Obsessed with behaving like a dog

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musicmaker5166
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10 Jan 2016, 9:54 pm

My 6 year old is diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers), genius IQ, OCD, SPD, Depression, Anxiety & ADHD. Currently she is fairly stable with her medication and doesn't qualify for therapy due to her cognitive/adaptive functioning. She does well in school so far - so they only give her speech therapy.

ANYHOW - my point is - she has always been obsessed with behaving like a dog. She is on all fours - wears a tail in public & to school, barks, whines, howls.... for nearly 4 hours straight today. I do not play along and actually become rather irritated with it as she licks the family dog, licks the family cat, chews on my pant leg, etc...

Input is needed - somewhere along the lines I was told it was likely due to her SPD. She feels devastated when I don't allow her to behave like a dog. For 2 years I have not allowed her to do it at home - only at grandma's twice a week when she's there. Today I did allow it & greatly regretted the choice. Maybe if I better understood what she gets out of this?

HELP



sharklegs
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10 Jan 2016, 11:55 pm

Just to simply get the ball rolling on rationale.
No full explanations follow...

Your child's life does not bring your child *enough* joy to simply be "merely human". She may be happy, but she thinks she could be happier being something else.

Your daughter may be exploring her ability to be another type of animal which she senses may be sustainably happier than her, man's best friend of course. I believe this may be the case because I, along with other autistic people, have been known to mimick other people (like other animals in your daughter's case) who we think seem happier than ourselves. We tend to do this until we find out that we cannot be sustainably happy as anything but ourselves. I am sure this is simply a faze, but likely an important one to her learning and growth as much as it may pain you.
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Acting/role-playing is an art form, and just like any other activity your daughter may excel at, she will attempt to learn how to do the dog role better and better until she no longer knows of any ways to make a bark or a howl sound or feel any more perfected. Let her get it out of her system as much as possible. She will most likely tire of it more quickly this way.

I imagine you will wake up one day, and she will not be down on all fours because she has simply worn out the role...
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I hope the above helps turn something in your mind about how to help your child realize the unsustainability of her current nature. I do not know her, but she sounds wonderful :)

By the way, that's very noble and loving of you to let her proudly wear her puppy tail in public, imo.



RenaeK
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11 Jan 2016, 6:43 am

I'm finding myself very curious about this. Some background, I'm HFASD, genius IQ (though wouldn't usually say that unless for the purpose of identifying with your daughter). My son is 7, same diagnosis as me, the IQ as well, but also with his father's anxiety disorder and I say undiagnosed aspie, and also the genius thing (I always say our poor child got the best and worst of both of us). I'm assuming when you say genius you mean tested over 148? The terminology differs and in my city they like the term PG (profoundly gifted), personally it makes my skin crawl.

A bit of an unorthodox approach, I just asked my 7 year old why this little girl I heard about might act like a dog. He says it's because dogs have extra special senses, kind of like super powers, good sense of smell, fast runners and excellent hearing. He said super heros are make believe, being a dog is better if you want to be a real super hero. I would never have thought of this in a million years. Let me know if you think he's on the right track!

I know you said she only qualifies for speech, which I find ridiculous, are you in USA? I don't think you're in Aus or UK. Surely, ASD obsessions qualify for a few therapy sessions with a behavioural psych who works with ASD kids? I'm certain that's what this is, it's an Autism obsession, and if that's the case it's not going away and probably only going to intensify and become increasingly inappropriate. At least you have some boundaries around it already, that's good. I would stick to them. Perhaps post in the general section and see if any of the younger AS crew can remember doing similar as a child and give you some insight?



RenaeK
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11 Jan 2016, 6:45 am

Also, can you remember how the dog thing started? A particular event, just crept up or suddenly out of the blue? Did it start with a general dog fascination?



musicmaker5166
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11 Jan 2016, 8:23 am

@sharklegs - your response to me, is epic in understanding the reason she needs this so much. She daily tells me that she should not have been born here, that she belongs in a different world because she is so much different than her classmates. Jadon also tells me that she prays daily for God to take it away. I had never connected these two things & now feel empowered to help. This morning I did talk with her & said that I will no longer forbid the behavior, but ask that if Mom needs a break, she give me some quiet time. It overloads my senses... As for the puppy tail - it is a real wolf tail that she bought off a trapper with money she earned. She proudly wears it to school & tells me all the kids think it's weird - but I love that she embraces that rather than avoid it.

@RanaeK - Yes, I am in the US - New York state (as far geographically away from New York city as one in NY can be though). Her IQ at 4 years old (she was bored and refused to finish much of the testing) still came out at 138. The evaluator wrote in her ASD report that Jadons intelligence & obsession with writing (wrote her name & more @ 2 years) would mask her struggles & that she very highly recommended therapies for her very low social/emotional & SPD areas. The state declined as they feel Jadon is not at risk for having to reside in a group home as an adult. Her school also doesn't acknowledge her diagnosis - they call her "quirky, but a perfect student of whom they'd love to have more". She is the type that holds it together well at school, but as soon as she's out of the school... it cuts loose. She can't even ride the bus as she rips her hair out, gouges her skin & once punched a 4th grader in the face.

