Anyone have good information on homeschooling?

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I'm tired of my son coming home upset and fighting with him to go to school every day . The school and teachers are unhelpful , the insist he brings bullying on himself by acting differently, we have been to meetings redone his IEP (for example to teach him to do homework the sent home irrelevant busywork...even saying to him it had nothing to do with the class, he usually finishes his work in class because they have a study time. this even seemed stupid to me) and they never seem to stick to what they say they will , he is smart ahead academically but having a living hell socially, he is mainstreamed half the day now and the still won't let him move to the school nearer our house his sister goes to. He has no friends and more then half of his class is emotionally disturbed children( kids taken from regular classes because they were violent and stuff) The class he was supposed to be in when he started was all autism spectrum kids, but they decided to add the others because there were only five or so kids and the funding was cut, but the first year was really great and he did wonderfully .

He has started threatening to kill himself. His teachers say his problem is he doesn't want to do work listen or interact with the other kids but at home he is not like that (although he has been more withdrawn).

The psychologist told us to stop letting him immerse himself in his special interests(reading making up computer games, creating made up worlds), and take him to social things like activities and play dates...it made him almost constantly in a state of meltdown, not to mention , both of us who are also on the spectrum (his parents) were having a hard time with it too.

Anyhow I was home schooled by my mom for two years but she is ultra religious and conservative, and her resourses wouldn't fit our beliefs.

I'm also worried I couldn't do it as I have a hard time being organised.

Any thought or advice would be helpful, thanks.

Homeschooling forces you to be organized and creating a curriculum helps establish a comfortable routine. I'm terribly disorganized but the quarter that I homeschooled my son, it wasn't so hard to plan lessons and follow a schedule.

The first thing is search online for a local homeschooling group (support/co op). Where I live there is one that doesn't have any dogmatic/religious beliefs. It's simply a support group that meets once a week for PE, socializing and field trips (for group rates).

I obtained the book, What your First Grader Needs to Know, it's a series for every grade. It covers just about everything that needs to be taught. I found it lacking in spelling words. I got some other workbooks for things I felt my son needed, math, reading comprehension and Social Skills Activities for Special Children. There are online resources for math worksheets and games. I found online resources for reading lacking past 1st grade.

I planned the day in blocks with a very large lunch/recess/PE break. "School" lasted from 10a-2pm (including that big break). Actually sitting down learning shouldn't take more than 2-3 hours with one child. I alternated between sitting at the table with books to sitting at the computer with approved sites. We took frequent "sensory breaks".

I kept a log which recorded milestones, trouble spots and solutions. "PE" was at a park. It was some kind of loosely organized game like batting around a ball, racing up a hill, walking around a soccer field. I didn't join the support group because it was a temporary fix between schools. I also recommend checking if your city holds "homeschool" rec classes. We have Homeschool swimming here.

When I had to finally be homeschooled, it was through the school system. They had a program for kids that had been hurt or who were sick and the classes were done over the phone. The curriculum was the standard curriculum for the schools in the county and my records were officially held at the school that I would have been going to, and when I graduated it was from that school. So essentially I went pubic school, and completed the courses and got the grades I got at my local high school, at least as far as the paper trail is concerned. If you have something like that in your area it might be worth looking into though it may take some work getting it as permanent placement. It took my parents some work to get this set up.

what would you like to know? i have been homeschooled since grade one [i'm graduating this year].

IMHO: Two red warning lights: "I am tired of my son coming home upset and fighting with him to go to school" and "He has started threatening to kill himself"

The most important thing here is what? The school's opinion? NO! It is your son! From what you have written, it is obvious that this school is just not working with him. People who homeschool, even if "badly," if they have their child's best interests at heart, will do a WAY better job than any school that is just trying to do their job, or get their funding or whatever.

Love, aspiegal

You actually don't HAVE to be super organized to be a homeschooler. You just have to have patience and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone a little. I am an organized person but my son usually goes and messes up my lovely schedule (LOL) by going off on some tangent and not wanting to learn what I have planned that day. He is 11 and doesn't always want to learn about the typical subjects you're "Supposed" to learn at 11- but that is the beauty of homeschooling.

There is something called "unschooling" which you may want to check out...

You have to, as someone else said, first see what the laws are like where you live - I live in a state that has few homeschool regulations.

The situation with your son seems very troubling and desperate. Our school situation was not that severe but it was bad enough that my son's happiness took precedence over any fear or doubt I had about pulling him out of school. We have been homeschooling for 2 years and I think it has been a life changing thing for him. No child should be so miserable and desperate in school.

Please ask any questions- we are here to help!

Pull your kid out NOW if he is threatening to kill himself. Sounds like school is not a good environment for him (warning, understatement alert).

I wish I had been homeschooled. If I have kids I am most definitely homeschooling them. I know more then most public school teachers know, I would have no problem educating my kids myself with my own home-made curriculum if I have the time.

IMO the Unschooling method would work well with aspie kids that, like I did when I was a kid and still do, cycle through special interests at a decent pace; I pretty much learned most of what I know outside of school. It probably wouldn't work so well with aspies that have one or two main special interests that they stick to, though; a better curriculum for that is to hind a way to connect topics to the kid's special interest (so, for example, teach math with word problems themed to the kid's special interest).

My son had a similar situation in public school. He spent most of his day with emotionally disturbed kids. They teased him because they were street smart and my son was not. My son became extremely depressed and he was making suicide comments.....like "I'm going to throw myself down the stairs" or he would take a butter knife out of the drawer and say he was going to kill himself. He was about to turn 8 years old. Public school was a nightmare and I was at the end of my rope with the IEP process. I had retained an attorney and was at the crossroads of suing the school or homeschooling.

