Toileting question, advice please

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Damien really doesn't like wiping after doing poos. He's scared he will get poo on his hand. He also won't wash hands after toilet.
I have a toileting picture strip in the bathroom but not sure how else I can help him.

Not entirely sure about the washing hands part, maybe the water coming out of the faucet is too cold? Let it warm up a bit before he washes his hands.

As for the toilet paper, I had the same problem! If he doesn't mind the texture of the paper, get some that won't clog your septic system and USE A BUNCH. That way there's no risk.

I wish I had an answer for you. I do think tmad had a useful insight. My son was prone for quite a while to go with what we had taken to calling auto-wipe, ie what happens when you don't wipe and let your undies do it for you. GROSS. I guess we nagged enough, and forced him back in the bathroom enough after seeing poop without paper in the potty (he doesn't flush, either) that he finally decided to solve for himself whatever issue he had with wiping. Oh, and he didn't like the itchy rashes he was getting. THAT was probably the biggest incentive to fix the situation, lol. Mother nature. Learning first hand that the stories mom and dad tell are true.

Flushing is another story. I think flushing freaks him out a bit. I can only HOPE he understands our messages about why it is ESSENTIAL to flush when at school or out in public. I THINK he does. He SAYS he does ... but ...

If my son doesn't wash his hands, I send him back. I've explained it a million times, I charged fines for not doing it, and I've finally decided I simply have to enforce it. Listen to see if he washes, check his hands, and send him back if he doesn't wash. I've explained the reasoning, I've asked him to explain what his issues are with it, but we seem to simply be locked in a battle of wills on that one.

we have the same problem, no solution unfortunately.

Lots of toilet paper, and lots of time to do it as carefully and slowly as he likes, except I have explained that it's easier when fresh!

Handwashing.. I don't either, unless I know, from sheer feel, that I need to clean something off.

what about disposable gloves ?

School didn't help, because they all went in a line, like a "train", and had to ask for paper beforehand if wanted a s**t, and the cubicles were open fronted so when everybody else had finished they all stood in front of my son on the toilet, still wiping his bottom, waiting for him to finish so they could go back to class.

He wasn't given near enough toilet paper either, and not having the time or privacy to do it properly, he often came home with s**t in his knickers.

It has taken a long time for him to get over that school trauma. It's only in the last year or so, 2-3 years later, that he has begun taking the time he needs and doing it properly.