Other parents....

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Baby J is 4 yrs old and was diagnosed with autism when he was about 16 months. With his OT and speech therapy he has made amazing progress since then. He's communicating and trying to socialize now. He still has some issues especially with regard to being obsessed with trains and HOW he socializes & communicates. He will 'latch on' to one person at his class or at functions with extended family and he won't give them a break at all. This is particularly hard for the other person as typically he wants to do the same activity over and over for hours.

His doc thinks he may have aspergers which is still an autism spectrum disorder.... yet still because he is able to communicate now, other parents I know who have kids with autism tell me that he can't possibly have autism.

I have tried to be as polite as I can with them and let them know that he may possibly have been 'high functioning' to begin with or that we may have been lucky in finding the right combination of things that worked for him but I am beginning to think that I should just avoid them all together just so I don't have to deal with them being rude to me.

How do I deal with this issue with the other parents? I would have figured that with other parents of children with autism they would understand that it is a spectrum and some people may be more affected than others or be happy that Baby J has made such amazing progress.

BeautyWithin, alot of parents have no clue about autism, alot of them think it's cause of vaccinations,brain damage, I know my adopted parents, i'm 28, my adopted parents are 40-55 yrs old and they had no clue what autism/aspergers was when i was growing up. of course they know know, but alot of parents are clueless on the subject.

I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bi polar, PTSD, schizophrenia and alot of others in the last 26 yrs until i was diagnosed with aspergers just 2 years ago.

This is just one of the many areas where Autism Speaks is doing so much damage. People, even parents of autistics, are led to think that only the more extreme forms are really autism and anything else isn't. They endlessly promote that, especially in the cases of autism they feature. They never show the spectrum range or give much information about the spectrum. Guess it wouldn't help their propagandistic agenda then, would it?

I think it is just a good idea to avoid any people who are inherently(no desire to learn or question their own concept of reality) unteachable and rude. Listen to your "gut"...these kinds of people do nothing but drain us...like psychic vampires.

Most people know very little about autism and Autism Speaks and other groups trying to "raise awareness" are not helping with the picture portrayed. Most people don't understand that most autistics are not like Rain Man. There are far more like us than there are those who are severely affected. Most people don't even understand that it's possible to be a "little autistic." My kids' elementary school is the one school in our district that has the training and support for autistic classrooms. I still find that the staff are extremely ignorant in matters regarding HFA. Most of the parents who have children that go to the school seem unbelievably ignorant. Thankfully my daughter's teacher has 2 other kids with Aspergers or HFA and he has been very good with them.

I would suggest that most people are not ready to know or understand that people like us are out there. If someone who seems "normal" on the surface has autism, then what does that mean? It means that hey might have to question about whether they or their children could have autism as well. They are ignorant and they choose to remain so out of fear of the unknown in my opinion.

My father is completely ignorant and in complete denial despite the likely possibility that 3 or 4 of his children are HFA/Aspie and it is almost certainly HIS genetics that passed it on to us. He can't fathom that his granddaughter has autism- is in complete denial, despite the fact that her symptoms have been staring him in the face and have been obvious for years. He still blames most of my and my siblings social anxiety on our mother "coddling" us and not making us do things for ourselves. I've got news for him, I am 31 years old and haven't been mommy-coddled for a VERY ling time. I've been a mommy myself for 10 years now. I've still got social anxiety and I still hate to order my own food at a restaurant, check out at the cashier in the store, talk to people in person at a business, etc. It has nothing to do with the way we were raised.

Thanks for your responses. I am going to try my best to avoid these other parents. I sometimes wondered if it is because baby J has done so well that they are trying to somehow nullify his progress but I now realize that a lot of their misconceptions has a lot to do with Autism Speaks. I never really paid too much attention to them before. Instead I look for more practical insight into things. I actually find all of their emotional spiel very annoying. From what I saw they seem to spend so much time mourning their children's autism instead of valuing their children. It is so sad that Autism Speaks seems to have so much influence on what people think they know about autism. If only they were giving a more rounded view on the subject instead of trying so hard to push their agenda.

Isn't it funny that everyone becomes an expert on autism when they're around you? Friends, family other parents are sure they know what is wrong with you child when, in fact, NO ONE knows your child better than you. THere will even be professionals who don't know what they're talking about. Some of these misinformed people are well-intentioned, some are know-it-alls, some are just difficult people to be shunned and ignored as much as possible.

Have a few responses at the ready for these situations or just ignore them completely and go about the business of helping your own child. You don't have time for dealing with ignorance and rudeness.