Moms and Dads with AS. Dropping kids off at school.

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Nellie
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29 Aug 2007, 7:57 am

I wasn't sure what section to put this thread so if it has to be moved that is OK.

My daughter is in 2nd grade and I have to drop her off in the morning. The easiest way to do this, because of our schedule, is to get there a little early, park the car and walk in the school with her while waiting in the hallway.

AS soon as a walk in the door there are bright lights, shiny floors, loud echoes throughout the hallways, and a million different perfumes from the people that are there already.
Then when the (extremely LOUD) bell rings, my husband and I, with our squealing 2 year old, go to the car and procede to make our way out of the school area amidst all the traffic.

This is usually enough to completely wear me out for the rest of the day.

Not to mention I go to school full time and, on most days during the week, have to drop my husband off and then my youngest at daycare before I go to the campus and deal with all the noise and lights and perfume there, cram myself in a tiny desk, in an overcrowded classroom and am completely incapable of paying attention in class because I feel like crap by the time I get there.

(sorry for the run on sentance)

So, am I the only one here?


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Pandora
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29 Aug 2007, 8:45 am

No, even reading about all this gives me the heebie-jeebies! I think you're very courageous to cope with all of this.


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29 Aug 2007, 8:52 am

Nellie wrote:
I wasn't sure what section to put this thread so if it has to be moved that is OK.

My daughter is in 2nd grade and I have to drop her off in the morning. The easiest way to do this, because of our schedule, is to get there a little early, park the car and walk in the school with her while waiting in the hallway.

AS soon as a walk in the door there are bright lights, shiny floors, loud echoes throughout the hallways, and a million different perfumes from the people that are there already.
Then when the (extremely LOUD) bell rings, my husband and I, with our squealing 2 year old, go to the car and procede to make our way out of the school area amidst all the traffic.

This is usually enough to completely wear me out for the rest of the day.

Not to mention I go to school full time and, on most days during the week, have to drop my husband off and then my youngest at daycare before I go to the campus and deal with all the noise and lights and perfume there, cram myself in a tiny desk, in an overcrowded classroom and am completely incapable of paying attention in class because I feel like crap by the time I get there.

(sorry for the run on sentance)

So, am I the only one here?


no you are not the only one here. From what I see, you are just dealing with the same things all the rest of us that go out into the world deal with day in and day out.
I feel for ya' but the people that like the bright lights and perfumes and loud noises are not going to change any time soon.

but you knew that . . . . :cry:



lelia
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29 Aug 2007, 9:10 am

Eeesh! I'm sorry.

Why do you walk inside? Is there a reason you can't walk around the playground or a quiet place around some building?



Pandora
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29 Aug 2007, 9:32 am

I wonder would it be possible for husband to catch a bus or train to and from work?


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Nellie
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29 Aug 2007, 9:53 am

Pandora wrote:
I wonder would it be possible for husband to catch a bus or train to and from work?


I thought of that. (especially since we can't afford the gas , lol) The only thing is that our schedule won't allow it. We both go to school. He works full time and goes to school part time and I go to school full time. The hours we have class make it impossible to consider.

I do think it may be possible next semester though. I'm seriously going to look into it.


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KimJ
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29 Aug 2007, 9:59 am

I would take turns walking your child in and out of the building, so that you both aren't overloaded everyday. It has a culmulative effect, you know.
The district here encourages (and forces in some places) the kids to stay out of the classes until the bells ring. So, most kids play outside. My son has memorized directions so that he doesn't need an aide to walk him from the playground to his classroom.
He also rides the bus, which special ed students are entitled free transportation.



Pippen
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29 Aug 2007, 12:09 pm

Is there a need for you to walk your daughter into the building? Most children by 2nd grade could be walked to the door or dropped off in the drop off lane and should be able to get to the classroom or waiting area by themselves. Children who have special needs and legitimately can't handle it can be met at the drop off or at the door by an aide.



