Advice, PLEASE!

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Hi
Damien is having alot of problems at school at playtime (recess)and lunchtime. He just doesn't know what to do exactly. The clasroom isn't too much of a problem for him and his teacher can tell when it is getting a bit much for him. She has a beanbag for him to sit in and a special box of trucks just for him and little handheld bean bags for him to play with on the mat. She has got a plan for playtime and lunchtime for him and I drew a happy face on one hand and his 100 on the other. I told him that is he feels sad or yuk to look at them because they make him happy.

His main problem is that is not allowing himself to stim to relieve stress and is either having a panic attack at school or major stimming when I pick him up. He knows I don't mind and I know he is happier after 5-10 or so minutes of stimming.

How can I make him understand that it is OK to stim a bit at school?? Should I suggest to the teacher to schedule in some time for him to stim so he feels calmer?

Personally I would not worry so much, and if he needs to stim then let him know its ok - he may of heard not to do in front of the other children and then it worries him to do so - but its apart of who he is and he will grow out of it, or learn to adapt his stimming to fit in.

This link may help..
Reasons for Stimming
http://www.danasview.net/stimrsns.htm

Thank you, will have a look.
Opps I see it got moved

Maybe the teacher could provide a private place for him to go to stim. I personally think it should be okay to do it in front of others. The problem is kids that age can be cruel because they have a lack of understanding. Providing him with a private place he can go to when he feels overwhelmed should help things.

He has a good uderstanding of social expectations, hasn't he? Could you discuss with him the problem of public stimming, the need for stimming and where he can stim?

Am I expecting too much from a little boy?

You are doing a wonderful job with him.

Hi,
Your son sounds like a younger version of mine.

You are very lucky tho that his teacher is so understanding, my sons teacher/school see nothing. J is 9 and is doing such a good job of acting by the time he gets home school can't be talked about at all. We have learnt to just let him do his thing for however long it takes. Sometimes minutes sometimes the remainder of the day. Things have gotten so bad for him he only attends normal school for 4 days the other day is spent in an autistic arts program. (which is more or less respite care for over whelmed aspies)

You are doing a great job, don't ever doubt yourself.

Someone suggested to me to give J some worry beads to keep in his pocket, he can fiddle with these and no one will know.

I haven't tried this yet, to be honest I forgot all about it till reading your post.

Good luck Aurea.

Moonhoppers are the best invention
Damien spent playtime and lunchtime playing on one of the classes moonhoppers and was far more settled. He asked for a friend and the teacher gave the 'job' to the most outspoken girl in the class she was great tho. She followed him round while he moonhopped and it helped him knowing that someone was there for him. His social skills are not good at all and while he loves being alone he needs someone to keep him on track or tell/show him what to do. Still let loose on way home tho

although i don't see an issue with stimming, other kids can be cruel...........what about seeing if he can go to the bathroom to stim? it would be a private place, and there wouldn't be any extra attention brought to the fact that he needs to stim.

Great idea but you try and make Damien realise that
He is the one with the problem stimming at school, whether another kid has hassled him I don't know but he just won't do it at school. I just think if he did he would be calmer and happier like at home.

ah, i see.......i think i was confused about his desire to stim......there's not a whole lot you can do to make him stim. i have students who stim all day at school, and stim far less at home. i also have students who hold it together during the day and fall apart at home....maybe an OT can work with him on self-soothing techniques that he can use at school. perhaps if he associates the technique with school, he'd be more prone to use one.

Yep, he is one that holds it together (most of the time) at school then when I get him (me is a 'safe' person) he lets it out.