Bully's Family Ignored Me!

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My 9 year old was having problems with another kid who was verbally bullying him on the bus.

I know the family - see them at Taekwondo 2/week. Mum, Dad and the 3 brothers do Taekwondo.

My son had been friends with this kid last year - a few turns hanging out at each other's house - so it was disappointing this kid had started bullying my son.

Anyway last week I phoned and spoke to the dad to talk about the bullying. Dad agreed it was unacceptable and my son reports the bullying has stopped.

The family didn't go to Taekwondo last week. Tonight was the first time I'd seen them since the phone call.

Anyway the whole family ignored me when I said hello. A few times I tried to start a chat with the parents but they treated me like I was invisible.

Boy was I mad - we've been quite friendly / chatty in the past. Why are they ignoring me when it was their son who was the bully?

So I was feeling cranky. Then the 16 year old brother had his turn holding up the kick bag. Boy did I kick the cr*p out of that bag. Had him taking quite a few steps back. I've never kicked so well in my life.

*insert a few swear words here about the bully and his family*

End of my rant.

I feel much better now.

Helen

perhaps the family was doing their best to not betray their son's feelings.

according to my observations, within family, people will support eachother beyond the question of who they feel is in the wrong.

and perhaps the bully situation is a bit more complex than what it appears on the surface.
we couldnt know unless we can fully explore the feelings of both children and their interactions.

I experienced a similar thing recently. In our case, I think the other kid explained his side of the situation. My son can be unfriendly and rude to other kids if he's stressed and needs to get out of a social situation. He'll make rude comments to other kids and they never forget it. They hound him as their enemy. Other moms are not so sympathetic when they hear the very rude thing that my kid did in the first place.

*solidarity smelena*

good job in protecting your son. I would echo Shayne's comments about family togetherness.

Sometimes it's when people tell you what you don't want to hear... you shoot the messenger.

is it possible that this family is embarrassed, and therefore is loath to talk...?

if not, well, I think many of us have dealt with a similiar situation. I had longtime "friends" who, once my son was arrested for vandalism, treated me like I was a plague upon the earth. they'd look down their noses at me & scoff.........My son stopped vandalizing, paid a fine, & did a whole lot of community service hours. He's learned his lesson. But do you think these people talk to me anymore ?....I guess they're just too good for us....

I've learned to accept the fact that I cannot control what other people think about me. I can only be the person that I am. I can be the best wife/friend/mom/coworker I can be. and that has to be good enough. if people don't like me, or turn their noses up, I feel sorry for them. I'm a good person.

I vote for "embarassed" too, that's what I was thinking this morning. We (humans) are so wired for dominance and submission that we can't handle being corrected well. I think you're very lucky that you are able to get your point across to the dad to the end that the boy stopped his bullying behavior. They may fear that you use it against them or think they're bad parents.
Ironically, they may even see your behavior as aggressive. Not saying it's logical, but that's how people think.

I didn't even think about them being embarassed. That's probably what it was!

At least I improved my kicking

We take it in turns holding the kick bag and a line of people take it in turns to kick. Some people have extremely strong kicks and the person holding the kick bag staggers back. It's the first time I've had someone take more than 2 steps back.

Thanks for your replies. I'll keep being friendly to the family and the awkwardness will pass soon hopefully.

Helen

Have yourson carry aa little tape recorder in his pocket where he records the verbal bullying without anyone knowing. Then that can be used as evidence in court when you SUE them!