Potty training

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My son is almost 3 and have some pretty severe control issues. He absolutely will not poop or pee on the potty. In fact, the only place he will poop is tightly gripping the left arm of the couch, standing. He refuses to sit down at all when pooping, even if we try just to have him sit in our laps or in a chair when he poops. I don't know how we'll ever get him potty trained when he puts such restrictions on how and where he will poop.

I also don't think he realizes when he pees at all. Sometimes I have him stand in the shower and run warm water on him, he pees, and I try to make him aware of it. I just don't think he's getting it.

My son is high-functioning and verbal, but yet when it comes to sensory issues he completely breaks down. I do want him potty-trained soon because I don't think the school district's special preschool program takes children still in diapers. Any advice on how to break through the pooping problem?

Sounds like your son was worse than mine. I refused to poop on the toliet. I would go anywhere else, but not the toliet. My mom sat me on a fake toliet in front of a TV for 2 hours and I would not poop, the second I was lifted off the toliet and had my pants on, I pooped. I thought it hurt to use the toliet, I do not know why. It was stuck in my mind that it hurt.

I assume your son may expect to stand while pooping because he pees while standing. It may just make more sense to him. I'd try making him pee while sitting as well. I know it sounds odd but it is possible for a boy to do so and it may help him with his problem.

Try moving the potty next to the couch where he likes to poop. Just a suggestion.

With my 5 y/o, we had him sit on his potty chair like a regular chair in the LR for awhile to get used to sitting on it. Then we moved it to the bathroom later and tried him going on it.

Most kids on the spectrum take longer to train. It's nothing personal. If the preschool won't take him, than maybe you should wait until he's fully trained, on his own timetable. A child knows when they're being rushed to achieve something that they're not physically or emotionally ready to achieve.

he might feel like he's under some sort of pressure.

My AS son didn't toilet train until closer to 4 years old. My NT son was 3 and a half - didn't do a single thing until one day he went from potty to toilet within hours. I would say if he is high-functioning and verbal he will get it eventually. I had the pressure of wanting him trained for pre-school too although in our country now they cannot stipulate toilet-training. I would just put a pull-up on and hope for the best. He ended up having a couple of showers there from accidents, but that was about it.

If you are really worried about it, talk to your doctor. I do know of a moderate autistic child who is 5-6 and not fully toilet trained.

My son was 4 before he would go toilet. He is now 5 and still has accidents and is not dry at night, never has been.
Don't rush him. He is still quite young.

hmm. my daughter went to daycare from the time she was about 11 months old. [there wasn't a choice of keeping her home or not, i had to work.] they had her in with kids a few months older than she was all along, as she seemed to do better with them socially. in the 2 1/2 -year-olds room they had a little bathroom with a row of potties. actual miniature toilets, really. just scaled down. flushed and everything. she wasn't required to go in and use them as she was several months younger. but she watched the "older" kids every day and, when she was able to talk, she told me one day on the way home from "school" that "sas needa potty". i was completely floored, as i'd checked out all those books on "how to" from the library but hadn't thought about potty training the kid yet because she was so young.

so i said "ok" and we went down the road to the walmart (equivalent of, anyway) and to the row of potties on the shelf. i said "ok, sas, which one do you want? do you want the one with the horsie on it? (i think it was a horsie. it might have been a puppy.) or the one with the seat so it can be a little potty chair now and then unfold to go on the big-girl's potty?" she looked at every box (there had to have been a half dozen of them). she really did think about it (terminally cute) then she walked over to the convertable one and said "dis".

so, we bought said convertable chair home and i set it up across from the toilet. i told her it was there whenever she wanted it and went to start supper. i watched her play with her toys in the living room for a few minutes, and then she got a very determined look on her face. she got up, she went in to the bathroom and pulled her pants down, took her diaper off, and sat. and sat. and sat. about five minutes later she got up and looked. nothing. so she sat. and sat. and sat. same determined look. and five minutes later she got up and looked. nothing. so she sat some more. then there was that unmistakable sound - she got a really excited look on her face and got up and looked, and ... a little bit of pee. (i was sitting on the floor in the hall the whole time, just watching this go by. i also have photos - she'd kill me now, but i have photos.)

over the next couple of weeks she got the hang of it and came and got me to show me when she'd used it (so i could empty it and congratulate her). after a few more weeks it was no more diapers in the daytime if she'd already pooped that day. her choice - i told her she could try going without for a while whenever she wanted to. she said ok, but wore them for a few more weeks. then we started with an afternoon when she asked, then longer. she had a few accidents (she was horrified when she lost it in the five and dime - realized she had to go, but it was too late, and there were a few clothes changes at school) but it got to where she could identify when she had to go. it helped that i took her to the bathroom every four hours, just in case, if we were going out.

after several more months she started the same routine with moving her bowels. then a few more weeks and it was not wearing diapers at night (that took a while). i never did get to read those books and i have never had a clue how this happened. i think it came from watching the other kids at the daycare, i really do. i asked the daycare staff if they'd been pushing her and they said that they'd told her she could go in and use the potty with the big kids when she was able to, and that one day (apparently after we bought the chair) she started getting in the line and going in.

she's always been a kind of unique kid.

My son finally, after a few periods of trying and failing, ( at two and a half-three, and again at four, etc) , stopped using nappies in the day the summer he turned five, and stopped needing them at night when he turned six.

He just didn't seem to get it before, and like some people said, would sit on potty or toilet for ages, do nothing, and then pee within minutes of getting off.

Well, I was hoping for some magic cure but I think we'll just have to wait. He really doesn't like the idea of a potty right now. I just thought maybe since he can speak and his high-fuctioning elsewhere that I could reason with him, but I guess it's just one of those things.

My son is six years old. I tink he has pretty well got the peeing down. He however can not feel or smell the poop. He has to ask me if he pooped. I am at my wits end. My two year old will be ready first i fear. diapers and pull-ups are so expensive. He just can't feel it he says.

The important thing is to remain calm. My mum didn't remain calm, and put a distance between the two of us, last year, when I've developed a bowel weakness, and was starting to wear Depend's. That distance is no longer between us, and I'm sure that she now feels horrible about the times that she yelled at me for having accidents, between the ages 4 and 6. It got to the point, where I had to wait until it was dark outside, before I had a bowel movement, as a small child, because I'd associate the brown stuff, with the darkness of the evil night.