hey moms of aspies out there

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ok. I came across Asperger's Syndrome in an article of Forbe's magazine that was dealing with Cognitive Behavior Therapy, that I was reading because I was trying to stop my echolalia (it was driving me nuts).

Now I have spent the past month and a half doing in depth research into Asperger's because it fits my life esperiences to a T. I keep finding the little things that I go "oh yeah I do that too."

About 2 weeks ago I asked my mom (an RN) if she would read up on Asperger's because I thought I had it. She said she would. I asked her yesterday if she had looked into it and she tells me that she didn't think I had it. She didn't think I was autistic so she stopped looking. She keeps saying I am just saggittarius and have what the rest of the family has. (this is where I go off the deep end on the phone and go "yeah mom, that's cause it's genetic") I have an uncle that has a room devoted to Star Trek paraphernalia, a grandmother that collects cats (they are taken care of), and an aunt that had a 10 x 10 aviary in her back yard before a hurricaine took it down,


Is there anything you guys can suggest to help me with my mother?

I need someone in my corner in order for me to get into a psychologist's office for a Dx. I have to have a Dx because I need help. I actually told mom that I wanted her to look into this for me because I am struggling and need help. My Dad isn't really an option because we don't really have talking contact very often, and they divorced when I was little, with me going to mom for the duration.

How old are you? Are you a legal adult? Why can't you pursue a dx on your own, with your own doctor or therapist, without going through your mother?

"Oh you're just a Sagittarius" -

Sorry I thought that was hilarious.

I don't know if you have AS or not - if I was you I'd write down everything I can think of about myself that makes me think I might be Aspie, print out some good descriptive articles/clinical pieces about AS from online, and take all that to my doctor.

And you also don't really NEED a dx to get "help." Again I don't know if you're an adult or not, though. This matters somewhat.

Opinions are just that: opinions. If you feel you need assistance, and believe that a diagnosis would get that for you, then enter the process with or without your mother's agreement. If I recall from another thread, you are old enough.

Still, I realize it can be overwhelming, and I am assuming from your message that you would like your mother's assistance. What I would explain to her is that the reason you wanted her opinion was less about the label, but more about what you are hoping a diagnosis under that label can get you. Then explain to her the areas you feel you need assistance in. She may have some funny answer for all those, as well, but ultimately you have to remember that if you can get across that you really need help, she will want to get that for you. It may require being a lot more open and honest about personal matters with her than you would be inclined to be.

In the end, a diagnosis is only worth what it can acheive for you. The one I have for my son gets him assistance in school, and gives me a guideline for how to deal with him, and help him through his issues. I honestly don't care if it is the correct label, because acting on the assumption that it is has acheived what we needed. If you do go into a diagnostic process, be open to different labels as long as they will get you the help you need. Don't lock yourself into any forgone conclusions.

Age 23? You do not need your mom...is it an insurance thing? Are you a student? Are you on your mom's insurance? Still don't need her.

You can do this. This website is a great help. Books are a great help. Understanding yourself is a great help. You don't need your mom. Hopefully she will support you, but you can do this.

For the record, I'm a student, still on my mother's insurance plan [valid until my 25th birthday]. I got my diagnosis and all my services (in fact, all here on campus) without ever breathing a word to her - it's a privacy issue once you're the age of majority - so it can be done even if you are on her insurance plan.

Diagnosing adults with Asperger's is tricky, because they've often learned to adapt.

The shrink will want to interview someone who knew Kit as a child.

Kit, it doesn't matter whether or not your mum thinks you have Asperger's.

It would be helpful for your Mum to discuss with the shrink what you were like as a child. Can you ask her to do this for you.

I have discussed diagnosing adults with our psychologist (she works in an Autism/Asperger's clinic). She said it is helpful to talk with the parents about the person's childhood. If not, talking to friends, spouses, siblings etc helps build a picture to lead to diagnosis.

Helen

thank you guys...

i have my own insurance, so it has nothing to do with that. it is more the fact of getting me make the appointment by myself, of remembering to go to the appointment, and once there, of actually going in.

i don't have friends, a spouse, or siblings that were around long enough to know me.

i have been writing down things one by one as i find them, it's some of the reason why i spend so much time in here on the parent's board. i have a legal pad where i write down the symptom, then a specific memory if i can remember it. i have a habit of walking into a doctor's office an d walking out and never speaking about what actually brought me in. or of being asked a question and knowing there is an answer only not being able to form the words to it until after i leave the office. don't get me wrong i love coming up with solutions to things, and giving my input if i think it is helpful, but this board also helps me think.

and yes, i do know how to hide many of my outward signs, as i said, i was studying cognitive behavior therapy, and i have learned not to give myself openings (like paperclips). i also have a list of questions written on a legal pad for the psych, one of which is "i have a series of learned functions that i call my programming that allow me to get by for the most part in school and work, do you need to know when i am doing this?"

kit--is there a support group where you are for people with AS and their parents? I searched online and found one in my area and it has really helped a lot. There are adult aspies who attend, parents of kids with AS and a counselor. Some of the adults with AS weren't dx until adulthood. It might help you find some of the answers you are looking for.