Page 1 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

mom2bax
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 222
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba

14 Apr 2008, 9:55 pm

doea anyone else's child(ren) respond to something that you've told them hundreds of times before like it was hte first time you have said it each time you say it?

for example i reminded my son that cups (with water in them) are not for hands they are for drinking out of, and he says OH okay. and stops
we have had this discussion many times and the way he responded facial expression tone etc it was like it was the first time i have suggested this to him and it made sense.

he just seems to be doing a lot of that lately just wondering if it's "normal" AS behavior?



NayNay2
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 21
Location: Cincinnati

14 Apr 2008, 10:23 pm

My son has AS and has Sensory issues too which sometimes causes him to not recall the simplest of things and we have to repeat ourselves quite often. I feel as if I repeat myself so much now its almost a habit even when not dealing with him.



sinagua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 368
Location: Rhode Island

14 Apr 2008, 10:35 pm

This happens to us all the time. It drives us insane. We can't decide how much is the AS, and how much is just him being a very bright, potentially manipulative nine-year-old who just wants to postpone doing something he doesn't want to do by feigning ignorance. ;) :? :(



KimJ
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,418
Location: Arizona

14 Apr 2008, 11:06 pm

My son is autistic and sometimes I think it's because his speech issues interferes with his comprehension and sometimes I think he is completely checked out. lights on, no one's home. not in the way that he's not smart but that is just not present. He's in SuperMarioland or a Gene Kelly movie. I think that is it. I make him show me that he's listening with his body. I don't force eye contact but I do get him to "come here and show that you're listening". then I use gestures when I talk so he remembers better.
It takes me a long to absorb what I'm hearing too so I know it's not all on purpose. My husband thinks I'm not listening or I don't think it's important.

I think we talk so much we forget how intrusive it is for autistic ears. They may be shutting us out for protection. Like there is so much talk they don't know what it's meant for.



nomad21
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2008
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 276

14 Apr 2008, 11:15 pm

Often my mom will tell me something or remind me to do something and I will acknowledge that I heard it, and even respond to it, but the next time she has to remind me again it's like I completely forgot. I just shut out the outside world often.

"I told you to let the dog out!"
"You did?"
"Yes, you even said 'ok'!"
"I don't remember that.



Jennyfoo
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 411

14 Apr 2008, 11:50 pm

OMG! This happens ALL THE TIME! I can tell Allaura how to do something 20 times and she'll still not do it right. Every time I explain it to her, it's like I'venever explained it to her before. It is soooo frustrating. LOL!



jat
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Age: 66
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Pennsylvania

15 Apr 2008, 7:26 am

I think Kim's got it right! My 14 y.o. Aspie does this all the time. It used to be that I could get him to pay attention by making sure that he could respond. Then that stopped working but if he repeated back to me what I'd said, I knew he'd "gotten" it. Then he started being able to do that while he was still totally somewhere else in his mind! Now, to have him actually hear me, we have to have a conversation, and even then I can't be sure! And it's not just about demands I make on him. I was telling him about Wrong Planet, and he said he wasn't really interested, and then I mentioned it again a couple of days later, he didn't remember hearing about it before. It's those video games he plays in his head - they're just more interesting than anything going on here! LOL!



jaleb
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Dec 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,714
Location: Kentucky

15 Apr 2008, 7:53 am

my favorite is when you tell them to go wash their hands and I go to check on him and he is sitting on the toilet! or vice versa, I'll tell him to go potty and he is standing at the sink washing his hands! or I will say put your cup back in the refridgerator and I catch him standing over the garbage can with it, or take your shirt off and he is doing his pants......I could go on!!


_________________
NT mom of two ASD boys

"Be kinder than necessary,
for everyone you meet is
fighting some kind of battle".


9CatMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,403

15 Apr 2008, 8:43 am

You could be describing me. There were some things, which to others seemed quite difficult, that I took to right away. It seems that things other people get right away are difficult for me. I feel my shoulders tense, knowing I disappointed somebody once again. These "stupid" moments happen at least once a day. How do I do so well at my job, yet I am seeming not able to see something right in front of me. I really want to do the right thing. It hurts me and makes me feel worthless.



Triangular_Trees
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,799

15 Apr 2008, 9:29 am

Sometimes when I sub the teacher doesn't have anything written down because they know they'd have a chance to talk to me.

Chances are when the happens I won't remember 90% of what i'm supposed to do, or I'll get what I'm supposed to do with A mixed up with b. Now if they had the instructions written down I could glance at them once and never forget.

