Is this a stim?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all,
Apart from the regular stuff that J does ie, pacing,head scratching,scratching/grabbing/readjusting his under wear,talking.

J has started two new things and I'm just wondering if these are a new stim/sensory seeking behaviour he likes to grab and pinch my arms yep the flabby part (lol how humiliating) and he will play with my hair, I have long hair, this is usually not to bad tho sometimes he is a little rough. He used to twirl his hair, but mine must hold more interest at the moment.

J is very touchy feely and insists on leaning on both my son or myself whilst watching tv. He actually sits on my 18 year old sons back if my son is laying on the couch. We sometimes ask him to get off us and he does but within minutes he is all over us again.
This one I think is sensory seeking, however I have been asked if he is tactile defensive, he jumps when people touch him and he isn't expecting it, but not with me or not that I've noticed. I know when we are out at say a clothes shop, he will touch things. I'm confused.

Are these stims?
can he be both tactile defensive and tactile seeking?
Do your kids do this?

I know J uses people as toys when he plays, is this what we are when he needs stimulation?

Lots of questions I know and I'm sorry But this is a great place to get info from not only other parents but actual aspies that can explain what is going on.

Thanks peoples.

I know that my son is very much a sensory seeker in the area of touch. He needs it. I believe that constantly touching things and people results in large part from his need for constant motion, combined with being tactile. But the comfort and centering seem to be why he loves to cuddle, although it's more like an attack hug than a process of mutual affection. Be glad that your son isn't trying to eat and suck on your hair, as mine does!

My message to my son is that there are acceptable ways to fulfill these needs of his, and unacceptable. Chewing on my hair is in the later category. He does it so absentmindely, but when I ask him to stop, he always will, and will apologize. We try to always give him an alternative. If his mouth needs to be active, he can have a straw. If he needs to cuddle, I may ask that he wait a moment until we can settle into a mutually comfortable spot. And so on.

As for being touched, I haven't thought much about it, but I would assume that your son disliking the touch of strangers is a control issue. A combination of not expecting it, and not being the one in control of it.

Overall, no, I do not believe that our children use us in a way similar to how they use playthings. Sometimes, maybe, when nothing else is around, but not on the whole. I seem to be an important touch base for my son's emotional needs more than anything else. He relies on me to calm him down, to get him through difficult experiences, and so on. And he can be unusually sweet and perceptive when it comes to me, and other members of our immediate family. He is definitely paying attention there, creating baselines and understanding in his own unique way, more than he does with others.

Damien can be a bit touchy feely at times but he doesn't like cuddles that much. he has been interested in my um chest (total male ) but i tell him NO.
He does like playing with my hair and so I turn it into a game of 'hairdressers'.

Yes, you can be both tactile defensive and seeking. My daughter is the same way. I believe that the constant touching is more of a sensory issue and not a stim in the way that other things are considered a stim. (with exception to the hair touching depending on how he's using it)