I think my 3YO may have Asperger's--not sure what to do...

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HI Im new here so please bear with me....

I suspect my 3yo son may have Aspergers. Here are some of his issues:

-Is a "loner". Doesnt interact with other children or will only play one-on-one.

-Sensory issues, such as: Clumsiness, sensitive to sunlight, won't wear anything on his head, ie a hat, freaks out when entering loud rooms such as restaurants.

-very advanced vocabulary and academically. (knows all colors, letters, numbers, shapes including octogon, hexagon, etc.)
-fascinated by clocks

-will talk nonstop from morning till night

-cannot sit for a long period of time. wont sit with us at the table during a meal. (except in a restaurant) And is still unable to feed himself well with utensils.

He does make eye contact and is a very expressive, happy child. These symptoms are mild and strangers wouldn't even notice them. But we, as his parents are aware as is his pre-school teacher and I would like to start intervention as early as possible.

Thanks for any suggestions you may have,

This list may help:
list of Characteristics of Children to Adolescences AS symptoms
http://asplanet.info/forum/index.php?topic=161.0

If then still feel has speak to your doctor about - good to have alot of reasons before you go, so make a list as easier to diagnose then...

He sounds aspie to me, but I think it can be hard to diagnose someone so young. I'm not sure if intervention is the word you intended to use....I think of that as getting someone out of a cult or something!

I think a more positive approach would be to see which areas of life he struggles with and help him. Don't normalize him, just make sure he can cope and function on the level of most 3-year olds. Work on utensil holding. If he has a unique grasp that seems inefficient to you, let it be. As long as it works for him. I myself held scissors upside down until age 7 or 8. It hurt and didn't work too well, but I resisted the official methods. I had to do it my way. I still hold my pencil "wrong". But it works. Encourage social interaction by giving him plenty of oppurtunities for it, but don't force him to play with others. Playing by yourself is usually more fun anyway cause the other kids aren't as imaginative. Another thing you can do is open dialogue about other people's feelings. This is a concept more kids don't grasp until age 4 or so anyway, so its even age-appropriate social curriculum for NT kids. An Aspie just may need more of it.

It sounds like you and your child's teacher are both very observant. I hope this is a growing trend. Perhaps a result of more ASD info and coverage by the media?

I meant that I would like to get him "early intervention" which means to get him help.

I think I became aware of it because when he was one and a half, I thought he had speech problems and we had the county come in for early intervention. They thought he might be Apraxic. He had some therapy but actually turned out fine by the time he was two. But I always thought he had some "quirky" things about him (the "no hat" thing, being a loner at preschool, etc.) and finally started putting that all together and doing some research. I came across Asperger's on the internet.

Hmm...what to do, what to do...

Love the hell out of him, and give him all the understanding you can muster. Just like any other child

I DO love the hell out of him!! !

But part of loving him is helping him and that's why I came here to ask your opinion. Hmmm.....

The best aid you can give is to try and understand. While I was surely loved in my youth, the difference I felt regarding other people tore me apart. I felt like a failure, that I was letting my loved ones down...

I'm sure you'll do fine, and so will he. Knowing is half the battle, so the glass is already half full

if you want a definitive answer, take him to a professional. a diagnosis will be important once your child is in school, to aide in the process of getting an IEP.

talk to your pediatrician about your concerns. the doc should be able to refer you to someone local who can talk to you about evaluating your child......i'd research online as much as possible, but go to the evaluation with an open mind....i've found from experience that if you show up with a diagnosis in mind & share this with the evaluator, the evaluator very often gets defensive & thinks you're an obsessively over-concerned parent...........best to come up with a list of what concerns you, and let the docs help you find your way to a possible diagnosis............

sounds a lot like my son who is 4. and was dx(diagnosed) with AS(aspergers) just before he turned 4. i agree that you should have all your concerns and note all of his quirks then give the list to his doctor. my son'd pediatrician referred me to the place where he gets diagnosed but not sure how it works elsewhere.
the only thing may be the fact that he does give eye contact but it is important to note wehter or not he maintains it, for how long an average 3 year old would. i really noticed the difference in my son when his sister got a bit older and she was doing things he wasn't socially yet.
sometimes if a child is just smart they have no time for other kids who aren't as smart or don't like the things they do.
ultimately you know your child best and if something doesn't feel right then go with it and push to get him assessed, it's no harm to anyone. it may be easier to get him assessed later on but is best to get it done as early as possible, what a conundrum.
good luck it's awesome but a little frustrating at times.

You can probably also go through the county of department of education for an evaluation, since the public school system has a vested interest in identifying it's special needs students as early possible. It really depends on your own goals and specific needs what will be best. Our diagnosis is through the school system, and valid for school use only, but that suits me because we are getting everything we need through the school, and my son will be free to discard the label once he graduates, should he wish it. Not all school districts, however, will accept an internal diagnosis before rendering services.

FYI, it sounds to me like you son is doing fine with the skills he needs to have right now. As long as he is young enough to be in environments that are willing to adapt to his sensory needs, I would doubt he needs much help - yet.

