Am i correct that you are looking for solutions on improving the interactions of NT's and Aspies?
First and foremost, children need a diversity inclusive environment starting from very early in elementary school. Bullying cannot be tolerated. And this attitude needs to extend to all the parents. My son has benefited greating from being in an economically, socially, racially, and nuerologically diverse school, where the entire community works hard to teach children that EVERYONE has a positive place in this world, no one is "better" than anyone else, and so on.
Second, Aspies themselves have to take a few steps. For example, my son doesn't care about personal hygiene. I am sorry, he has to learn this. The world around him will not tolerate him stinking, and it is difficult to blame them. At some level, for some things, Aspies have to accept and conform to the view of the world around them. While everyone deserves to be accepted as they are, that is not and never will be a free ticket to ignore all the rules of society that someone with this condition is perfectly capable of learning.
Third, I think it is important for Aspies to have a "safe place" at home, where they can release all their stress in the ways most suited to them, without worrying about criticism. Having this allows my son to present a more "normal" face while in public. He is learning to save certain behaviors for home. Everyone in life needs to learn that there is an appropriate time and place, and an inappropriate time and place, for almost anything, but this becomes more important for Aspies. An adult Aspie will want to set this up for himself; a parent like me a child with Aspergers will need to be sure to create it for the child. Our furniture is being trashed by our son's pacing but I coming to accept this as a reasonable cost to all the gifts he brings us.
Fourth, more education is needed on all sides. Aspies understanding why NT's do certain things; NT's getting a more solid understanding of the impairments and assets spectrum conditions bring. The more we get brave Aspies willing to accept the stress of public speaking and be vocal about their experiences in a way that the NT world can understand, the more progress we make on this. As for the vice-a-versa, that is my job as a parent. Again, letting my son be is a positive thing, but only to a point. It is my job to help him understand and accomodate for the things he doesn't see, so that they do not become frustrations to him in the future.
Fifth, while I smile at the comments here about how superior the Aspie brain is, and agree with that statement in a large part, the attitude does not help the situation. It encourages separation, rather than encourages it, and creates self-fulfilling negative conflicts.
Is this the sort of thing you are looking for?
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
17 Mar 2008, 10:58 am
