Obnoxious Everywhere

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My son was diagnosed with autism 1/Asperger's. He's got clear "tells" primarily stimming and situational mutism.

Because of this and thanks to years of "Autism Awareness" pretty much everyone we encounter will inform us that they can tell he's autistic. (I feel like they expect me to hand out prizes or something) And he's been discriminated against more times than I can count and excluded because "we're not equipped to handle him" more times than I can count despite the fact that he's 100% the chillest kid I've ever met and on par with most NT kids for toilet training so how exactly are they "unequipped?" Kids will literally hit him and he'll just walk away...and he's 4!

So anyway... A local day care at a gym was working out well for him but they really started pushing a speech therapy they wanted to perform in the daycare themselves (not his speech therapist) and in front of his peers and I tried to explain situational mutism by saying he can talk fine when he wants to and she angrily said "well he doesn't talk with us at all!" She said it like he was behaving badly because he doesn't talk with them ..even though he follows instructions and obeys commands and behaves perfectly according to them!

I haven't been able to sleep all night when I finally realized how crazy it is that I even feel the need to convince them he can talk when teaching him to talk isn't their job in the first place. Its a day care in a GYM for gods sake. Can't they just let my kid have fun? It's not school. It's not speech therapy

Today I'm going to try and nicely make that clear to them. I'm so tired. Why does everyone have to just see my kid as some problem to be solved? Also... Boundaries anyone?

As our society increases in its collectivization, even smaller groups will display the unattractive qualities of the Department of Motor Vehicles. People will have their procedures and methods and not be happy when people are not able to be processed with machine-like efficiency.

You might try a church day care, but often churches are run with the same machine-like processing.

We raised out three Asperger children with a view of helping them develop the skills to better manage in life There can be a danger that accommodating a characteristic too much can delay the development of skills.

We were able to work around some mutism problems by exploring communication in writing, drawing, and even head nodding in answer to questions.

Yes, other people can be a pain. Since it is unlikely they will change, it may be better to find others.

I can't find others I've been searching a long time, I don't want his mutism to never be addressed justnot here. I'm tired of everything around him being about autism

I should clarify, they want to teach him pecs while he's there. I doubt that would help since he's struggling with situational mutism not speech in general and also it isn't their area of expertise they're not speech therapists. His speech therapist never recommended PECs.

I specifically take him there because he likes the toys and it's a great chance for him to be around other kids in a group in a positive setting which I think would help more with his situational mutism since Im pretty sure it's caused by overwhelm. (His speech therapist recommended this)

You might not want to place too much value on the toys. If the staff doesn't like your son, it may be picked up by the other kids who could then turn on your son. If there is someplace that has an art focus, you might find people inclined towards art to be a little more tolerant (not a rule, but a possibility)