The superhero factor could certainly be part of it. One of her favorite movie series are the Super Buddies. Her dog thing began so long ago that I honestly don't recall. BUT, I think it was when she was switched from a childcare center (I was in college) to her grandparents home for childcare. She would have just turned 3 & they do have a dog. I figured it would wear out... but then she was a "wild dog" as she would call it. This was displayed by attacking other children in public places of play. I've seen 12 year olds scared to death of her... then at the local bounce house, I paid 12 for her to play and all she did was prowl the floor barking. Then she began to hide in the houses and attack the kids who entered. These children would run off with bleeding scratches on their face... so I had to end the behavior as it was not safe for others to be around. She once knocked my Mom over when she lunged/jumped on her - she would go into attack mode from across the room and bust peoples glasses. After not allowing it in my presence for 2 years (and the introduction of meds that GREATLY reduced her harming self & others)... at least now she doesn't attack people. She just wants biscuits, training & petted.



musicmaker5166
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11 Jan 2016, 8:27 am

In another forum, this idea was given me & each category on this page does apply to Jadon:
sengifted.org/archives/articles/overexcitability-and-the-gifted

Since I'm a new user, I cannot add the w's to the beginning of the link...



Tawaki
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11 Jan 2016, 11:40 am

We had an ASD kid in our latch key who was fixated on being a cat.

From what the mother and the teachers told us..

He could be a cat, but when he wanted something from humans he had to be human. The boy was 7 years old, and would roll into school with a tail and ears on.

The theory went, there is nothing wrong with being a dog, cat, whatever...but there is a place and time for it.

When his social skills got better, the wanting to be a cat diminished.

I don't know how it worked out in the actual classroom, but this is what mom started to do at home.



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11 Jan 2016, 11:56 am

I am not sure why you don't allow it at home. It is because you find it annoying or you think it is abnormal? If anything I would think home would be the best place b/c that is the safe zone and your child would not have to worry about the judgement of peers or others.

My son used to love role playing as a cartoon character animal. If anything we encouraged it, because it allowed us to explore his feelings in a safe way b/c it wasn't him, and real issues, if that makes sense. I understand that that is probably harder to do when dealing with something that is not anthropomorphized but there are certain things you could work on like emotions --for example--if your child has issues with self-regulation. You could give "the dog" a doggie scenario like, "Show me how you would feel if someone stole your bone." or something like that. (It doesn't have to be that, but you might be able to work on something) Special interests tend to be really good ways of getting buy-in for other things.

I also agree that your child picked a dog for some reason. Maybe it feels safer to not have person-type demands and is a fun thing to think about. There as an episode of Martha Speaks, like that where one of the characters wanted to be a dog and so he acted like a dog, and Martha (a talking dog) acted like a person and then they both found out they missed being themselves/ Maybe that would be a good thing to try to track down. I don't remember the episode name, but I bet you can find it.

Edited to add:

I found the Martha Speaks episode: It is from Season 3.

Episode 58/3-3 Original Air date: October 13, 2010

Dog for a Day

TD thinks dogs have it easy — no school, no homework, no schedule — but Martha begs to differ. When the two decide to switch roles for a day, they discover that life can be surprisingly tough in someone else's shoes (or tail).



musicmaker5166
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11 Jan 2016, 6:19 pm

@ASDMommyASDKid - yes - as I stated a few times, it overloads my senses. This happens in a fashion where she is 6 inches from my leg & barking incessantly. I already cannot make phone calls around her as she verbally stims .& her noise is non stop. But worse is that she'll begin to chew on my pant leg while I'm making dinner - the night I posted this, I nearly fell on top of her while holding a knife as I attempted to move from one counter top to the next. She does not play, does not watch TV or movies, does not play video games... does NOTHING on an independent basis or than play dog. I've been trying to tell her that she need to be a dog with manners. It helps a little - I have SPD and am not good with constant noise, I feel trapped and almost claustrophobic with all the auditory input.



League_Girl
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11 Jan 2016, 7:03 pm

musicmaker5166 wrote:
@ASDMommyASDKid - yes - as I stated a few times, it overloads my senses. This happens in a fashion where she is 6 inches from my leg & barking incessantly. I already cannot make phone calls around her as she verbally stims .& her noise is non stop. But worse is that she'll begin to chew on my pant leg while I'm making dinner - the night I posted this, I nearly fell on top of her while holding a knife as I attempted to move from one counter top to the next. She does not play, does not watch TV or movies, does not play video games... does NOTHING on an independent basis or than play dog. I've been trying to tell her that she need to be a dog with manners. It helps a little - I have SPD and am not good with constant noise, I feel trapped and almost claustrophobic with all the auditory input.



I wonder how you manage? If I had to deal with all that, I would be very cranky and irritable and always screaming due to overload and feeling burnt out and worn out from dealing with all the chaos and screaming. If it's bad enough for my son to be whining and running around and making high pitch noises, think of how much worse it would be if he acted like your daughter.


