Do you get this sort of thing as well??

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When I get Damo from school I get a report from his teacher that he has had a great day. But as soon as I have him he lets loose more like his 'normal self'.
Do you get that too?
He is ok once we are home and into the after school schedule, so long as there are no unexpected changes.

I'm ok with how he behaves on way home from school so long as he isn't over the top

ummm ..... i would say he is acting the way he is supposed to act during school.... being good.... then he finally gets away from that structure and get to relax... so he destresses on the way home..... all the little things that triggered his buttons in school come out on the way home.... or he acts "normal".... it is now probably part of his normal schedule... insight into son's brain- "ok if i am good in school i can relax for the drive home and not have to worry about getting in trouble for it"

then when you get home you have him in his schedule... he knows his schedule....he's happy with his schedule... there probably aren't many of his triggers involved so you don't have to worry about meltdowns..... unless as you said something changes.... congratulations... you are doing a wonderful job it sounds like.... unless issues start arising with school i wouldn't worry about the change on the way home....

it is very stressful for us to deal with other people the way other people think we should have to for extended periods of time. so these little periods of de-stressing are very important to our well being.

Is that over a long period of being in school or is he relatively new? My son seems to hold things together at school when in a new class, but eventually gets familiar with the environment and his behaviour can spiral downward. Generally terms 1&2 go reasonably well, but Term 3 can be bad. I also wonder if he suffers from a bit of winter depression (there's an official name for it) and this is what affects Term 3 as well.

Lucky you that he is going so well at school.

My 9 year old holds it together at school then let it rips when he gets in the car.

Driving home is a war zone!

I sometimes think I need to put a video camera in the car so the teachers can see what he's like.

Helen

lots of kids are like this....hold it together during school, and let loose/destress on the way home.....come to think of it, i know alot of adults that are like this too

Many people with AS try very hard to act "typical" in school, at work, and in other public places. It takes a great deal of effort and can be exhausting. As Tony Attwood put it, children with AS must learn the academic AND the social curricula when they are school, whereas NT children generally only have to concentrate on learning the adademic stuff. Spending 8+ hours a day trying to be someone you are not must be extremely frustrating and exhausting.

For this reason, many children and adults with AS need to have a chance to just "be themselves" when they get home: stim, focus on a special interest, be alone, whatever. My personal opinion is that it is usually a huge mistake to deny them that.

Well I told him the way to school this morning that he CAN do stimmy stuff at school. I said it is ok if you want to flap, or jump or spin.
It is just part of who he is and why should he have to hide it!?!?!?!

Well, just to clarify: I am not necessarily saying that anyone should avoid stimming when they are at school. Whether your son stims at school or not, though, he is still having to put forth a lot of effort to figure out the social interaction aspect of things. My point was simply that most (not all) NT children learn social skills kind of automatically through peer interactions. It is not something that most NT have to put a lot of effort into. Children with AS, though, must use their intelligence to figure other people out. My point was that trying to do that at the same time that you are trying to learn the academics can be exhausting.

For that reason, I have found it helpful to give my son time to "unwind" and do his own thing when he gets home.