Schooling from K on, however, is likely to be a different matter, because so many more skills that are difficult for Aspies come into play. The expectation that a child sit still increases, the social pressure increases, and you may begin to discover specific skills that are unusually difficult for him (my son, for example, cannot write or spell). Once all that starts to pile on, making sure that the teachers attend to his needs will be become very important.

Still, the number 1 "intervention" will always be trying to understand what your unique child needs, instead of trying to force a specific vision onto him of what he "should" be able to do, or "should" be like. And that, it seems, you and the preschool are already doing very well. Your son is really fortunate to have that.

I wish you the best of luck. I wouldn't trade any aspect of my Aspie son for anything. He is unique and gifted. The burdens can be frustrating, but they can all be coped with, long run, and are a pretty cheap price to pay for getting the gifts.

Congratulations!

Why did you not take him to doctor when you first had concerns?
Aside from that he sounds like my boy at 3 altho mine wasn't talking that much.

I want to amend my post above, because I've realized that I do believe there are a couple of things you could do right now that might help your child, and you probably do not need a diagnosis to access them.

The first is occupational therapy. We actually considered this when my son was in preschool, because it was suggested to us that he might have sensory issues (Aspergers came up later), but our pediatrician told us he thought the best remedy for dealing with sensory issues was simply to pay good attentioin to your child (which really is true), and so we dropped the idea. But a friend of ours did enroll her son in OT, and felt it was very helpful. Looking back, I wonder if OT couldn't have given my son a better start on his fine motor skills. At 4 we really had no idea there was ever going to be an issue there, but .... ANYWAY, the main thing is, that OT seems to be a non-stressful intervention, that can end up helping. Sort of in the "certainly can't hurt" category. It tends to involve creative exercises and other things that should be kind of fun for your child. As long as your child doesn't have an issue with the sessions, it would be worth a try, in my opinion, since it shouldn't interfere with the "let your child be free for a little longer" concept.

The second thing you can do is start investigating the local elementary schools. Bear in mind that what is a good school for an NT child is often NOT a good school for an Aspie. What you will want is a diverse environment that believes in teaching to the individual child, while still providing structure (structure is good; conformity bad). You will also want a strong special education department that parents feel works with them, and not against them (apparently a rare thing; we have been very lucky in this area). Be aware that often the "best" schools are fostering an eletist (sp?) vision that really is based on conformity, which will not be a good environment for a child who is a little unique. The school size is also a consideration, because it will be easier for your child to become understood and accepted in a group of grade-level peers that has 30 - 60 children, than one that has 180.

Finally, I don't know if you work, but an aftercare/daycare program can also end up being an asset. So, while checking out schools, you may want to look at the programs the school has for this as well. My children attend aftercare two days a week and, while my son did have some adjustment issues at first, I would say that it's been good for him (and he would agree - when I cut them back to one day a week, he asked to return to two!). The director is an amazing woman with a fantastic understanding of spectrum children, and she has worked with my son on a number of social areas, basically helping him negotiate with the other children. He now uses his daycare time to either complete his homework in the company of friends, or to try out his latest game invention. He'll use the art materials to create the game cards and boards he has thought up, and then a group of younger children will help him "beta test" the game (these kids are kind of like his groupies, lol, and I think it's the cutest thing). Basically, aftercare gives him a set group of children to practice his social skills on without me constantly have to work on playdates, so it has proved helpful as well. Rather inadvertently, lol. Still, it could just as easily have gone the other way, and become one more place that my was teased and hurt, so choosing correctly is very important.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 01 Mar 2008, 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You can also go through your local school district. They should have a free comprehensive screening for preschool age kids. Just get a hold of the district office and tell them that you suspect your child has a disability. Once you get a diagnosis the school disctrict is obligated to provide a preschool program as well as occupational therapy and speech therapy. Many people find their school's offerings to be insufficient. We did not, though, and have been able to get everything we needed (except for summer programming) through the school.

Hi! I'm in Australia so not sure how it works where you are. Early intervention is good if not for your son but for you. The earlier you get to know and understand your child the better able you'll be to help him.
My son had good eye contact, or so I thought. On closer examination tho nope it's not so great. He is clever and will focus on another part of the talkers face/head it's not so obvious he does this. He also stands way to close, in some cases is practicaly climbing on us or sitting in our laps. I also remember saying to my now 9 year old every time I spoke to him J look at me please I want to tell you something. So I guess in a way I may have taught him to face speakers when they are talking and at least give the appearance he is looking at them. J's AS diagnoses is only a few months old.
We went threw our peadiatrican who then referred us on.
J has sensory issues to, more so when he is stressed. I didn't know about his sensory issues till we were going threw the evaluation process. He told one of the docs that the lights and the noises bother him at the shopping center, mind you he had never said this to me. All he had ever said to me is that he didnt like shopping and he always complained that he was tired.
J also appears very social and always has. However he is very much in everyones face and very much wants things done his way or will end up frustrated and in tears. He is very forward and will say what ever he is thinking (never entered my mind that this was an aspie thing).
Anyway I could go on forever. Good luck with your son. Get your dx it will help you to understand your child and it will help others understand him.