17 year old son with ASD who identifies as a Nazi

Post Reply New Topic

My son is17 and I'm positive he's on the spectrum...just like myself and his younger sister but he won't talk to any professionals...he won't even leave the house. He stopped going to school in 9th grade..got his GED last year though. Anyway.he won't leave his room other than once a day to walk to the store for his daily energy drink. He hates his 3yr old sister because she had a stroke and is disabled. To the point where he doesn't call her by her name..but calls her "the ret*d" and says he will kick her in the face...and that I'm choosing her over him by keeping her in our house! He is currently obsessed with being a Nazi and with WW2. So he hates anyone who isn't white and able bodied. He's extremely intelligent and is funny and can be nice sometimes...but I'm not sure what to do anymore...he will be 18 in a few months and won't work won't apply for SSI...nothing. He just tells me I'm a bad parent and that he hates me. I love him so much and I know how bad he would freak out having to move out..or go to a foster home or treatment facility...he can't poop anywhere but at home and if no one else is in the house. I just want to live peacefully..and for all my kids to be happy. Any advice would be so very appreciated.

sounds like someone needs to take control.

why did he stop going to school at 9th grade? my parents would have beat the living daylights out of me if i tried to pull that.

i hope he keeps that nazi s**t to himself or he's looking at a pretty big chance of getting his ass kicked in the future.

Can you be specific about why you are positive he is on the spectrum please? What characteristics make you assume that at this stage?

Where is his father in this situation?

Kick the Nazi out when he turns 18. I hate Nazis with passion and moochers.

How can somebody hate a 3-year-old who had a stroke?

There's something "really not right" there. He needs to see an individual therapist.....yesterday. And, perhaps, a psychiatrist.

Depending on the state, you can kick him out to the curb either at 18 or at 21. I don't think you should do that----but you should use that as a "bargaining chip."

At this point, I sense that he needs firmness. That certain things will not be tolerated.

The issues you describe are not connected to the spectrum... maybe apart from the pooping thing. But the rest indicates some really deep problems of totaly different nature.
Did you consider family therapy? Maybe he is full of emotions he was unable to express and they finally drove him nuts. Maybe you are, too. Maybe both of you have a lot to tell to each other but don't know how to do it the right way.
Just my guessing. I would give it a chance with some help from a counsellor.

The kid won't work and won't apply for SSI...so there must be different plans, that he has already made for his future.
And you say that the kid must be frequently left home alone ...to poop?

You need to get him help, not next week,not tomorrow, but right now.

Worst case scenario call a hotline and tell them he plans to commit suicide or mass murder, whatever will motivate them to get him supervised by a psychiatrist and trained staff.

or another troll poster,
first post person , and the problem with titles & visibility

You have to wonder...

I hope you get some good advice here, though people seem to be drifting off the point and even missing the fact that you are on the spectrum yourself. Why don't you seek out some professional help?

Does he have a history of conduct disorder, or another behavioral disability?

I think it would be fair to lay out a few conditions for him staying in the home past age 18:
1. He must change the way he refers to his sister.
2. He needs to decide how he is going to contribute to the household. After all, legally you will not owe him a thing, and morally there are conflicting arguments between your responsibility to a member of the family and your enabling bad behavior. I would tread lightly on HOW he will contribute, but he needs to contribute. It doesn't have to be financial; you can get creative. But find a way to explain to him that legal adults sharing a home do it as a way of creating something more positive and stronger than one individual can create on their own.
3. You do not have to tolerate certain attitudes and thought processes within your home. You will have to decide where you can draw that line, or if you can draw it, but I would work some baby steps in that direction, at least. To me, his interest shows frustration and a lack of self-confidence. He is blaming the things he hates about his life on those who are different than him, and grasping onto a philosophy that rewards him for nothing more than the accident of his birth. That can be very appealing to someone who has so little to hold onto. The problem, in his situation, is figuring out how he will find something else to hold onto. The more he can find self-worth from more positive activities and traits, the more you may find him able to let go of the obsession.

Can a 3-year-old even have a stroke?