the keyboard, by herself. Since she also had the "absolute pitch" skill, I kind of yielded... perhaps I needed to look for a piano teacher for her, after all. I searched and searched, and just couldn't find any teachers that were good at music theory and yet at the same time would follow children's interests. At the end I settled for a professional musician that had his own music band. Guess what? It was a terrible experience. My daughter absolutely hated taking piano lessons. It reminds me how I quit piano lessons myself after 2 months when I was a boy. My daughter quit after the first month, I guess it was only 4 or 5 sessions.

That, is what I call a "Push" method: you push knowledge onto the children. It backfired, big time, in the case of my daughter.

After that, my daughter basically just played on her own, without any further piano instruction.

Then in September, we joined a weekly music/arts events for special-education children. It was held by a local non-profit organization. They have this "buddy" system where special-education children are paired up with high-schoolers. Sure, there are some head teachers for music and arts as well, but most of the time it's just the children hanging around with their "buddies." It was never formal. It's mostly meant to use music and arts as a fun way of younger children interacting with their teenage buddies. The good thing was that in the piano sessions, my daughter was allowed to fool around. So, even though there were some piano instructional books, my daughter was also allowed to play her own tunes. It was all very casual. All of a sudden, she now had a place where she could play her tunes and discuss about them, outside home environment. She was now receiving feedback and encouragement, beyond just her parents. In short, she has found a "stage."

That's the "Pull" method of instruction. One starts with the children's interests, and then add on and expand from there.

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Frankly, before my daughter's recital, I was there in the play's rehearsal twice. I did hear my daughter play on the grand piano, but I thought it was just her buddy being nice and letting my daughter fool around with the grand piano. I was telling some friends there that my daughter's buddy was so nice that she allowed my daughter to fool around. I was only expecting my daughter to perform the angel role during the play. On the evening of the actual play, I was caught by surprise when my daughter's name popped up on the big screen as the first recital performer. I had to rub my eyes. My daughter never told us that she was going to perform in the recital portion! I mean, all the other children performed well-known classical or Christmas music pieces, but my daughter was playing a tune from a modern computer game (the Legend of Zelda)!

See the difference? By going along with my daughter's interest, she has developed a liking for playing music. Sure, she is not a prodigy nor anything remotely close to that: it's all just for fun. The good thing is that she has gained confidence and self-esteem, and I think that is what matters, at the end of the day.