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11 Jan 2016, 7:08 pm

I used to do the same thing at the same age. I am very glad my parents reacted differently from you - they never worried about my pretend and if they needed me to do something human they asked me to pretend to be a trained dog who did whatever human thing. My school did try to stamp it out, which only made me more insistent about it and upset me a lot.

In my case, it was a coping strategy. I hated school and wished I could be a dog or a cat because they don't have to go to school. (My school was very intolerant of anything 'different' about me and punished me constantly for all sorts of things, many of which I couldn't actually control.) I figured I'd be happier if I could be an animal, and I was probably right about that.

Even if she's doing well in school, she might be getting bullied or feeling stressed out about it. Or it might be something else in her life that's upsetting her. My suggestion is to let her act like a dog if she wants, and try to figure out what might be upsetting her.



Mobers
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12 Jan 2016, 12:04 pm

Allowing the child to act like a dog doesn't have to mean tolerating her being a pest and a danger. Surely you wouldn't let your actual dog trip you while you cook--don't allow "dogs" in the kitchen, nearby when you're operating power tools, etc. If the "dog" bites, whines, barks incessantly, etc. send it to its bed until it can behave.

Dogs are actually much easier to deal with than children, so you could even shape her behavior with treats. Either she will tire of boring dog life or become very reliable at the down-stay.



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12 Jan 2016, 1:05 pm

I have an idea for this, so I thought I would share.

When I was little, I was always pretending to be a cat. For years. I only did it at home, but my mom played along. I also had an animal costume that I wore so much it had holes in it, from about 3-4. I would refuse to wear anything else.

I think maybe you could schedule "puppy-time" with your daughter. Explain to her that it's not okay to do those things outside of this special time. During "puppy time", play along with her. Pretend she is a puppy. It could be a way to bond and spend time with her and help her to express herself. That way it will be a positive thing for her to look forward to, not a negative thing to be ashamed of.

And I think this is probably in part caused by her problems identifying with other kids and feeling of being different, as was mentioned. So therapy may help.



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12 Jan 2016, 6:34 pm

Mobers wrote:
Allowing the child to act like a dog doesn't have to mean tolerating her being a pest and a danger. Surely you wouldn't let your actual dog trip you while you cook--don't allow "dogs" in the kitchen, nearby when you're operating power tools, etc. If the "dog" bites, whines, barks incessantly, etc. send it to its bed until it can behave.

Dogs are actually much easier to deal with than children, so you could even shape her behavior with treats. Either she will tire of boring dog life or become very reliable at the down-stay.


Oh, good idea. Treat her like a dog whenever she is acting like one. After all the OP would be playing along with her. She has to train her dog to behave and keep her out of the kitchen when she cooks.


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EmmaJPorter
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02 Jan 2020, 12:42 pm

I see this is quite old, but I am dealing with this now. My 8yo is driving me insane pretending to be a cat all the time. He meeows all the time & won't stop licking everyone, it's vile to have soggy patches on my clothes & bits of food particles. He will not stop no matter what I do & I'm losing my mind. I'm worried someone will trip over him or land on him too.



jimmy m
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02 Jan 2020, 3:12 pm

This is a strange thread. Not sure I can be of any help. But I will add my 2 cents.

I was at a restaurant yesterday, Olive Gardens, and at the next table was a family. Three of the women wore headbands with cat ears. In a way they were pretending to be cats. I thought it was odd. But my littlest grandchild also likes to wear a headband with cat ears and she wears it to school. So maybe it is a current trend.

I think play is important for children. Sometimes in modern society we tend to be a little too bit prim and proper. Being a little bit on the wild side can be good at times, especially for an Aspie. In a way it is related to brain evolution.

We go through various transitions in life. When infants we cry and scream. Sometimes we throw temper tantrums. We exhibit various ticks. When I was young I use to suck my thumb. But then as I transitioned into school, I was ordered to give up these habits. For an infant crying is very natural but if you cry at school, you are labeled a cry baby. So you give up these habits or modify them. Sucking my thumb gave me relief. It comforted me. I transitioned from sucking my thumb to chewing on the tassels of my leather Davey Crockett jacket. It took 2 years to eat the tassels off and then my mom never bought me a similar jacket again. Then I transitioned into chewing my fingernails. That took about 5 years to control. They were for me an instant stress relief.

Latter in life children make another transition from childhood to adulthood. Their peer group of boys or girls begin to dissolve away experimenting in developing into couples. This normally brings forth bullying in their peer group. That can be very destructive for a child. Aspies experience significantly more bullying than the general population. For boys this tends to peak in Junior High and for girls in High School. Then the intensity fades away but unfortunately the damage is already done by that time.

In the case at point, I might suggest playing along with it but also using this as a training tool. I suspect when the child is acting as a dog or cat, they might be very open to suggestion. You can also set the boundaries of under what circumstances this action is acceptable.

One of the things I did with my grandchildren was walk up on my hill and howl at the moon. My grandkids looked at me a little funny but then they joined in and we became a pack of wolves howling at the moon. There are two elements of importance here. First I was forming a primitive bond with my grandchildren. We became a pack. Second, howling relieves stress energy that builds up in the neck muscles. It vents stress and that is something that every Aspie child needs to know.


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