I chose homeschooling. The depression went away. There has been absolutely no suicide talk since homeschooling started a little over 1 year ago. I was scared that I couldn't teach him at home, but then I realized they weren't teaching him a darn thing at public school. Also, I thought my son would not work very hard at his schoolwork...but that hasn't been a problem. It's not that he wanted to get out of schoolwork, it's that he needed to get out of the public school environment.

I also feared that the only homeschoolers would be religious ones. Although I am a Christian, this is not my reason for homeschooling. I have found so many other people in my area who are homeschooling because of autism spectrum disorder or special needs.

If you decide to homeschool, I would recommend joining the HSLDA dot org. They are a Christian group of lawyers, but they do provide free legal services to members if you ever have your homeschool status challenged by the State. They accept members who are not Christian as well. Their website has good legal info on homeschoolng laws in each of the United States.

A bit off topic, but taking him away from his interests seems like a horrible idea to me. I don't know about anyone else, but I am far happier alone, doing whatever I want. I always hated it when my parents tried to make me have more friends. Please look at this thread for other people's opinions on being forced to be social. He is probably very happy being alone, if you take this away he will become far more depressed and will most likely act worse. I remember when my parents would ban me from my computer for months at a time, I would get worse, they would ban me for longer, ect ect....until they figured out I was happiest by myself, I was not avoiding other people because I was depressed, but that being forced to interact MADE me depressed.

Riddick your post is just excellent. My son is 11 and he has had friends, does some socializing and has a really good friend now who has nearly the same interests as him but he is SO okay being alone. It used to bother me but then I thought why am I trying to make him a social butterfly - he's not and never will be!

He has stated on more than one occasion that he only has friends "because you force me to have them" which is half true. We give him the opportunity to be with kids at his own pace but when given the choice I think he would enjoy being alone more than enduring the stress of "being social". I just can't, as a parent, wrap my brain around the concept of not trying to help him be somewhat social. He needs to try to learn how to get along with some people sometime and then when he becomes an adult I guess he can choose to be anti-social if he prefers that.

I homechool my 11 y.o. HFA son. I put my NT girls in school this year because they weren't getting enough social experience (before anyone jumps on me, yes I know many HSers are perfectly socialized, but because I personally avoid social situations like the plague, and my son does too, the girls were too isolated). I would absolutely, unequivocally, homeschool in a situation such as you describe. If your son is suicidal from school, and you've made reasonable efforts to ameliorate the situation through the authoritative channels (and even if you haven't), I'd yank him out ASAP and let him get his life back. Personally, I really think I'd be a different, less messed up person today if I had been HSed and not forced to endure the hell I went through in school.

As far as resources: you can start with www.hslda.org , and there is a short book about homeschooling with AS that I got from the library once:

Choosing Home: Deciding to Homeschool With Asperger's Syndrome, by Martha Kennedy Hartnett. In it, she describes a similar situation to yours where she basically rescues her son from a toxic school atmosphere and HSs him.

As far as curriculum, we use Singapore Math, and some other books from the Singapore dept of ed (available from www.singaporemath.com -- all instruction in singapore is in english and their books are wonderful), Veritas Press history, and scoop up lots of library books each week. www.rainbowresource.com is a huge HSing supply source and is the cheapest around.

Good luck!

threatening to kill himself should be taken seriously.....have his threats been assessed by a professional?

I also think it's okay to keep him home and call him in sick. After 2 days, they likely will ask for a Dr. note. But I think pulling him out while thinking this over is a good idea.

He is being seen by a therapist for depression(although she thinks he has improved greatly over the last year,all I can see is he figured out how to lie t her), we are keeping him home at least for a day if not more, he tells us he isn't really planning on hurting himself he is happy and his normal self at home and with his therapist and with my parents, the only time he has problems and gets really upset is in school, he was really upset though and does desperately want to leave this school. Next year he will be in a different school, without the program he is in. My husband and I both have been discussing the homeschooling options, we like the idea but feel a bit like we may not be able to do it well although, I think it may work better, currently we supplement his normal school with extra information and study related to his interests, he gets bored at the school and loves to read a lot, the part we worry about is some of the socialization both his father and I tend to be reclusive, we have a few friends but not many.

I have a lot of mixed feelings about extra curricular activities like sports, in ways they can be fun but everything he has tried other then a birdwatching group or summer camp, he hated. My mother also involved me in a great many social activities baton twirling, dance classes till my knees gave out, (I had a congenital deformity that went unnoticed till I could barely walk) girl scouts etc. until I sorta flipped out at 12 and she decided it was better to not force me to be social.I hate being social myself(whenever asked what I wanted to be as a child I said hermit) except with a very few people and then only in smallish doses (oddly I can spend hours listening to my kids talk and doing things with them without the usual stress from people although if they get to huggy, cuddly climbing on my I get touched out so I understand the feeling of wanting to be alone. My mom on the other hand feels since he is a boy he can't be allowed to live an insulated life and needs to learn to deal with people as he will have to get a job and be out in the world.His therapist(we're trying to find one we can work with better everything she suggests turns into a disaster) feels we need to force him to deal with social situations, but that just doesn't seem like a good thing.

Thanks for the suggestions, I really like what i have at least today researched about unschooling.

Hi Kitsunetsuki - so sorry to read what you and your son are going through. I have been home educating my 9 year old(AS) son for a few years now and our situation is covered in the "Home Ed Articles" thread. I try to cover pretty much everything you need to know about Home Education there. If I can ever be of further help, please feel free to pm me. I've just updated it with the latest news and information. I truly wish you well.