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29 Aug 2007, 12:22 pm

The only cases I've ever seen where parents are required to walk into the school with their children is if they get there excessively early or after the bell rings. Other than that there is no reason for parents to walk inside the school.

Furthermore, I've yet to see a school door whose main entrance isn't glass. IF for some reason you aren't comfortable letting her out of your sight, but want her in the building, why don't you just watch her through the door?



Nellie
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29 Aug 2007, 1:08 pm

We are there ultra early and my husband insists that "we all go together". I do have to do have to do some compromise though. Perhaps on the days I go to school he can let me sit in the car while he walks with her. (Or follows her. She prefers to walk by herself and tells us to "go away", lol)


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BugsMom
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29 Aug 2007, 2:42 pm

My son is in kindergarten and his school frowns upon the parents coming inside the building to drop them off. We wait outside and my son's aide or teacher comes to greet him and walk him inside.

I don't like loud noises or lots of people either, so I sympathize with you!



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29 Aug 2007, 3:15 pm

I completely sympathize with you. I can't stand dropping my Kindergardener off in the morning so hubby usually does it. I go back and pick him up at noon, when it's not as busy.

Unfortunately, the Kindergarden classroom is right out front by the drive-up and drop-off area and there is nobody supervising the kids, so we can't just leave- actually have to wait until the teacher comes out of the classroom at the last bell. If my 9 y/o were to wait with him, she'd be late for her class. It's a dumb arrangement for sure, since she's perfectly capable of taking him instead of us.

Loud noises, bright lights, bright sunshine, crowds of people- all stress me out to the max. When I've dropped him off in the mornings, I feel so run-down from the sensory overload that I just want to crawl back in bed and shut out the world. Thankfully my 4 y/o is very good and very quiet in the mornings.


I don't understand why you all have to go drop her off??? Why does your husband insist that you all all go when he knows how much it stresses you out?



MishLuvsHer2Boys
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30 Aug 2007, 7:38 am

Myself and my NT partner drop off our oldest son at school every day (of course only during the week) and we have to bring our youngest son with us that is well, non-autistic and gifted and from the moment we reach the doors to enter the school, it is so overwhelming and youngest gets excited and starts squeeling and running and all, it's a task trying to get the youngest out of the school after we drop his older autistic brother to school. The torture is even more when it's Monday and Wednesday and not only do we have to drop the oldest to the elementary school but the youngest to preschool, I come home and I'm so tired and exhausted and my ears hurt from all the noise and gives me a headache.



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30 Aug 2007, 8:02 am

Nellie wrote:
We are there ultra early and my husband insists that "we all go together". I do have to do have to do some compromise though. Perhaps on the days I go to school he can let me sit in the car while he walks with her. (Or follows her. She prefers to walk by herself and tells us to "go away", lol)
Are you sure your husband isn't aspie? It seems odd that he couldn't walk her in by himself some days, and it isn't fair to you if you have all these sensory issues.


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Pippen
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30 Aug 2007, 8:35 am

Nellie, would it help you to wear sunglasses to cut the lights and use some foam earplugs to cut the sound for the days that you need to take her in?



Nellie
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30 Aug 2007, 10:25 am

I had my husband take her in today (he usually insists that we do every single stupid thing "together as a family". Even grocery shopping or putting gas in the tank. That's another story for another time)
I actually thought he was going to make a big deal out of it but he was fine. We parked there early and waited until right before the bell. He then walked her to the door. (She said, "Daddy, stop following me!") and that was that.
(of course, my 2 year old stayed in the car with me and started screaming because they were going without her but that is still more tolerable than going in)

Picking her up in another issue but that is outside. There are tons of kids and adults out there (I find the adults more annoying, lol) and it is another overload. Crowds and confusion. nice.

I will consider the sunglasses. I can't believe I didn't think of that before.

oh yeah, I had class this morning and was able to concentrate much better. I think it has to do with my husband letting me stay behind in the car. (yay!)


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