If Aspie Child isn't ready for college post high school?

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motherofhim
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21 Mar 2008, 2:20 pm

Our son is barely graduating from high school. He loathes doing homework. It's not that he can't do it, it's just nearly impossible to get him to do enough to graduate, perhaps. We feel that he will, if he does graduate high school, will not be ready for college, one that we can afford, anyway. Does anyone know of any help or agencies that can help with this type of problem? We are at a loss as to what to do to keep our son occupied with his personal limitations. Any information would be greatly appreciated.


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Jeyradan
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21 Mar 2008, 2:47 pm

Depending on the post-secondary school and the program he takes, there are many classes that don't require homework... grades are based entirely on, say, a mid-term and a final exam. You do your own studying when and where you will throughout the year. Would something like that work better?
Also, if it's related to a learning disability or other problem that is diagnosed, you can perhaps talk to a college's disability services to see if he can get alternate arrangements instead of doing assignments... like monthly oral examinations in the professor's office to make sure he knows the material, or something like that.



Nan
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21 Mar 2008, 2:52 pm

Is there some reason he cannot be in a vocational training program that will lead to a paid job when he's done? Not everyone is or needs to be college material. I've got a friend who's been a welder for 25 years. He makes $35 an hour and has worked steady for years and years, with a backlog of work waiting for him. I've got a friend who has a PhD in history. He makes $24 an hour...when he works. :wink:



Zsazsa
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21 Mar 2008, 3:03 pm

Does your community offer any Day Treatment Programs for young people over 18 years old? In my hometown, there is an
excellent Day Treatment Program which offers social activities, arts and crafts, computer games, a job club (which provides simple job preparation for entry level jobs with job coaches to assist when a member is ready to venture out into some kind of small, easy to do jobs in the community) and counselors who run these groups and are available when one needs to talk over life issues.

Many of these members are just out of high school or high school dropouts working on their GEDs...yet, all have some kind of
mental health diagnosis. Such day treatment programs were created with young people like your son in mind, simply not ready
to take on college and really not yet able to enter the job market.

If you do not have any day treatment programs in your community, have you considered keeping your son in high school for an
additional year? My nephew has Asperger's Syndrome and he stayed in high school for five years, rather than the typical four
years, for the very same reasons you describe about your son. Now, my nephew is at a community college and doing very well
all because of that "extra" year in high school.



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21 Mar 2008, 3:13 pm

motherofhim wrote:
Our son is barely graduating from high school. He loathes doing homework. It's not that he can't do it, it's just nearly impossible to get him to do enough to graduate, perhaps. We feel that he will, if he does graduate high school, will not be ready for college, one that we can afford, anyway. Does anyone know of any help or agencies that can help with this type of problem? We are at a loss as to what to do to keep our son occupied with his personal limitations. Any information would be greatly appreciated.


Sounds like it's your ego that's the problem. Can you handle that he's not going to College? Sounds like to me that he doesn't.



Tortuga
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21 Mar 2008, 3:38 pm

What about community college? They would also have disability services. Or, what about a distance learning program?

Does he want to go to college? If he doesn't, then you should encourage him to get a skill that doesn't require college. It doesn't work if the parent picks the program, picks the degree, etc... I've seen this with typical adolescents. They have to have some motivation on their own to pursue a degree.



motherofhim
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21 Mar 2008, 3:42 pm

Tortuga wrote:
What about community college? They would also have disability services. Or, what about a distance learning program?

Does he want to go to college? If he doesn't, then you should encourage him to get a skill that doesn't require college. It doesn't work if the parent picks the program, picks the degree, etc... I've seen this with typical adolescents. They have to have some motivation on their own to pursue a degree.


This has nothing to do with our ego....we want to help our son in any way we can to help him enjoy a productive life, whatever it is. We need to work within his limitations and will do that, but our son just isn't mature enough, yet, to decide what he wants. I think that this causes anxiety for him.

I don't think another year of school is possible in our school district. He isn't very handy, but I will try to contact the township and see what is possible. Maybe there are possibilties that we have not found out about.


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21 Mar 2008, 3:45 pm

Another possibility is that maybe he should take some time off from school after he graduates. He could work, and figure out what he would like to do, and also gain some maturity BEFORE he goes to college. He could take one class in something that he particularly likes, and see how that goes -- that class could be in a community college, at night or some other time when he's not working. This might provide time for reflection and give him an opportunity to really know what he wants to do in his future.

Kris



motherofhim
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21 Mar 2008, 3:54 pm

I checked in the phone book and our town has an Ombudsman for Disabled Citizens. I am going to give them a call next week and see what services they could possibly offer. Maybe there is something that would help with the goings on of my son's life post high school. At least I will give it a try. I am not saying he is per se, disabled, but he is a high needs teenager.


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motherofhim
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21 Mar 2008, 4:14 pm

It seems that our son wants to go to Community College, and we will give him that chance, of course, but we have told him that he will have to get his work done on a more independent basis. He seems to feel that Community College will be fine for him. We will give him that chance and I hope it works out for the best, unless he doesn't pass math, Algebra 2R, which is a prerequisite for graduating in our school district.


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Lonermutant
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21 Mar 2008, 5:13 pm

motherofhim wrote:
It seems that our son wants to go to Community College, and we will give him that chance, of course, but we have told him that he will have to get his work done on a more independent basis. He seems to feel that Community College will be fine for him. We will give him that chance and I hope it works out for the best, unless he doesn't pass math, Algebra 2R, which is a prerequisite for graduating in our school district.


It seems to me that a simple, unskilled job would be the best for him. He doesn't sound like a person who would be right for a College education.



motherofhim
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21 Mar 2008, 6:24 pm

This young man is the type of person who doesn't listen to reason. He is extremely stubborn, to his own downfall and although this is difficult to see and deal with, apparently he will have to learn this on his own.


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ster
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21 Mar 2008, 8:34 pm

i just found out that my son will qualify for Bureau of Rehab Services assistance............this dept is supposed to help with employment post high school. job coaches if necessary.......might want to check out your state for more info.

on another note, my hubby ( who's aspie) barely scraped by in high school , but managed to get both an associates & bachelors degree !



KimJ
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21 Mar 2008, 8:38 pm

Community colleges often contain vocational programs within them. I went for the transfer credits alone but my brother got a welding certificate. I don't know how expensive they are but they have work/study programs and are geared for people that need more help.



westernwild
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22 Mar 2008, 9:38 am

My son is a sophomore in high school and, although he tests off the charts in every single subject and is, by the "professional" opinion, extremely bright, he just doesn't like to do his work and has a lot of trouble with organization and getting work done. Unless we can get him to dramatically improve over the next two years, I think I'm going to have him not go to college for at least a year after graduation. He can work and maybe take a community college course or two in the meantime. But, at least at this point, I think it would be too much for him to jump right into full-time college, especially if he lives there and isn't at home.

You might want to consider that with your son. Doing things gradually instead of all at once seems to really help in these situations. I know it sure as hell would have helped me to have done that, I know I would have done a lot better in college and in life in general.


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motherofhim
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22 Mar 2008, 11:47 am

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will also contact the state in which we live, to see what services there might be for persons like my son. Anything at all, cannot hurt to look.


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