Aspie parents: how do you get along with your AS kids?

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I'm planning on having about 10 kids, all with AS, and living in an AS community (sort of like the deaf community) and I think I'll raise them really well because I'll understand them, but I'm curious as to how you get along with your AS kids!

I have two AS kids, and one NT. The NT is a 16 year old girl, and as is typical, we don't get along that well right now (it will change in a year or so, from what I hear from other parents of girls). The oldest AS boy didn't get along with me from 15 to 16 years either. I have to say, I get along with the AS boys better than our girl, most of the time, but I think that has more to do with girls and mothers generally not getting along at this age. The NT girl likes her Dad better than me right now (hey, at least she likes one of us!)

Having said that, the two AS boys just seems to have more innocence and wonder about the world, which I find highly appealing and I seem to relate to that better. My NT daughter is super independent, very responsible and mature, and that just makes me feel somewhat useless to her sometimes. But I'm sure we will mesh like we used to in the years to come.

Kris

I get along really well with my kids. My Aspie is 8 and is a boy, the NT is 10 and is a girl. I think that my son and I are very close, and the truth is - he knows that I am his "person". In a lot of ways, I'm his security blanket because he knows that above and beyond anything else in the world, he's safe when he's with me. He's still a child, and I want him to feel that way - but on the same token this year is going to be the start of getting my son to realize that he really CAN do things for himself and still be just fine. He's very dependent on me, and I know that it can't continue to be that way - so I have to help him see for himself that he's very capable, and he really is. Having him play soccer has really helped him to see that he's gifted and talented in his own way.

My daughter and are just as close, but in completely different ways. I've always felt that it's important for the kids to each know that there are times when one of them is going to "come first" and that they each get their time with me. For my daughter - she's in competitive dance, and so those times are mom times, and it works very well, because her time is HER time...and my son's time is definitely HIS.

My biggest problem is finding ME time...and getting my husband to understand that they are his kids as well, and that he is every bit as responsible for them as I am. He tends to just assume that because he's the one working outside of the home that he gets free reign to come and go as he pleases and that I'm the babysitter. It's kind of uneven in that respect. Other than that though - I get along with my kids very well, and I treasure this time with them!

My mom and I are very close. She is NT and I suspect I have Asperger's.

I get on really well with my boys - 9, 7 and 4. My 9 and 7 year old have been diagnosed with AS, my 4 year old is not diagnosed but I'm suspect he could be.

I love my sons innocence and insatiable curiosity about the world. They stimulate my mind.

We also have lots of good wrestle fights and go to Taekwondo together.

Sure we have bad days, but on the whole I really enjoy my sons.

If you're going to have 10 kids make sure you can afford to feed them. Our 3 kids eat a lot!

Helen

My 10 yr. old Aspie son is a wonderful kid. Of course we have our bad days (partly due to AS, partly that he's becoming a pre-teen) But the good days far outweigh the bad. He is an incredibly smart, interesting, thoughtful person to be around. He is a miracle and a blessing to me and my husband.

A word of warning for you. An aspie parent with sensory issues can have a VERY hard time with aspie children having melt-downs. LOL! I'd suggest some good spacing between kids or not so many. I think 10 would drive me insane. I love kids- well, my kids. I would love to have 2-3 more, but we're limiting it at the next, #4. I do have sensory issues and 2 of my kids have melt-downs. The oldest only has issues at times of extreme stress and is learning to handle her emotions better. The 5 y/o melts down over everything lately. The 4 y/o is an NT who loves to push the buttons of the Aspies around here. LOL!

We have adopted 2 and are going back for a 3rd adoption. It's a wonderful way to have a large family IMO.

Best of luck to ya!

My aspie daughter (about to turn 4), while sometimes challenging, is the sunshine of my world. It wasn't always like that. We had bonding issus at first. She was not a cuddly baby, she lacked some of the reciprocity normal to mother-child bonding. She screamed instead of crying. She banged her head all the time and did things I had never seen a baby do. But now I know why. She has become an amazing little girl, much more affectionate, one of the most caring little people the world has ever seen, I think. And smart!

We do have challenges. If she has to wake at night to use the bathroom, she has meltdowns and will just cry uncontrollably and quite loud for reasons we cannot understand. No attempts will stop it, until she is done and back in bed. She HATES waking before she is ready. The other big one is communication. She takes things VERY literally, you can't use metaphor or silly sarcasm, she misses it totally. You have to speak very deliberately about something, just the facts, if you want her to learn it. Once she learns something though, she never forgets. You can even pull an outfit from her closet and she will tell you every place she ever wore it and something about what we did at that time.

She's just a gift, and I adore her. Like all things and all people, there are ups and downs.

Generally, I get along very well with my Aspie son. I have a lot of Aspie traits myself and I can relate to him on a lot of issues.

The meltdowns are still challenging for me, since he tends to get angry and throw things. I usually just cry when I melt down, and I'm not aggressive, so we are finding ways to cope with that.

I have two NT's who push my Aspie's buttons.

I am finding it harder and harder to deal, as my NT children seem ostracized because of their Aspie sibling.

Altough the NT's say things about their sister, they do not allow others to do the same and protect her from the meanies.

Meltdowns are becoming more frequent, as school is back and we just started the Public Middle school.

I guess I'm nowhere near as good a parent as the rest of you.

I'm still trying, but it's hard.

Very well. But unlike me, he was always a well behaved child.