Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

aurea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 662
Location: melb,Australia

19 Oct 2007, 4:45 pm

Hi I just wanted to know if any one has any insight into a child on the spectrum and their ability to tell deliberate lies.
Why do I ask? My son J is the first person to tell on himself if he believes he has done something wrong, he is very quick to own up if he or his brother may have missled me (or told a trick/lie) much to his brothers disgust :lol: He has gotten messages wrong which have resulted in a missinterprutation of the truth, however when this is pointed out to him he is devastated. Has anyone come across these reactions before? Is this a trait? Or is this just my kid?
Any thoughts or opions very much welcome :D



EvilKimEvil
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,041

19 Oct 2007, 4:54 pm

Yes, from what I have gathered on these forums, it is a common trait. It seems most people with ASD don't like to lie and have difficulty doing so.

I've been known to lie in situations where to do so would obviously be extremely beneficial, but it's hard for me to lie in the normal way. I mean, lying is something that I take very seriously. I have to weigh all the consequences and plan carefully before doing so. Even then, I'm not very convincing. I can't tell "white lies" in socially acceptable situations. It's hard for me to discern whether or not another person is being truthful. When I was younger, I had a hard time understanding why "tattle taling" is bad, if everyone's supposed to follow the rules.



geek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 723
Location: Elsewhere

19 Oct 2007, 6:20 pm

It's most definitely a trait. A related one which you'll see sometimes is a strong sense of justice, where an aspie may complain if they're treated too well relative to someone else.



SuperSteve
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 94
Location: Sweden

19 Oct 2007, 6:43 pm

I am, for the most part, almost unable to tell a lie. I might withhold information, or make a deflecting statement ( If say, a surprise is planned for someone, and I'm not to tell), however, blatant lying is damned near impossible. It is most definitely a trait.


_________________
You are my reason to despise the world!


MasonJar
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 125
Location: Colorado, Planet Earth

19 Oct 2007, 8:08 pm

My six-year-old son, B, always tells us what he did. If his little brother is crying, B will tell us, "I hit him on the head." Or he'll say, I did such and such to the cat. It's rather odd, but kind of refreshing at the same time.



newaspie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 390
Location: Ohio

19 Oct 2007, 11:01 pm

I have a hard time lying even if it ends up being harmful to me or hurting someone's feelings, which really upsets me at times, but I seem incapable of much else. When I do try to lie (which is very rare and often only in situations when my openness is not really going to come accross very well in a social situation), I'm not very good at it either and am usually so uncomfortable that it's obvious..



Dunwich
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 332

19 Oct 2007, 11:28 pm

I have trouble lying too, and a tendency to blurt things out which is probably connected. I always saw lying as impediment to my acquiring and sharing as much knowledge as possible, and found it very odd that most people around me didn't share that desire.

I think that's why I've never felt any need for religion: that natural desire gives me a sense of purpose. I just feel a lot of ideals for the welfare of others and how the world should be, which more extroverted people apparantly need to be conditioned to feel by belief in some god barking out orders and delivering some punishment-reward system.

I don't have a strong hatred of lying or liars as much as I consider delivering and deciphering lies a stupid waste of time and energy. Probably the same reason I can't flirt.


_________________
No one in the world ever gets what they want,
and that is beautiful.
Everybody dies frustrated and sad,
and that is beautiful.

-TMBG


laplantain
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 307

20 Oct 2007, 12:10 am

My son is too young yet, but I have to say that I cannot tell a lie, but my aspie husband is a horrible liar. I haven't yet figured out if he is dellusional or what. Sometimes he thinks we have had conversations that we never have. Sometimes he will deny things that he's said, and he really seems to believe them. ??? Not sure if he has other issues going on. But he can make up a good lie in an instant, without even blinking.
I, on the other hand, who consider myself borderline aspie, cannot tell a lie at all. It will absolutely bug me to no end. I guess it has something to do with the hyperfocus thing. Well, my husband has an ADD dx, so he probably can't focus long enough to remember that he lied from one minute to the next, now that I think about it.



lastcrazyhorn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,220
Location: Texas

20 Oct 2007, 11:44 am

I've been doing a lot of aspie research lately, so I can tell you this for sure. It's definitely an aspie trait. And watch about correcting/giving criticism; aspies take criticism very hard. They hate to be corrected.

I can't lie. But I can exaggerate . . . a subtle difference.


_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal

BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.

http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"


Hadron
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Aug 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 957
Location: IntensitySquared or Zomg

20 Oct 2007, 11:57 am

Aspies can lie, its just an aquired skill, though normally it takes a lot of effort and a reasonable age to achieve. What younger aspies can do is lie indirectly, using double meanings, embellishment and "being conservative with the truth". Aspies not being able to lie is my favourite myth, its definately one that i dont want to see wrecked.



shopaholic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 624
Location: UK

23 Oct 2007, 12:15 pm

As a child I was never able to lie; I also expected everyone to "just know" that whatever I said was the truth & got very upset if anyone did not believe me about something.



Sylvia
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 29

24 Oct 2007, 8:12 am

Oh sure. Definetely comes with the territory. DD can't lie to save her own skin, and occasionally will even dig herself even deeper with the added tendency to describe the events in detail. We've tried to explain the concept of "the little white lie" to spare someones feelings, but she still struggles.



ster
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,727
Location: new england

24 Oct 2007, 12:57 pm

my son's gotten into trouble before by adults who "know that he's lying" .......what I mean by this is: Son, for example, threw a glue bottle & the glue poured out onto the ground.The adult says: " Why did you go into the room and get the glue bottle & then throw it on the ground ?" Son replies: " I didn't"....Adult says : " But so-and-so said they saw you throw the glue"....Son says " I didn't"......................In Son's perspective, he didn't go into the room to get the glue~ the bottle was laying on the ground & he picked it up and threw it. Only part of the adults question was correct, so he couldn't answer the question "yes". Son also answered that he didn't throw the glue, because he threw the glue bottle
anyone dealing with someone with aspergers needs to remember ways in which to phrase questions so that they get an accurate response. multi-part questions often elicit an incorrect response.



alliegirl
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 53

25 Oct 2007, 9:23 am

My daughter can lie, but she has to convince herself that the lie is true. I usually cathch her though. Her eyes tell on her everytime. Shes 17. My other NT kids seem to be able to get away with it easier. I find it refreshing that she is really so honest.



militarybrat
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 348

01 Nov 2007, 12:49 pm

From what I've read here its a pretty common trait, I have it as well.