I can only take in so much at once. I need time to digest what they're saying and the average person doesn't give you that time in a conversation. So what i hear is "A, B, bla blah blah, ok, and then, c, blah blah blah. D. You'll be fine." zI need time to picture what is being said if I'm going to be able to retain it two seconds later

Though in your case it does make me wonder if putting his hands in the cup is a stim, and his surprise at you telling him no is due to the fact he hadn't realized he was doing it in the first place



cd1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 141

15 Apr 2008, 9:32 am

nomad21 wrote:
Often my mom will tell me something or remind me to do something and I will acknowledge that I heard it, and even respond to it, but the next time she has to remind me again it's like I completely forgot. I just shut out the outside world often.

"I told you to let the dog out!"
"You did?"
"Yes, you even said 'ok'!"
"I don't remember that.



I do that and so does my son. My wife will tell me she wants something done. I'll make a concerted attempt to listen to her and will indicate I understand. An hour later I only remember a quarter of what she said even though I really did try. I do much, much better if she writes things down so I can read them again later.



annotated_alice
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 720
Location: Canada

15 Apr 2008, 9:33 am

Yup, all the time. Some of the time it seems to be because my sons have trouble making generalizations...as in "You told me to be polite to my teacher. You didn't tell me to be polite to every teacher?", so it seems like they're not listening.

Other times they seem to be listening, and will even respond, but their brain isn't actually engaged in understanding or remembering what I'm saying. I do the 'have them repeat back to me' thing too, and it helps.



cd1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 141

15 Apr 2008, 9:39 am

annotated_alice wrote:
Other times they seem to be listening, and will even respond, but their brain isn't actually engaged in understanding or remembering what I'm saying.



Yes. That happens to me. There are moments when I have to focus every bit of my energy on what someone is saying to me - and it still doesn't work. Usually those moments are when what that person is saying is out of context. If I'm sitting engaged in a task and someone walks up to me and starts telling me something they need done odds are I'm not going to recall the whole conversation 10 minutes later. I can't switch focus fast enough. I get around this at work by telling everyone to email me what they just told me - that works because I can read the email whenever necessary. This problem is inconsistent. Sometimes it is not a problem but other times it is insurmountable without those written instructions.

It's not something the poor kid is doing to rebel or to be lazy.



sinagua
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 368
Location: Rhode Island

15 Apr 2008, 10:40 am

KimJ wrote:
My son is autistic and sometimes I think it's because his speech issues interferes with his comprehension and sometimes I think he is completely checked out. lights on, no one's home. not in the way that he's not smart but that is just not present. He's in SuperMarioland or a Gene Kelly movie.


Yep, this is definitely our situation, as well. He's just not HERE, he's on stage with Bill Cosby. It doesn't matter how we speak to him, quietly, angrily, praise or criticism, he just giggles and dances away from us. Sometimes it's cute, but a lot of times it's maddening. :?



DevonB
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 253

15 Apr 2008, 10:51 am

My eight year old is a constant on this one. I've tried eye contact (what WAS I thinking?), I try touch, to make sure he's listening....(again....was I high? he can't stand it), I make him repeat it back...I try and get him to paraphrase...ask him questions...

In the end...I just repeat myself.

But...I do the same thing...ALL the time. I read through the thread and felt that recognition of self in most of it. My son does it, or I do. They know to blink the lights to get my attention at times. They know to touch me make sure I'm focused on them instead of sewing in my head, or completing my latest project in there....

It drives my NT partner and son crazy. Mind you, they have their moments too...<grin>

I keep hoping that if I repeat things often enough...he'll get it.



AngelUndercover
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 408
Location: somewhere else

15 Apr 2008, 11:06 am

I did that a lot when I was a kid; sometimes I still do. I used to be able to focus so deeply on something (usually a book I was reading) that I would have whole conversations without being aware of it. Later someone would mention the conversation to me and I would have no memory of it. I don't do that so much anymore (I can hardly ever get into that deep focus these days), but sometimes when someone tells me something, it will just fly out of my head. I'll go back later looking for it and it won't be there - for example, if I asked someone a question and received an answer, I'll remember asking the question but won't remember the answer. It happens more often when someone is explaining how to do something. I don't know why some stuff doesn't stick in my mind, but it drives me nuts.


_________________
"I don't even know how to explain it, but this is not my dimension, and my mind is never at peace; it's always somewhere else." - Josh Groban, Alla Luce Del Sole